My g/f and I had been talking about experimenting with other ppl sexually, so one night she went out with the guy that she said she kinda wanted to do stuff with. Before she did though, she PROMISED me that she would not do anything with him that night, but she did. I ended up forgiving her though.....first off, does this count as cheating??....secondly...does it give me the right to experiment with someone, because she is now reluctant to let me and I don't think that's very fair. thnx for ur opinions
Have you ever heard "whats good for the goose is good for the gander" because she went out and played, yet expects you not to. I am not suggesting that two wrongs make a right, but she wanted an open relationship, had one, and now forbids you.....that is just messed up.
You both need to quit exploring this kind of relationship. It is very hard to pursue something like this especially when it seems like you are both worried about pushing boundries. To be honest you would be better off just breaking up and being with other women. This relationship is heading for a break up if you continue to push this.
I agree with Haid -- it does not sound like you have anywhere near the strong foundation to your relationship that would make it plausible that you might be able to make an open relationship work. Either stop now or break up. Personally, based on your question (she did it, I wanna, that's not fair), I'm assuming that you are pretty young. In which case, you should just break up and get your experimentation out of the way before you try to commit. You two agreed to try something. She got a date before you did. She has since become uncomfortable with the arrangement... Rule number one in sexual relationships is that, no matter what you want, when one partner becomes uncomfortable with something, you both STOP. No, it's not always fair and may leave one person having not gotten off or whatever. But, adults realize that the relationship and their partner's feelings are more important, while children worry about what is "fair".
I agree completely with Haid. SHe had her fun and now doesnt' want to let you have yours. It's neither fair, nor right.
Was she the one that said you shouldn't experiment with others? How did you feel when she "did stuff" with the other guy?
Yes, she did basically cheat on you -- even if you two agreed to try the open thing, she failed to live up to her promise to not do anything that night. That is exactly the sort of reason you two should not even be trying this -- you have to trust one another 1000% to abide by any limits you two agree upon. HOWEVER, the adult response is to decide between breaking up (as the trust is ruined) or putting in the effort to make this relationship work (getting past the broken trust). Didn't your parents ever teach you that two wrongs don't make a right? You fooling around with someone else right now will do NOTHING but hurt her -- it sure as hell won't help your relationship.
Sleep with her mom, just kidding, seems like you did not really forgive (not that I blame you) and I kinda sadly agree that if in a open relationship when one desires to call it quits it would seem only right to stop the whole game. Now it sucks when only one got to play and kinda mega BS when she did it when she said she would not but since you had agreed to forgive her it would be kinda fucked up on your part to go back on it. Would sorta make you as fucked up as her (even if it would feel good inside to you). Dont do it, if you forgive her (your a pretty great guy if you can) then hold respect for your own word and push on with the woman you have now and enjoy life, close that chapter in your book and move on. If your the type you could always use it as a get out of jail free card in later years when she walks into your office and you have your perky little assistant on your desk, LOL Okay sorry my bad.
