Since I have HIV, will I ever have a sex life?

I am currently a virgin, and I'm just wondering if it will ever be ok for me to have any sort of sex life? I don't want to just go around having random sex with random people, but do you think anyone would be willing to have sex with me? I refuse to do anything beyond making out with a person without telling them what I have. I just don't think I could live with myself if they caught it, especially if they didn't know i had it. But would anyone be willing to maybe after we've discussed the risks have sex? Not a lot, but I don't want to die a virgin. And its not like my life is going to be cut extremely short because of this. I go to some very good doctors, several of which are already working on the vaccine for it. Yes they've come out with one, but they're still testing it and they dont' know how much good it will do since each vaccine is only good for that particular strand of HIV. Ok, i'm off track now. But i'm just curious, is there?

 

Well unless another person on here has HIV, and knows all about it I don't think anybody should be giving you a real answer. It's something you should always discuss of course. I myself, and i'm sure plenty others don't know the real risk's.

 

My aunt has AIDS and she still has a sex life.. With her though, she's always been into men more than anything else in this life.. She's highly addicted to sex.. She's admitted to having sex with 2 different men in the same night on more than one occasion.. She does realize what her actions have caused but she still has sex with these men.. She tells them first thing and they don't seem to care.. Of course she now uses protection but if your case is anything like my aunt's then you will still have a sex life.

I hope you stay true to your word and tell these women that you're HIV positive.. 2 years ago my aunt was seeing a man who cheated on her with his ex, contracted the virus and didn't tell my aunt until AFTER she took him back and slept with him.. The family was devastated but taking him back and having unprotected sex was the decision she chose to go with.

 

Yes...you can still have safe sex....use condoms......make sure the condom is put on before ...and you cant spread aids by passionate kisses.....many people with aids still have a wonderful sex life.

 

Agreed, safe, fulfilling sex is possible and will be fine, as long as you use protection and make sure all lines of cimmunication are open, all the time!

 

Many people with HIV have active sex lives, but you must only have protected sex with your partners, even if they also have HIV (it is not yet known if full blown AIDS can be hastened by two HIV positive partners having unprotected sex). If you have unprotected sex with a partner without telling them you have HIV, it is a crime in many states, and you could be charged with murder or attempted murder (I am an attorney and have prosecuted murder cases in the past).

But you can lead a nearly normal sex life if you take some precautions, and if you find an understanding partner, it should be fine for you.

 

Oh its never, EVER a good idea to have sex with someone else who has HIV if you have it. since there are more than one strands you can get double-infected, making the treatment much harder and much more limited. But thanks for all the kind words. To be honest I knew all this myself, but I was having one of those moments again where I just kind of started to wonder about it... Again thanks to all who replied.

 

I think you should be fine as far as a sex life goes. It WILL have an impact, but someone who loves you for you hopefully can be perfectly comfortable with it. Of you'd wear a condom, and you'd have to let the person know ahead of time. I have a friend who is HIV positive who makes it a policy to tell someone about HIV status as soon as things turn _at all_ physical. Some partners can't deal, others are fine with it.

The other thing to know is that HIV treatments can be very effective at reducing the risk. When the virus is completely repressed by drugs, transmission rates are exceedingly low. One HIV researcher at a big-name medical institution had low viral levels thanks to the medications and went on to have two children with his wife--neither his wife nor the kids have HIV. So that's another thing to bear in mind--the better the viral load is managed by drugs, the lower there is any risk to a partner in the rare event that a condom has a problem.

 

Could you clarify something for me? You say you're a virgin but HIV+. I didn't know it was possible to be born that way. Is it because your parents are/were HIV+?

I can't lie to you, it's going to turn a lot of people away. I came pretty close to having sex with someone who said, just as we were starting to get intimate "I'm HIV positive". I thanked them for telling me, but that I had to leave. This person felt very guilty about it and was entirely understanding (actually, they basically suggested I leave, as they knew I'm negative and didn't want to risk infecting me).

I really, really hope you do the same for all your partners and tell them first. I can't imagine how pissed (and later depressed. And later dead) I would be if I did go through with it (even though I always use protection, you never know).

 

It would be cruel not to wear to protection.

 

I'ved known of many ppl (HIV positive) who do have a healthy sex life. They do tell their partners. Some of them are married and are even able to have kids (even when mommy is the one positive). Just protect yourself always.

 

Be honest with your partner, make sure you are 100% honest tell him/her everything

Having something like HIV is crap but passing it on to someone else is fucked up, well done for looking for advise and things though, that shows you are clever and respectful x hope things work out ok x

 

i think it's wonderful that you feel the need to tell people about you being hiv positive i wish all people would understand how important that is. and of course you can have normal sex life ! just be honest and patient


you know, i would rather have protected sex with someone hiv positive who is totally honest about it than unprotected sex with someone who thinks he's hiv negative

 

You can live your life with HIV. My best friend has been positive for years, has good health, is married to another HIV + person. They met online at a website designed for people who have HIV to meet one another, found out they lived in the same area, and so on. It can happen for you. I would say the important thing is you have to be upfront about your status and never, ever risk passing the virus on to another person. Learn everything you can about protecting your partners. and take care of yourself, eat healthy, get into vitamins, try to keep your stress down...live your life. It's gonna be ok.

 

It's completely possible. As long as you use protection and confide in your partner, you can definitely have a wonderful sex life. I wish there were more people like you who felt the need to tell your partners; not many people are as honest.