This is the original outline for a film being produced by geckopelliproductions. It's designed to be a 12 minute short for entrance in to the Sarasota Film Festival. Many things have evolved since this outline was written- but we might as well start at the begining. THIS STORY IS REGISTERED WITH THE WGAe. (Registration # availible on request) SPACE SHIP (Now titled Command Decision) Ordinary World A space ship traveling between the Mars Colonies and Selene Station. Extraordinary World Disaster has struck, rendering all but a tiny portion of the ship uninhabitable. Five Survivors remain: 4 in an intact stateroom, and one isolated in the emergency control room, only a few steps away- but blocked by two air locks and the vacuum of space. Sarah Inner Need - To meet the demands of command, and to make-up for her cowardly behavior during the initial disaster. Perhaps to exceed her father's expectations. Back Story - Sarah is a junior officer on her maiden voyage, haunted by her failure to save anyone in the crew but himself- A failure brought about by indecision, a problem that plagues him even more so now that circumstances have thrust command upon him. Character Arc - Sarah steps up to the task and does her duty. She brings the ship into port by making hard decisions. Personality - Intelligent. Passive. Insecure. Indecisive. Joined the space navy to get away from a situation she couldn't handle at home. Sarah is young and knowledgable, but lacks self-confidence. She still angst over her failure to act decisively during the catastrophe, but dreams of successfully bringing the ship into port. Her transition to decisive and in control is the main story. Sarah's Helpers Chief Smith - Regular crew, but older and more experienced than Sarah. Controls all ships functions from emergency control room, where he lives in isolation. He spies on everybody, and is blackmailing Emily. He's a complete sleaze ball, but still space navy and continues to perform his daily duties. He defers to Sarah's rank, but is steadily growing more mutinous. He has something the others cannot access besides control- cookies. Chief Smith's discovery of a way to physically join the rest of the crew ignites the smoldering conflict. Antagonist Emily - A passenger, returning with her husband Simon from the Mars Colony. She's a grad student in psychology. Simon and Her had been working on their Doctorial Thesi. Emily was interested in the effects of alien environments on human creativity. She's conniving and manipulative, engaged in (and winning) a passive struggle for command with Sarah. She is also cheating on Simon with Dexter. Chief Smith is aware of this and is blackmailing her. Sarah is secretly aware of affair. Chief Smith - he's also an antagonist, because he is the main source of (open) conflict among the crew. Further, he's the Antagonist's Antagonist, as he is blackmailing Emily. Antagonist's Helpers Simon - A Passenger, returning from the Mars Colony with his wife, Emily. He's a grad student in physiology, interested in brain chemistry in an alien environment. He's a dupe, totally unaware of his Emily's cheating, but obsessed with the knowledge that Chief Smith spies on his Wife. He's awed by Dexter's celebrity status. Dexter - A Passenger, returning from the Mars Colony. A famous artist (musician?). The subject of Emily's and Simon's experiments. He's been having an affair with Emily since the trip out from earth. Has contempt for Simon, whom he considers a drooling idiot. FADE IN Beginning status of Sarah. Momentary shot - EXT. THE SHIP Heading for Selene Station. Sarah thrust into a tragic situation. INT. THE SHIP A flash of the initial disaster from Sarah's point of view. Sarah fails to save someone. 8 Months Later Day 1 Sarah either asking for, or getting advice. Chief Smith sends daily message at Sarah's order, "Space ship to Selene Station. SOS. We are requesting emergency pick-up". They discuss morale and Sarah orders/begs Chief Smith to "lay off the cameras" The Standard reply "Selene Station to Space Ship. Negative. Systems monitors show you adequately supplied and on course for rendez vous in 89 days, 4 hrs, 55 mins. Continue standard communication procedures. Selene Station out." Sarah starting adventure. Introduce others. Show that Chief Smith is a sleaze ball. Sarah in the middle of the adventure. Chief Smith discover he can survive vacuum long enough to make crossing and join others. Sarah's tests by Antagonist's Helpers. Sleep period - Mutinous behavior. Sarah tells of plan to bring Chief Smith over Day 2 INSERT - A MONITOR SCREEN The words are typed on screen as we watch. "Selene Station to Space Ship. Negative. Systems monitors show you adequately supplied and on course for rendez vous in 88 days, 4 hrs, 55 mins. Continue standard communication procedures. Selene Station out." Sarah's tests by Antagonist. Emily suggest alternate plan- "let's not open the door." Secret motive is to end blackmail. Sarah in trouble. Open defiance of Sarah. Sarah's discovery of maturity. Transformation. Sarah finally knows her duty. Attempt by Antagonist to make Sarah conform. Mutiny. Sarah outwits the Antagonist. Sarah puts down mutiny with pistol. She kills Chief Smith "for my reasons- not yours". Exposes Emily's and Dexter's affair. Blows emergency hatch, killing all three. She steps into air-lock and makes exposed crossing back to control room. Day 3 Final status of Sarah. Kicks back in Emergency Control Room and sends daily message. INSERT - A MONITOR SCREEN The words are typed on screen as we watch. "Space Ship to Selene Station. All's well. See you in 87 days, 4 hrs, 55 mins." Sarah eats a cookie. FADE OUT Comments? Opinions? Questions? ---------------------- www.geckopelliproductions.com
This would be a great little short. 20 years ago. As one of the three stories featured on the weekly tv series 'The New Twilight Zone'. TNTZ kinda sucked balls but your story would have worked just fine in the 1985 genre and expectations of the programme. It reminds me of one of their episodes where a space priest and a space athiest are travelling through the galaxy in some near future time. The space atheist finds a dead star. He calculates that the star must have gone supernova on... Dec 25th year 0. The SpacePriest is 'devastated'. Oh no.. its seems that science and discovery have proven that they shepards actually saw a bright star in the sky. WTF? Ya isnt that EXACTLY right you moronic writers. Worst writing ever. But anyways, I have no idea what your 80s story is supposed to prove or do either but its a helluva lot better than that stupid new twilight zone episode. *duly noted: The original Twilight Zone is fucking awesome TV!
from reading it - well it just looks like the plot to every bad hollywood sci fi film thats ever been on telly. Maybe you could oomph it up by having a kangaroo, named Albert, that plays the eukeleli and solves the mystery for the main protagonist. This would then give you access to the disney maket and make it a cult classic. and the main protagonist should go everywhere on the back of a Yak called Mike, to give mike some credibility and dimension, he could have a part time job as a pianist in a jazz bar - a piano playing yak story would be good he could neet up with Albert the Eukeleli playing kangaroo that solves mysteries, a sort of "son of skippy" type of film but featuring a yak
could be I think a subliminal yak was seen in that film But in truth I think the alien film used a Badger called "Morris" that had a penchant for sadomasochistic porn films and drunk neat vodka If you look closely you can see him in nearly every shot where the alien is involved
Well now that I see the great writing (above quote) then I change my mind. Anyone who can find a way to use "I'd not waste" and both the terms 'Plebs' and 'Dweebs'... oh thats gold. You know what really would be a great story - Plebs and Dweebs in Space. Have them speak like "I'd waste not my spaceplays on you, Dweeb" and make the Plebs have a sort of 'Greco-Roman' look about them. But a Space-Greco look. You can have that! Its yours.. free.
Dr Geckelak: If it twasnt for my pitty upon you, I would have have you phasered for being such a Dweeb. Professor Jane Guest: You put me in my place oh wise champion, I am but a Plebian. Dr. Geckelak: Blechhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh (vomits space bile from his gon-tar) Fade out.
