Hey guys, Well I really enjoy these forum bords and i check them out frequently. My dellema is pretty complex and it's kind of a long story, with alot of useless drama and other BS. So my dad is crazy, he is an evangelical and last night via email we got into a cock fight (haven't lived with him for a year and a half) and we were exchanging emails. Untill finally i lost all my dissapline and told him i hated him and his religion. Well he hasn't emailed me back and i dont know what to do about that. He was a real prick treated my mom and my brother and to some extent me like an asshole all the time. My other problem is that i knew this girl in elementary school and up till high school. I left for college this year because i was one of those introverts or outcasts, they were all led around by their bush loving parents. Well i thought i could trust her and somehow i ended up telling her some of my secerts, like my father for one. All i got was one measly line asking about something, it's been about 2 weeks since then. I feel like she played me and for all i know told everyone. When i say everyone don't ask, so now i just wish the phone would ring and someone would want to talk to me but nothing has happened, not at college not anyware. It feels like i just go to school and go home. I have no girls in my life, and barely any friends. I have one guy i know from high school there. I don't think this is a big deal but i have never had a girlfriend ether. I just got to the point in my guitar playing that i can improvise really good so i am going to get a mini amp and just start playing in public. Hopefully it will pay off for me, and if not then some asshole will put a bullet in my F**king skull and end it all. Life sucks
Just be happy that you have what many people can only dream to have, like a house, safe food and water to eat and drink, the reassurance that you most likely won't be mugged as you walk down the street, a high-school diploma, a potential college education, and the fact that you really do have a good life but just don't realize it yet.
Yea i know, I should be more grateful. It's just hard when you turn on the T.V to something like say MTV. Then you see all these whinny teenagers, when you have been though so much worse then other people. Crying over popularity, not getting enough for their "super sweet 16" makes me sick. I judged no-one, but i know they talked about me behind my back. If you ask me that particular religion makes people dumber, no wonder we are going to be taken by china soon. We may have nukes but we are losing our best and brightest to iggnorant, arrogants SOB's like jerry fallwell. Battlecry.org hahahaha, i seem like i'm the only teen who can see though all that nonsence. I like to rant because my opinions and religious views are unpopular, maybe that is why i am so alone.
Yeah, society definitely sucks, but that taint from society doesn't make humanity any less beautiful (at least in my eyes). I find that my views on life are counter to many people's views as well, but it doesn't seem to impact my life at all. If people have a problem with my views on life, they need to deal with it. The right to free speech wasn't designed to protect popular beliefs, it was designed to protect those that are unpopular. People that can't handle that need to get over themselves. And from what you've written, that seems to be the case. Don't let it get to you, they're no better or worse than you, because they are your equal. No more, no less. No worries, you'll find people that you can affiliate yourself with eventually. Best of luck to ya!
Personally I dont think anyone should stifle your rage. Let it out man if you feel it. Once you let it out negatively, you will understand rage and understand how to express it positively. Rage is just energy that needs channelling its ok to feel it, in fact its like rocket fuel when expressed properly. Then under the rage there may be sadness, thats ok too you will learn how to express that also its normal. Keep rocking on friend and dont let anyone repress your reality!
