Is it just me or is it anytime men are faced with conflict they say, "I didn't do anything". This is my hugest pet peeve. 1) If I'm upset, you probably did something. 2) I feel like it insults my intelligence, like yea I saw you did something and now it's like your calling me a liar, unclaiming it. Are all men like this or just the ones I come across? When I get an apology followed by "I didn't do anything" it fucking slaps the apology right out of my universe and pisses me off more than before. My boyfriends now pissed I'm not accepting his apology, and he's actually wondering why. I've told him now and a million times before why it's pointless, insulting and stupid to apologize and then say you didn't do anything. It's like he's an idiot and I can't get through. I love him, but right now I hate him, and he broke my dresser drawer raging over this shit, and spilt my vegetarian chilli I was making for him. WTF
It sounds EXTREMELY frustrating, like he doesn't value your feelings. Luckily i've never come accross a guy who does this. Sorry but i don't think i can help. Maybe just try to explain to him again why you're upset and hopefully he'll get it. Guys..some,not all...seem to have a real hard time understanding a womans point of view.
We worked it out he says he understands... He actually took the inititive to work it out with me! big step. I was very amazed and very happy about it! Usually I have to hold him down and make him listen to my feelings... Now if I never have to hear those words again... I'll be very happy
Guys are essentially clueless, and need real communication from their women to let them know something is wrong. They look at things from a male point of view, and don't see the female perspective easily. You need to help us be more understanding of how the female works. But do it nicely.
I think this is Oprah/Dr. Phil pop psychology bullshit. Women are pretty clueless as well, let me tell you. It's a PC fad nowadays to put women on a pedestal and debase men. The reason why we're generally clueless in male-female relationships is because of gender roles.
Some individuals are essentially clueless, some are not. It has nothing to do with their sex, and making sweeping generalizations isn't going to change this fact.
Cutted doens't seem to be willing to let go of his dogma. Much like white guilt, the PC zeitgeist points to self-deprication and putting minorities on a pedestal. No wonder so many women think that men are put on Earth to cater to them, and worry solely about their needs, shower them with gifts, favors, free drinks, and restauranteering, and rides home...while women have only to sit passively and look pretty. Until we understand that gender roles (one of them being "the clueless guy") doesn't allow for mutuality, and, further, that the latter is the only road for emotional fulfillment in male-female relationships --we are slated to impoverished relationships and gender-based stereotypes and resentment. Thankfully, there are many women on this forum who think in more sophisticated terms than Cutted.
