I get brain glitches every now and then and I'm wondering how many other people get the same thing. What I mean by "brain glitch" is a temporary mixing up of information or memories. For example, the other day, I went out to get "An Inconvenient Truth". They didn't have it in stock so I got "World Trade Centers" instead. I brought it home and my wife and I snuggled up to watch the movie. One of the previews was for "An Inconvenient Truth". I said "Now why would they advertize for a movie that we already got?" And my wife said "But we didn't get this." Then I remembered that we didn't get "An Inconvenient Truth" - I wanted to, but they were out. "Oh yeah" I said as she laughed at me and I laughed at myself. But that sort of thing happens to me a lot. I don't know if it has anything to do with my supposed ADD - tendency to forget things is one of the symptoms - but it's definitely not the usual kind of forgetting that most people experience. I'm also paranoid that it might be the effect of doing drugs over a long period of times (10 years or so), but I really only do marijuana and no more than once a week on average. I've been told by parents and others that I've been doing this ever since I was a kid, but I don't think I really took notice of it back then - now I'm more self-reflective. Does this happen to other people?
Yes, my memory is horrible,but then again I have DID so I have no concious memory of entire days or even weeks sometimes.
Wow, that's interesting. I've never met someone with DID before. What do you know about your other personality (or personalities), if you don't mind my asking?
I only know of two others. I am not an extreme case so neither have names or anything. But when I black-out (while sober) and one takes over I party really hard, take a lot of illegal and RX drugs, down shot after shot, don't care about school or work, drive drunk, make a million plans to do things with friends, spend like crazy and make-out with all different types of people. People usually can't tell that I have split when this facet comes out. They assume I am drunk or using hard drugs. People recognize that I have split when I switch sides and become very prissy, neat and organized, display OCD like behavior (wash my hands a lot, carry floss with me and floss all damn day), write and seek out as many freelancing ooportunities as possible (which sometimes I will not go through with after the split is over) and become very shy and quiet. The real me is pretty laid back, really flirty, likes to get tipsy but not drunk, wants nothing to do with drugs (but sometimes I am dependent because of my alter creating addiction), very picky over who my friends are and who I date and is very well written and articulate. My diagnosis is temporary...they believe. I've only split twice in the past month, once for two days and once for an afternoon. I do not recall either time completley, but have breif flashbacks when I split into my first alter. I never recall my second alter though....prob because she's boring as fuck d: Wow that was a release. I have never been that open about it.
That sounds like the typical good-girl/bad-girl duo. That's fascinating stuff. When I was younger, I used to think of myself as having a sort of multiple personality (except that I knew about them all so they weren't genuinely "split"). Do doctors know how it works? It probably has to do with the brain forming neural networks that are completely disconnected from each other. So is this condition debilitating for you or do you get by?
I am completley functional, enough to get by. I have had very good jobs at non-profits for my age, so I have worked full-time and go to school, am physically healthy and pretty responsible. I am a freelance conference speaker a few times a year so I am guessing I am presentable and don't come off as crazy. It's hard when I jump into a relationship, drink too much, make outlandish purchases and then later have to pay the consequences and clean the mess up. I have a hard time getting close to people or being reliant on them in relationships. Luckily I do not have sex, don't like the drugs I take normally, am not mean to others and am not as destructive as other cases I have heard of when I do split. It was worse before I knew what it was. I have no idea. I know mine stemmed from emotional trauma though, or that's what they say. I don't know if that truma can actually physically alter your braint hough. Honestly, I am afraid to read up on it as most cases are presented so harsh and over exagerated. Everyone has their quirk hahaaaa
Emotional trauma can definately create alters. The CIA uses this technique to mind control people. It's a lot to explain, but it is definately true.
Yes... I have things like that happen to me all the time.... Yes, I have done a lot of drugs in the past.... Yes, it's kinda scary.....
I don't suppose you'd remember what the trauma was, would you? Sorry if that's too personal a question - don't answer it if you don't want to. Do you think this is something you can control? I mean, could you train yourself to recognize when a split was coming on and then stop it? Could you bring one on at will? Also, I don't suppose you'd know if any of the alters retain memories of your normal ego, would they - or are they just as split off from your reality as you are from theirs? Sorry for all the nosy questions. I'm a really curious person. Tell me to mind my own business if that's how you feel.
I remember what the truama was but do not remember the details. I can bring one on, but I can't keep one from happening. I do know that the first alter is inherently me, but tries to keep me hidden. It's hard to explain. I usually come out of that one by waking up in a fog, feeling like I am fighting for conciousness and then a panick attack brings me back to myself. My second alter wants nothing to do with the real me, completley different person, not just another personality it feels like. My therapist thinks this is who I think I am supossed to be, what my family's expectations are. If I stay sober I can control it more easily. I know the things that trigger the first one to split-like sex, drinking, seeing others do cocaine (I split to justify doing it myself I think). The second one is triggered when I am in a fight with somone close to me, am in the public light a lot. The second one does not eat anything but fruit, cottage cheese and water, which I find very odd. I have gotten so much better. I was really bad last spring and didn't know what was wrong with me. I think I will be able to control it eventually with more cognitive therapy and less pills.
Well, thanks for answering my questions Bella. You're a very interesting person. I hope you gain more control over this condition. If you learn how to stop a split from coming on, you might have a very powerful tool in your hands. I can see this being handy in certain social situations where you have to make a good impression on people. I would love to be able to "become" a different person in order to fit into a variety of different social settings, and then turn it off when the need goes away. I don't know. Maybe you'd like nothing more than just to be rid of your alters, and if it feels more like a curse than a gift (even if only a potential gift), then I'm sorry. I just feel that all (or most) "disorders" can be turned into skills or tools if you learn to put it under your control. Anyway, thanks for being open and honest. I'll leave this thread for the topic of my weird "brain glitches" once again
Okay, here's another example: Today, I was going out to get a movie and I wanted to stop by the library to drop off some CDs I borrowed. My wife tells me "The library isn't open on Friday evenings." "Oh, okay" I said. So I head out the door grabbing the CDs on the way. Now this time, I didn't forget that I couldn't drop the CDs off, I just had it in my head that before I went out the door, I needed to grab the CDs. This is another sort of "brain glitch" I get. It's not based on forgetting, it's based on not clueing in that what I'm doing on at the moment doesn't need to be done anymore if the long-term goal has changed or has been dropped. For example, this has happened a few times at work (I forget the details). I'd be working on a task that needs to be done for an even bigger task. I get told that the bigger task has been dropped, I acknowledge, but then keep on working on the smaller task - for some reason, I don't clue in that if we're not doing the bigger task anymore, the smaller task doesn't need to be done either.
Dude, I wouldn't worry yourself about it. I get that a few times a day. I'm sitting in my friends basement with 4 other people and they all said it happens to them often too. Not all of us are drug users, some are but one of them is not and it happens to him too. No worrys brotha. I've had shit short term memory since forever, and it most of the time I remember shit if I really focus on it, like if I was working on homework, if you asked me an hour later what it was I could explain it in detail, because I am really concentrated on it. But a trip to the video store my brain would be in almost auto-pilot, and I might not grasp immediately what I bought like you did, instead of saying that aloud I woud think it first "Why would they advertise for a movie that we already got?", and then think about it for a second, and then be like Ohhhh! I didn't get that one. But sorry to be long, I just don't want you to be buggin out dude, 5 out of 5 people here all said they get it too, nothin to stress about =)
Thanks dude, Yeah, I could never tell whether it was too much ganj or just me noticing more. I've always had a bad memory and I'm a big time scatter brain, but I've also heard that long-time use of weed can damage your memory so I got worried. I couldn't tell if it was getting worse or I was just noticing it more because I was looking for it. Anyway, thanks. I feel better now.
i think the long-time use of weed damaging memory is only something that severly heavy users go through. i could be wrong, and maybe i just have a really good memory in general. but only the people i used to know that smoked about 1/8th or more a day would have memory issues and that was basically because they were stoned all the time. back when i was severly depressed i'd stay buzzed or high most of the day for months at a time. only ever using weed and then occasionally on anti-depressants. i dont remember (though that could be the problem) ever having memory lapses. now, i rarely use maybe once every few months will i smoke and i don't notice any difference to my memory at all. some things that have altered my memory at times were the anti-depressants, depending on what i was on. or even if i wasn't on anything and became more stressed. on days when my mind is racing anyhow i have a hard time keeping thoughts in my head sorted and will forget things. for instance, i'll get ready, go out of the house start the car and start pulling out and then realize that i don't have my glasses on and have to run back inside to get them. it's something that i should realize but because my brain is already on so many different trains of thought it just falls through the cracks. ultimately i don't think you have anything to worry about. i've experienced the sort of situation that i described above for YEARS ... long before I even smoked or thought of smoking. I had about 4-5 years where I was a severly heavy smoker and overall have been smoking weed for 11 years now on and off. nothing has changed. my memory lapses haven't gotten worse they haven't gotten better. but for me they are usually triggered by my mind racing and overall anxiety/panic about whatever it is i have going on for the day that makes my brain 'stutter' and forget little details about what is going on.
As you've described your experiences, I'm pretty glitchy myself. I've had short-term memory issues my entire life thus far, and a few minor closed head injuries didn't help matters. And that was before I smoked pot.... My long-term is fantastic though, I had this experience the other day. K: Rue, have you met ___? Me: *looks closely* You look familiar... *rummages memories* Yes, but only once. K: Really? When? Me: Labor day at your house last year, in the backyard. He's your...brother-in-law? Right? K: She's good... Drakie: Yeah, but she can't remember what she had for breakfast....... Me: *swat*
Maybe this will make you feel better. I get pretty bad gliches myself. Theirs been times I was filling out papers at work and I couldnt remember what year it was. Had to ask someone. Sometimes I forget how old I am too. A few weeks ago I was at the gas station gettin some beer. I didnt have my ID and when the lady asked how old I was I went totaly blank and just stood there with a stupid blank look on my face. Ya, didnt get the beer. Ever go translike when your driving and when you get to your destination you look back and realize you cant even remember the journey. I cant remember peoples names worth a shit either and sometimes when people asked what I did the day before I draw a total blank. Im just a complete scatterbrain most of the time and I just learn to laugh about it and make light of my little brain glitches.
