*Sigh* 4-month check-up.

So, I took Alexis to the KidCare place today for her check-up and was totally made to feel inadequate as a mother. The doctor told me everything I did wrong and how he could have fixed it had I let him know....but, I guess he forgot that 2 months ago, I told him everything and he still blamed it on me. ....
He told me that Alexis is obese and it's all my fault because I feed her too much. She's 15 lbs. 6 oz....90th percentile for her age. He told me I should have never put her on Soy formula because she was never allergic to regular milk....even though when I asked him if the change was ok he said 'sure' because she spit up so much. He failed to ask all the signs of allergies. So, he basically told me that my baby is fat and needs a diet. YEA RIGHT. He said she's too long, too....24 and 3/4 inches, for her age. I didn't know it was possible for a baby to be too long for their age. She's in like....the 75th percentile or something like that. And, her head is 16.5 inches.
She has an ear infection in both ears, but she's never shown any signs of it, she doesn't play with her ears or anything. She's just kinda fussy when she wants to eat, and she's had a lot of boogars lately. He kinda insinuated that I'm a terrible person for letting her get an earache. I cover her head and ears AND put her in a snow suit with a hood everytime we go out, not to mention a car seat cover. If anything, I'm OVER doing it.
Blech. That stressed me out. I definitely want a new doctor. But, he's the only one around here that takes a medical card. Junk.

 

Ignore the doctor.
My DD is off the charts for both height and weight, and she has been that way practically since birth. Our babies are not obese-they are just squishy babies! Its totally normal! That doc is a douchebag....how can a kid be too long?!?!?

There are natural remedies for ear infections-I'm sure one of the other mamas can give you more info on that.

It seems to me that you are doing a great job with your babe. I hate it when doctors
go out of their way to make people feel like crap.

 

Hon, get a new doctor. You and the pediatrician are a team, trying to keep your baby healthy. He doesn't see her 24/7 like you do, so he needs to respect your input and observations AND INSTINCT as a mother. And you don't have his medical expertise, so you need him. And if the balance isn't there, if he doesn't respect you or you feel inadequate in his presence, you need to find someone you DO balance with.

As far as her being obese: If she were 90th percentile weight and 20th percentile height, I might think maybe she were a bit chunky, but Moire is in the 90th percentiles height and 80th percentiles weight and she's long and lean. A child isn't OBESE until she's OFF the growth chart. I mean, if there is a percentile for it, then obviously some other child of the same age was the same height/weight right?

Seriously hon. Get a new ped. *hugs to you and Alexis* Cutie Patooties.

 

Pay that doctor no mind. My oldest son's doctor was always making comments about how he was off the growth charts, overweight, that I needed to make sure I wasn't feeding him too much. He showed me the growth charts, showed me what was considered normal, and how my son was above that. I ignored him because I knew what I was feeding him, he was eating super healthy homemade baby foods and never sick. Junk foods were not a part of his diet whatsoever.

Today, at 7 years old, he's still off the growth charts for his HEIGHT, but his weight has dropped back, he's so long and lean. Not an inch of "fat" on him.

Needless to say, I did end up taking him to another pediatrician and I'm much, much happier with him.

 

I had the opposite problem with weight. Taylor's always been tiny. When he kept dropping on their charts (which, by the way are based on formula-fed babies, who grow differently than breastfed babies), they bullied me into getting him tested for cystic fibrosis as well as doing some blood tests. I'm glad they didn't try to bully me into supplementing with formula because I would've gone off on them. They also made me go see a nutritionist, who thought the doc was nuts for even sending us after I told her what Taylor eats. She said his diet is awesome.

Pediatricians suck.

 

I would be looking for a new pediatrician if I were you. No mother should be made to feel bad after an appointment. The doctor is there to help you!

Good luck and don't worry...all babies are different and those charts are a PITA. In order to make those charts, some babies have to be in the 2%, others in the 96%, so don't worry. She sounds like a chubby happy baby!!

 

yeah, ur doc is a fucktard
leane is in the 95 persentile for weight and the 85th for her height. I have heard nothing but people say that she's a happy healthy baby. I really dont even bother with the checkups anymore. I was going religiously for a while there, but I noticed that I was being told the same things every time, so I just stopped going. Not that my ped was a bad doc or anything, I just realized that evrything seemed fine the way it was, so now I only take her if she's really sick

 

Thanks, mamas. There is another doctor in the same building as him, they work as like....a team kinda thing, I guess. I like him a lot better, and he was originally supposed to be Alexis' ped. anyway. He was the one that saw her in the hospital when she was born. I'm going to request ONLY him and refuse to see the other guy.

 

Oh doctors are dipshits, like everyone is suposed to be the same. Why are there guys who are only 5 foot tall but are healthy as an ox and guys that are 6-5?


That whole chart deal they have that they assume all babies should fit in is dreamed up by some fucking looser who could not find a real job.

If your baby is healthy, playful, alert then damn the charts.

As for the whole formula deal, just 16 years ago they freaked if you treid to give your child milk as a baby and said the soy formula was best if you did not breast feed so seems they cant make up there minds or the formula companies stopped offering kick backs.

As for the ear infecctions, shit happens, if the baby was not showing the signs then WTF, tell him to give you the little ear looking deal and his medical degree and you will not need his services anymore.

Doctors are supposed to assist and help you, when they step over the line you set them straight or get another one.

Iam a doctors worse nightmare, they hate me becuase I wont roll over and put up with there mighty bull shit. I make them bastards spend at least 20 minutes with my sorry ass for every appointment too since they bill my insurance company for the whole hour anyway.

You need to set that doctor straight, there is a difference between informing you of risks, traits, situations to look out for ect but when your just plain out slapping a person with insults, fuck him, I would have seen how well he could have cured his own broken nose.

 

They actually can't. LENGTH is determined, mostly, by genetics, not feeding. You can't get a "tall" baby by "overfeedling."

Also, someone has to be in the 90%. Someone has to be in the 5%. If every baby was exactly 50%, that would be ridiculous. I've had babies in the 95% and I've had babies in not even on the charts. (Sage was below 2 percentile, until she was 6 weeks old, and then stayed near 5% for a long time. Moon was a 95% baby and they were fed the SAME STUFF in the same way.) Babies are individuals.

Also, if Alexis was crying during the exam, I would have someone else reexamine her for "ear infection." Most GOOD peds will not even treat overt ear infections (my Ped only treats them if it looks like the tympanic membrane may rupture, or the baby is absolutey miserable and fever spiking.) A "red ear drum" is NOT an ear infection, but about 20 years ago, "ear infection" was flavor of the week (or decade) diagnosis, (as "reflux" is now) and some doctors will diagnose ANY red ear drum as an "infection." If she is happy, gaining, babbling and not feverish, I certianly wouldn't give her any antobiotics for a simple "red ear drum." ESPECIALLY if he saw this on both ears, that is almost a given that it was due to the baby recently crying, which often (almost always) turns the ear drum red. If you have to see him again, as him if there is evidence of eflusion or if it is a serous ear. (Eflusion is pus behind the ear drum and a serous ear is STERILE fluid in the middle ear, which will not respond to antibiotics. A baby who has had a cold can have a serous ear for MONTHS afterward. It doesn't need treatment, unless hearing is effected.) Eflusion, with severe pain, fever and threat of tympanic membrane is basically the ONLY reason to treat an ear infection.

In a number of studies, babies who were left alone with even Eflusion "ear infections" recovered just as quickly with NO treatment than those who were exposed to an antibiotic. Maybe a little baby Motrin or Tylenol or a Homeopathic ear infection treatment like Chamomilla can help (NOT chamomille tea, totally different than homepathic Chamomilla) or Aconite. In most cases, antibiotics should be reserved for serious situations and a red ear drum isn't one of these.

The problem with seeing the partner of the doc you don't like is that he is highly UNLIKELY to disagree with his partner, even if he wants to. Doctors work as teams, and tend to stand up for each other's diagnoses as well as their mistakes. My advice would be to go somewhere TOTALLY different, and be as confident and freindly as possible when you go for your first appointment.One more piece of advice NEVER diss a doctor in front of an other doctor. If he asks you why you are changing peds, say something like "I was told you were really good with babies, and I wanted to see someone at this hospital, as it has a good reputation." Yes,doctors DO respond to being a little buttered up. Don't overdo it, but be nice and show you are confident.


I certainly would NOT be rude to any of the doctors, though. Rude patients have a VERY high risk of having diagnoses "missed" and being often given painful tests which are not needed. Doctors ARE human beings, they need the same respect everyone does. Being an asshole to them (as one poster suggested) will only get your file flagged, and you and your dd will be the ones to eventually have poor medical care. YOU won't "teach" a doctor anything by being rude to them. Working in health care, I know MY reaction to rude patients, I spend less time with them, I am more likely to refer them to other, HCPS, and NOT A ONE of these rude patients has ever "taught" me anything other than affirm that "some people are assholes."

You DO have a right to stand up for your baby and for yourself, but insulting a doctor is likely to be like shooting yourself in the foot.

 

What this will "gain" you is nothing but being "referred" to other doctors, until no one but the bottom of the barrel, in terms of medical proficiency will even see you, having diagnoses missed, because they will be in such a hurry to get OUT of the exam room with you, NEVER getting pain adequetely treated, because doctors are much less likely to beleive a really difficult patient, when that patient needs narcotics, and raise your risk of a serious illness or condition being overlooked or even ignored. NO ONE can work in an enviroment of hostility. Acting like this in a doctor's office is worse than not going there at all. You are gonna be the guy who gets his cancer or his high cholesteral missed until it is too late to do anything. YOU are not helping yourself by being like this towards people who have a strong influence on what happens to your health.

Disagreement is fine, being a jerk isn't. Doctors will start avoiding you like the plague (HCPS TALK to each other, beleive me) and God help you if you ever really NEED adequate or even superior medical care, no one will want to be your doctor.

I agree with what you said about the charts, some doctors rely MUCH too heavily on them. A healthy baby can be about anywhere on the charts, and the charts are really not appropriate for breastfed, black, Latino or Asian children, as they were originally taken from a small sample of children, all white, all middle class, all fed HIGH PROTEIN formulea they used to give children, back in the 1960s in a small area of Ohio. MOST kids need a more accuarate chart. But, you can't verbally abuse a HCP and expect them to be happy to do their difficult job correctly (can YOU work properly when people are yelling at you, or being intentionally difficult and it is directed at you? Or do you try to do as little as possible to get away from the person giving you a diss?)

Every patient has the right to question, disagree, present evidence and do what THEY feel is right for themselves and their children, but being intentionally disagreeable to someone who is trying to help (even if THEY are being a jerk themselves) is only going to harm you.

 

get a new doctor!

and go when you or your little one are sick, not healthy...you will know when you really need to see a doctor.

 

Alexis cried almost the whole exam. She was just fussy and didn't want to be out anywhere, and she let me know it.
The only thing that I worry about with her ears is her ear wax. It's kinda dark brown color....and thick. BUT, my little brothers AND my dads (Well, my dad adopted him because he's marrying his mom and he doesn't have a dad, so there's no relation there) is the same exact color and consistency. My soon to be step mother told me that her pediatrician told her that her sons ears are that way because of sinuses or something like that.
He never told me what kind of ear infection it was, if it was just a red ear or what. I just know he said she has one. He put her on penicillin.
After she started the penicillin, she started to sound congested, and now she has A LOT of boogars, they aren't a weird color, just a lot more than she had before. AND, her chest sounds congested. So, I don't know what to think about that. Plus, she's been super fussy since we've started the penicillin. She didn't act like that the first time she was on it, so I don't think it's her reacting like she's allergic, she's just....different.
And, the reflux, he also told me she had that. I don't know what brought that up as he went straight from ear infection talk to telling me that she just had reflux and that I should never have started her on formula that I could have breastfed. When, he was the one that HAPPILY wrote me a form for WIC that said she needed to be put on Soy formula.

I talked to him the last time I took Alexis in. The doctor I am currently seeing put her on penicillin before for an ear infection when she was....maybe, almost 2 months old. I had to go back for a check up and the other doctor was the only one in. He said it was just absolutely ridiculous that she was on any medication because her ears were fine. So, they may just work the same building and may not be 'partners'.

I don't try to be rude or mean or teach them anything. I usually just break down and cry because I'm a big wuss.

 

Moon, I wasn't saying YOU were being rude, not at all. I was responding to an other poster. I am sorry you thought that.

I hope the new doctor is good for you and the baby. That other guy sounds very inconsistant, if he is dissing you one day for doing what he suggested on an other. The thing is, if they are partners, do you have to see the doctor you don't like (or talk to him on the phone) when HE is on call, and the doctor you like isn't? No doctor is on call 24 hours a day, every day of the week. Did the new guy know his partner prescribed the penicillin? What did he say when you told him it was him?

Once the Ped I love wasn't in the office, and I had to see one of the docs I am not crazy about (our Ped office has about 6 or 7 doctors in it) the one I didn't like told me that I shouldn't be breastfeeding Sunshine "so much" when she had a cold, and should be giving her water, because "You know how milk gets all that gunk in your throat?" (Sunshine was like, 5 months old) So, I said, No, I wasn't confortable giving a baby water, but I would continue to nurse her, thank you. (I was polite, but politely disagreed.) I was also told that she has an ear infection. When I filled the prescription there was a huge note on the bottle which said "This medicine MUST be taken with a large quantity of water." I was livid at how Passive Aggresive that doctor was. I called our doctor, who was on call that night, and was nearly crying, saying "I don't want to give Sunshine water, we just got over the Nipple Confusion and I don't want to fill her up with water." The good doctor said, in a disgusted voice, "WHO told you to give that baby water? I don't beleive in water for babies, plus you are breastfeeding, you can just nurse her after the medicine. WHO told you you HAD to give her water? The pharmacist? What a jerk?" I paused for a minute and then said it was her partner, Dr. K. There was absolute silence. Then she tried to turn it around, and said "Maybe she didn't know you were breastfeeding." I let her know what had happened, along with the "gunk in the throat" thing (my doctor made a noise when I told her that.) and although I could tell my Ped didn't agree with her partner (who minutes earlier, not knowing who had said so, called her a "jerk") still wouldn't say anymore about it.

Just make sure, if you see that partner, that you will not have to ever run into the other guy. Docs take turns on call, and seeing kids in the ER, ect, so the chance of your getting through the next 18 years without seeing him are virtually nil. Just to be safe, look around, to see who else takes your card. This doctor sounds like he could be a real problem.

 

I think I posted this before but I'll say it again. An emergency room nurse told me not to nurse Jimmy when we took him in for gastroenteritis when he was about 5 months old. She said he shouldn't be getting "dairy" when he was so sick to his stomach, or some such nonsense. I think like Maggie says all the time that most people just don't have a clue. When Jimmy was a few months old we got "the other" doctor in our office. There's like a dozen of them but this is a guy and YOUNG and kind of zealous and over-cautious. He reccomended that I start giving Jimmy a "big bowl of cereal before bedtime, so he'll start sleeping through the night." I just smile and nod and do my own thing. Just last week the nurse at my OBGYN told me I was too skinny (5'6 110 lbs, not THAT skinny) to be nursing and I should stop now. But Jimmy has been really sick for almost a month and hasn't been able to hold down any food until a few days ago. If I hadn't been breast feeding he wouldn't be eating anything at all!

 

After reading all the posts on this thread, I feel like I was reading about peoples medical nightmares. What a crazy, confusing world of doctors, pediatricians, and mothers and children in dilemma. I somehow avoided all the numerous charts, and graphs, and schedules, and tests by not ever taking any of my 5 daughters to any doctors, and just assuming they were the right height and weight, and were developing at the proper rate. As far as illness and dis-ease, we just decided to deal, ourselves, with whatever health situations arose. There were numerous sore throats, swollen glands, high fevers, even whooping cough, and we just decided to stay at home, keep them warm and fed, and follow our own instincts about what was going on with their bodies, and what to do for them. Time seemed to heal everything, and each time they seemed to grow stronger. No immunizations, no antibiotics, no medications, no shots, no doctors.


Sometimes there is a need to make a doctors visit, and I would not hesitate to, if my instincts and intuitions told me more help than I could give, was needed. This just did not arise in the many years I was a parent of small children. I am very thankful. !

 

After reading all the posts on this thread, I feel like I was reading about peoples medical nightmares. What a crazy, confusing world of doctors, pediatricians, and mothers and children in dilemma. I somehow avoided all the numerous charts, and graphs, and schedules, and tests by not ever taking any of my 5 daughters to any doctors, and just assuming they were the right height and weight, and were developing at the proper rate. As far as illness and dis-ease, we just decided to deal, ourselves, with whatever health situations arose. There were numerous sore throats, swollen glands, high fevers, even whooping cough, and we just decided to stay at home, keep them warm and fed, and follow our own instincts about what was going on with their bodies, and what to do for them. Time seemed to heal everything, and each time they seemed to grow stronger. No immunizations, no antibiotics, no medications, no shots, no doctors.


Sometimes there is a need to make a doctors visit, and I would not hesitate to, if my instincts and intuitions told me more help than I could give, was needed. This just did not arise in the many years I was a parent of small children. I am very thankful. !

 

ITA. Babies don't NEED to go to the doctor unless there is something wrong!

 

Edit: MOST babies don't need to go to the doctor unless there is something wrong.

I have walked into counseltations where the baby was seriously dehydrated and the mother thought the baby was "fine." I have also seen family members who had children with Failure to Thrive and thought the baby was "fine" (He sleeps all the time. What a "good baby.")

Not everyone has common sense, and even those of us who do can miss things. Every parent needs to make their own choice. But I always tell moms, "Your Ped is there as a Medical Consultant, Not your Lifestyle Consultant. He's there for illness, and to make sure things really are 'fine' he isn't there for where or how your baby should sleep, he most likely knows little about nutrition, he may know nothing about breastfeeding or normal infant psychological development. Use him as you would any other consultant."

When I used to work with Autistic Children (years ago, when there was no "autism spectrum", just full blown text book Autism) we had parents who thought "everything was fine" when a FIVE year old wasn't saying a word or making eye contact. Some people DO need help. Some parents are good at reading their own children and their needs, but in the lives of most children, a little medical help now and then may well be needed. In some children's lives, the parents are SO clueles (like we were talking about the other day) that a visit to the Ped every other month is the only thing that may be keeping that child alive.

 

I LOOOOOVE this! LOL. I always feel like hitting my head into a brick wall when my friends tellme that they asked their ped advice about sleeping or eating solids. WTF? That doesn't make any sense! Unless Dr. Sears was our ped, then I'd ask! Or Dr. Jay Gordon. LOL!