Fed up of my Dad

Even though he hasn't done anything wrong, and been a good Dad and everything, I don't like him as a man or person, because he isn't like my mum and can be grumpy at times.

I am sick of having a middle-aged man around the place, and even though he bought me a new laptop for Christmas, I aint interested, and to be honest, i'd rather him kept his distance and not had anything more to do with me. The PC that I use daily is his, and seems as i'm 18 now, any fall-out with him will result in my being thrown out if I went too far.

I hate it when there's a middle-aged man above me, being the main man and trying to be my Dad, and to be honest, I don't need any Dad anymore, and I don't love or respect him, as i'm sick of the sight of him - He quite his 5 day a week job two years ago, and I wish he'd just go away.

My two older sisters and younger brother don't feel like this, but I do, and have done for quite some time, so it isn't some knee-jerk reaction, and i've thought about whether or not to mention this on this forum, and this may be on a public forum, and i've been quite hesistant about coming out with this, but please understand.

I've felt this way for 2-3 years, but it's doing my head in now more than ever, and maybe there's just too much togetherness.

I need my mum more, and love her more, and she's more important and does a lot more for me and the family in general, such as buy the food from the supermarket, ironing, washing etc.

I've thought about what I wouldn't prefer, such as a worse Dad that was violent and had a drink problem. Also, i've thought about what's at stake if he left, and how it would affect my family.

My mum would lose a husband, my brothers and sisters and myself a Dad, my nephews and niece a grandad, my uncles and aunties a brother and my grandparents a son.

I've thought about how my mum would cope, and whether she'd struggle to hold things together or not, or whether she'd take things out on other people.

I've also thought about what my mum would end up doing, such as if she'd start going off with boyfriends or meeting blokes down the pub, and i'd be worried that a bloke would hurt her or be unfaithful to her, and if he was worse than my Dad.

My Dad is a good Dad, but I don't like him as a man if you get what I mean, and I don't need protecting or being bought things - I'd rather him kept his distance and backed off.

He's not nice when he shouts, and if anything happened to my mum and I only had my Dad left, I don't know how me and my brother would cope, as he wouldn't buy the food we like, and he can't do things as good as my mum does or the things that only mums can do.

One morning, my Dad was grouting the bathroom floor tiles, and he told me not to stand on them, but later on, I went in there and brushed my teeth, simply because I couldn't help myself, so he said that he told me once (this was weeks ago before Christmas) and told me to "GET OFF THE FUCKING TILES!!!" and I hated being spoken to like that, and although I deserved having a go at, I don't like him, and he gets wound up more easily than me mum.

Also, he isn't the sort of person that you can talk to and have a conversation with, and he'd probably flip if he strongly disagreed with something, and he isn't understanding or anything like my mum and he's the opposite of her.

I've obviously thought about what would happen if he left, so i'm not unaware of the consequences.

If he was no longer around, i'd have to get a job and do my bit to help out, and it'd probably improve my relationship with my mum, as i'd have to be more responsible.

I look more like my mum than my Dad, and I get on with her much better and I prefer talking to her more than my Dad - The counsellor who I spoken to last July/August said that most lads from who he spoken to preferred talking to their mothers rather than their fathers.

Whoever replied to this, please DON'T tell me about family counselling or anything because I ain't interested, and I DON'T even want to bond with my Dad or anything.


Does anyone understand where i'm coming from?

 

Well its not your decision if he stays or goes so don't worry about it. You are living in his house for free. The only solutions are to deal with it or move out. So decide between these two. If you decide to stay then treat him with respect and move out when you can.

I don't blame him here. I would be pissed if I worked on something a long time and then someone walked on it after I told them not to. If you don't like being yelled out then do what you are asked the first time when he asked nicely.

I think a lot of people feel closer to one parent or another. No big deal.

 

maybe he got you a laptop so you'd stop using his computer.
I say move out if you don't want him around.

 

Well to tell you the truth, I don't spend much time with my family, and I don't sit downstairs at night WITH my parents watching the TV, as i'd rather not and I don't want to get in their way and i'd rather keep my distance.

Also, on either 7th or 15 March this year, the internet will be cut off because my Dad has subscribed to this Orange Broadband (some new internet wireless connection), so for at least a fortnight, I won't be able to use it.


I personally would struggle to live without a PC for a day, and I go on every single day and go on it all night, until 2:30am.

I guess you can say that the PC is my life, and I personally don't want to have sit downstairs with my parents then and watch TV or talk to them, as I don't want them to do my head in and start talking, softening me up and trying to bond.

The internet is still available for the next 4 weeks at least, but after that i'll be dreading it - The only alternative I can think of is if I went on my laptop in my parents room and sat there quietly with the door closed, and come off the laptop when they go to bed and that'd be for at least a fortnight.

I'd struggle to live without a PC for a day, and I would find it a lot harder to live without that than a TV.

 

He did discuss the laptop thing with me months before buying it, and I told him how it would be too expensive etc, but he said that he'd buy it me because i'm his son.

This wireless internet connection would work for my laptop as well, which is the whole reason because him getting it, and also, there is a downside with this new connection because it may not always work and they'd have to be a connection available in order to get on it, meaning that it wouldn't work every time, and I personally don't want this change or new connection, and rather things stay as they are.

 

I'd like to move out one day, but i'm only 18 and still in college and not even a part time job will be good enough because I wouldn't get as much money as i'd like, and it's like earning peanuts.

I'm not surprised you said this Haid, and I just you OR someone else would say it - My two older sisters have moved out, and i'd like to do so soon, but I need to learn to do household chores such as washing, ironing, cooking etc, but i'd never master the cooking, and i'm too scared of burning myself, so it's microwaveable meals for me.

I've never lit a match in my life, and i'd rather die than be asked to do that.

Then of course I could get driving lessons if I wanted to, but i'd probably get frustrated, mess things up and if the time comes to driving on the motorway, i'd be anxious and feel on edge and i'd probably end up dead in a car crash.

I just can't cope with all of this!!!

 

thea expenses when you move out are so expensive. your looking at about 1000 a month + love your parents for what they do for you not what they have done in the past.


Rent
Bills
Groceries
other:
debt

 

dude, chris, smoke some dope. chill the fuck out.

 

Just a few minutes ago, I went downstairs and tried just a drop of vodka in a small glass, and it was strong stuff and really surprised me, and it was a real stimulant without a doubt - I only tried a drop because it was strong stuff.

My Dad came into the kitchen, and he asked me why I didn't ask him to get me beer when he offered to go earlier, and I just said because I didn't want him to, and he watched me as I poured the drop in and drank it and it was strong and I got a drink of water and drank it to get rid of the taste.

He then told me to stop being so stubborn and how he was trying to help me and how pissed off her is with me being stubborn, and how I don't know it all and how an 18yr old shouldn't be drinking such strong stuff - I told him that he was interfering and how he should just let me do things on my own and stay out my way.

Before I poured the drop in, he said to me how if I wanted to, I should drink the lot and get pissed, but I said that i'm not going to be stupid and just try a little bit and see if I like it or not.

It's as if he's treating me like a kid and i'm fucking sick of it - I'm sick of patronising gits, and I don't give a shit if he's my father, but i'm 18 and old enough to stand on my own two feet!!!

I may not be as experienced as him, but how else do you gain experience? - I don't need some smartarse or someone who thinks he knows everything telling me what's what.

He MAY HAVE made the same mistakes as I did when he was younger, and he can piss off for all I care because i'm sick of him.

He isn't some sort of expert, and I don't care if i'm being stubborn, but he really is sticking his nose in - Just who the fuck does he think he is!!???


I don't need some adult interfering, treating me like a kid and telling me what to do.

 

Whoa, it sounds like you have problems bigger than disliking your father.. honestly in all your posts, you sound pathetic and needy, and you didn't give any good reasons for not liking pops

You say you want your father to stop treating you like a kid.. afterall, you're 18. But you've never lighted a MATCH before? You are afraid to COOK, because you 'might' burn yourself?

You're afraid to learn to drive because you 'might' die in a car crash (better not sit in a car as a passenger, either.._

You're freaking out because there will be no internet at home for a few weeks (or if you need to use it, you'll have to go into your parents room..)


I honestly can't see anything wrong with your father, from your posts but you have serious issues, no offense.


Do you by chance listen to emo music?

 

You need to read your own posts, dude. You sound like a whiny baby. You say you're old enough to stand on your own two feet? But you also said in another post you can't cook, clean, LIGHT A FUCKING MATCH, drive, etc. Dare I ask who wipes your ass?


You need to grow up. Move out of your parents house, it seems your parents pamper you too much.

 

What do you mean Pops?

Well my father hasn't got anything wrong with him, you're right Chai, but it's me that has got the problem with him and i'm fed up of him.

NO, I DON'T listen to emotional music.

 

I've read my own posts Chai, and although they may sound and come across as whiny, you do understand how I feel and where i'm coming from don't you?

Also, there's no way i'd even THINK about lighting match, or driving lessons and making a fool of myself.

I do things for myself you know, such as get up, wash myself, dress myself, feed myself etc, so it's not as if i'm incapable.

I agree that i've got some growing up to do, and if i'm to do that successfully, me moving out would be the best option.

Believe you me, i've thought about it, and if I did move out, i'd go to bed at more sensible times and get up at more sensible times.

I usually go to bed at 3:00am every night and get up at 2:30pm the next day, because I don't want to get up early and have loads of spare hours - This is on days OFF, NOT on college days.

My Dad really pisses me off, and this afternoon, I got my breakfast at 4:00pm, and at the moment it's 5:34pm over in the UK - He said about me being up all night and sleeping all day, and how he should call me a vampire or Dracula, but I just told him to shut up.

Back in 2005 when I last got forced to go on a family holiday at 16yrs old, mainly because I had no choice in the matter, I complained as soon as I got to the caravan about how I wanted to stay at home on my own, but my Dad told me how I was incapable of making my own decisions (honestly, it makes my bloody blood boil and angry as I write that out!!!), and i'm not incapable, apart from being able to lock the door at night, and do my own washing, and I can decide for myself, so what the fuck is he on about!!???

I'm surprised no-one has ever lashed out at him at some stage or threatened to kill him, and there are times when I could just throttle him.

Like i've said previously, i'm sick of the man, and he really makes my bloody blood boil!!!


If I ever see his face in my mind, it makes me angry, and I just can't stand him at all - I detest him and all lads/men.

If one of my parents was to die one day, I hope that he goes first, and if it was the other way around, i'd let my Dad know what I really think and how I wished it was him and not mum, and that he is nothing like my mum personality wise or as a parent, and how he's not likeable.

The only things I need my Dad for is for a lift in the car if I needed to go somewhere, or if I fell ill and needed to go hospital, but i'm always careful and never careless.

I'm never going to be able to live a happy life whilst i'm in his shadow and he's up above me - The day he's no longer around or just simply out of my life, the happier i'll feel.

I won't be surprised if I end up lashing out at him one day or hitting him because he deserves it.

He's around too much, and since he quit his 5 day a week job in 2005, he just sits around at home, with my mum the one in the household that works for a living.

I mean my Dad has got his own "Property Maintenance and Supply" business, but he only ever does jobs in it whenever someone makes a phone call and asks to have a job done on a specific day, when he'll then go and do whatever job that is.

 

Chris : Grow up. If you are living under your fathers roof and eating at his table,
you play by his rules. If you don't like it then hit the fucking road and make your rules.
Better yet join the army and tell your top Sergeant how life is shit and things are just not right. Boy, you will wind up up with a lot of upper body strength from all the push-ups you'll be doing.
Stop bitch'in and grow up, nobody likes a wimp..
...........................father of 4......Alaskan...................

 

Back in 2005 when I last got forced to go on a family holiday at 16yrs old, mainly because I had no choice in the matter, I complained as soon as I got to the caravan about how I wanted to stay at home on my own, but my Dad told me how I was incapable of making my own decisions (honestly, it makes my bloody blood boil and angry as I write that out!!!), and i'm not incapable, apart from being able to lock the door at night, and do my own washing, and I can decide for myself, so what the fuck is he on about!!???



Be thankful he wanted to take you on a outing. Theres many families that cannot afford a VK. As for your whining give it up act your age and stand on your own two feet. I can't ever say thats i have ever came across a 18 yr old as whiny as you. I am a mother of 2 and they are more well mannered than you. You have 1 mother and 1 father and after they die? Who's left to help support you???

Think about that ?
Really?
Make any sense?
Life is precious Doesn't matter if you grew up in a shity enviroment or not life goes on forgive and live on!!
Make changes in your life. Stop blaming other ppl and look at yourself

 

Chris:


Posted before and have to say I didn't digest all your complaints. I have since re-read you posts twice. I admit I was wrong.
Don't think the army is the answer, doubt they would take you in the army. Maybe the Salvation Army might give you a bunk and a bowl of soup, but don't whine or they will muck your ass out.
Now for college, you've said you stay up until 2:30-3:00AM. and sleep until the late afternoon. Breakfast at 4 PM., so where in this busy day of yours do you find time to attend classes?
Mum buys the foods you like, you drink your dads liquor, you are cooked for
(because you might burn yourself), haven't figured out how to use a washing machine, wont learn how to drive ( because you are afraid of a accident ).
Dad bought you a laptop for Christmas and now that S.O.B. changing ISP's
and you will have to sit their room to use your laptop, oh god, I can see your dilemma.
Chris why don't you PM me and give me your Dads name and phone # and I'll give him a call and straighten him out for you.
...................................Alaskan.....Dennis.....

 

I don't want to go to some Salvation Army and put up with the unpleasantness!!!

The only busy days I have are college days, which are:-
Monday - Start at 8:45am and Finish at 3:00pm

Tuesday - Start at 9:00am and Finish at 5:00pm

Wednesday (I have a single one-to-one lesson with my tutor just to catch up
on my work by myself) - Start at 10:00am and Finish at 12:00pm

Friday - Start at 10:00am and Finish at 4:00pm

I still haven't figured out how to use a washing machine - No.

I personally DON'T want to PM you Alaskan, and I DON'T want you giving him or any of my family shit or pestering with phone calls, and i'm not stupid enough to give out his name or phone number!!! - YOU'RE NOT HAVING THEM!!!


Also, I know what you're really thinking, and you think that i'm being ridiculous don't you?

 

i'm sorry but i started IRONING at 12 WASHING at 12 and dishes at 8 years old. I started cooking at 15 with help due to certain circumstances in my life, but i still had 3 jobs and went to school part time at 19. I was graduated at 17. Tell me no more excuses. It can be done.

To use the washer theres whites lites and darks


Darks go in cold
Whites go in hot with bleach
put it to the time you want
Pop it in the dryer for 60 min
done! boom fold them
Simple

 

First, nice to meet you Poem-Girl.

Chris: No I wasn't expecting a PM with your dad's phone number.
and yes ,you are ridiculous.
To know where I'm coming from you have to know where I'm coming from.

My dad passed away six days after my eleventh birthday, since we were renters, could not longer afford the house so mom and me had to move into a small apartment.
My mom had been working part-time at a local doctors office and after dad died she went to full time. At eleven the only work I could get was a paper route.
The paper had a morning and afternoon edition. So at 5 am I would roll out, go pick up my papers, fold and deliver 103 papers. Then after school I did it all over again.
At age 14 I got a work permit, had to keep my grades up to keep it, so I got a job at a Nursing home. Dish washer, potato peeler, unloader of trucks, etc...
That summer I got to get away from the dish washer, I got work for my mom's cousin, in construction. Because of my age and lack of any skills, I was placed in charge of unloading the flat bed trucks (LORRIES) loaded with 90 lb.
bags of concrete. In charge is a overstatement, I was the only one in the dept.
The next fall, I lied about my age and got job at a small pallet factory, I got off school at 3:20 pm and had to be at work at 4 pm. This was before they had air powered or electric nailer's. Every nail was set with a 16 oz. hammer.
The day after I graduated high school, age 17, I left home and moved to Alaska.
At age 19 I was drafted into the army and spent a tour in Viet Nam. Upon discharge I've raised a family, put myself through college, built a home and have 4 children I am proud of.
Sorry lifes been so hard on you................Dennis.....Alaskan.....