yeah. im losing it... losing friends, losing self respect, and when i get it back, its so rare that i hold it high and turn it into egotism.... i have all of 3 actual friends (sure thats all you need, but most of them are double crossing bastards that talk halftruths or full out shits behind my back), sure you dont need lots of friends, but im 14. i need people to talk to... peers to talk to... none of them are interested in most of the stuff im into (psychology, philosophy, logic). and when i talk to adults, it feels like they are patronizing me. i am one neurotic fuck. i really try not to be an angst-y teen.. but i do really feel alone and that i really dont fit in. i hate where i am (but then again, so does everyone else). everyone is so close minded here... i tryed to show a paper that i wrote some subconsious ramblings and philosophical concepts on to some people. they drew dicks on it. i dont want to be egotistical, but everyone is so stupid and hold themselves so high. but i guess it doesnt matter, because they are the ones that are looked up to, the ones that have hot girlfriends, the ones that put other people down to get respect... the frustration has dicked me over, im an ass now because it made me so defencive and angry, which led to me making fun of other people and being a fucktard , and i have almost no friends. its hard to keep bottled up, and sometimes i cant get to sleep because of it. my life is sucking.. but then again, it could be worse. i have some of the awesomest parents, i never go hungry, i DO have some friends, even if most of them are dicks... my folks are still together, and most of my family is tolerable, i know how to do all kinds of artsy stuff (macrame, tiedyes, im going to get into glassblowing...) i get relatively good grades, and im not one of those depressed people who dwell on how much their lives suck, and just lead depressing lives.... all kinds of other things, but still, life as a teenager right now sucks for me.
dude, never lose your self-respect. never ever. your 14...beignn a teenager aint easy. but you can make it through...be yourself, don't conform to other people. soon enough, they will change and you will already be ahead of them. just be yourself, fuck everyone else. do what you want! have fun. **George Costanza voice - live damnit, live!!**
Do not fear, wise young one. It will all work out in the end. I was at one time going through the exact same thing you're going through. There are people out there your age that think and feel the same way you do, it's just a matter of finding them. It took me until I got to college to find those people, but let me tell you, now that I've found them, my life has changed for the better! Suddenly my ideas aren't "out in left field". Search online for organizations in your area that deal with the issues you are passionate about. If you can find one person of like-mind, they will know two people who will know two people who are the same way. Don't give in to the "assholes", don't stoop to their level. Be who you are, deep down inside. Don't be afraid to speak your mind because maybe there is someone out there like you, but too afraid of you ending up being like everyone else. Don't give up and be yourself... May the gods of life be good to you!
thanks... and yeah, im too non-conformist... im trying to better myself though... who am i to criticize other people's ideals?
life is tough,especially at your age,hang in there!one day..........better sooner than later,youll find those trusting friends and that beautiful girl who will be truely thankful for knowing,having.and loving you. maybe you should be more selective of the people who surround you
belive me, im smart enough not to hang out with bad people who would directly belittle or patronize me. its that their such backstabbing serpants..
