multi-grain bread found to improve guitar playing skills!

multi-grain bread found to improve guitar playing skills! ever wondered how you could improve your skills without practicing or knowing how to read music? well the answer is simple. studies have shown that if you stand outside with a guitar in front of a bush and eat some multi-grain bread that your guitar playing skills will become so great as to make the bush quiver (this goes for the ladies too, if ya know what i mean) anyway, if the bush doesnt start to quiver dont give up! that just means you havent eaten enough bread yet. eat a few more slices (or loaves) depending on how crappy and talentless you are and be amazed as the bush begins to shake right before your very eyes! now you may be wondering what the hell is in multi-grain bread that makes me play so well that the very bushes quiver with excitement in my presents? well its simple, the "magic" if you will, is in the grains! ya see what the bread makers do is take very intense serveys of what type of bread hippies consume most, turned out that it was multi-grain so they set to wok making the worlds finest talent bread! first they add a little LSD then a generous dollop of crack, crystal meth, and just a little bucket of hash. then they bake it up all nice and warm and slap an organic sticker on it(so they know the hippies will buy it). once you and your lame ass friends consume this wonderful bread you will all beleive that you are better guitar players! you think the bushes are shaking because of you (couldnt be the wind) and then without warning many will beleive that lightening is blasting forth from their out of tune instument. and there you have it, the magic behind morons, multi-grain bread, and guitar music ( if you can call it that).
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Yay! Meth bread!!!


Wouldn't that be a bit costly though?

 

ergot?