What do you want for yourself before the end of the year?

What do you want your life to be like before this year is over??? What changes would you like to see???

 

All I really want now is a joint.

 

be down to about 215 - i'm well on my way, but getting held up with an ankle sprain is not helping much

 

Made love to Indian Summer.

Eat French Toast.

Um, make love to frech toast?

 

hahaha i can make french toast :tongue: haha

i want to have seen more of this world than i have, and hopefully be on my way out on my own..i'd really like to have my own place

 

i'd like a nanny and a new skill. i wanna go back to school next fall.

 

to enjoy all the traveling i have planned to do this coming summer

 

Lose about 35 more pounds. Not be smoking. Have some money saved up and basically still be doing the positive things I'm doing now. : )

 

to pass all my classes
to find a job I like that pays decent and gives me decent hours
to find someone I can fall in love with

 

I have no idea...I'll probably come up with something by December 31st and realize that it's too goddamn late

 

I would love to live closer to work, to not take my summers and winter breaks off from work for granted and use the time to visit new countries and not just lounge on the beach here where I am comftrable, to be a morning person and to be able to run a marathon...or maybe a half one ...I look at where I was this time last year. I was so unhappy and always sick and always whining about being sick, was in bad relationships, was in a horrible work enviorment. If in a year from now I can better myself the same amount I have this past year I will be more than pleased.

 

I want to do some travelling ,find a girlfriend and get my house built

 

to have a car..*sighs and looks into nothingness*

 

what i want for myself is simultaniously both simple and perhapse almost unimmaginable; and that is both a lack of barriers to creating and exploring and a complete freedom from any and all rational basis for anxiety.

this in tern however, i cannot see as existing without such an environment being either universeal, or at least open ended. and i see no natural barriers as to the possibility of this either. only obsticals placed in its way by those wishing to agrandise themselves at the expense of others on the presumtions of gratifying their own thoughtless and short sighted egos.

what i would like my life to be like has nothing to do with this year or any other year. nor do i see how chainges i would like to see, how wanting some or another particular thing to be within the compass of my unlimited access to and use of it, quite constitutes a "change" in ANY thing.

chainge and personal want thus being entirely seperate questions that i cannot see as otherwise.

i'm ALMOST sure what is being asked for is my shopping list of desires. but i must protest the subtext of "chainges would you like to see" thoroughly muddies that otherwise simple question, and instead reaises broader and more universal ones.

my nearest and dearest personal desire is precisely that more universal one.
and not out of love or persuit of sainthood or any sort of arbitrary altruism but precisely as my own very nearest and dearist personal gratification and desire.

there are of course things under the existing conditions i can easily immagine MIGHT increase my personal access to the conditions it is my wish to desire. i don't feel any of them can be entirely counted upon to do so.

there really is a rather long and detailed list. it does, however, begin in simplest terms, with a place, such as might be sufficient, to not merely store, but actualy use, such items. thus the lawfully and relatively unlimited use, of a chunk of land of somewhere between five and twenty acres.

a much large acrage to share with a community of my immagination's devising, open to all of a nonhurtful spirit would of course be equaly welcome.

that established such items as wind/solar energy systems to provide a reliable independence from the greater ambience to go with the greater if not the more intimate.

cnc milling machines, sterio lithography tanks, even injection molding apparatus, provided the existence of rapid prototyping to make molds and forms for it.

little things like a broadband connection and some sort of uber workstation platform to run my illustration and design software on, and a considerable expansion and enhancement of that as well.

in general, the kinds of toys that would give me the greatest gratification, are of that sort. next comes trains trains trains. where models are concerned, those of japanese prototype, especialy multiple unit passinger equipment, and all that is associated with it. for those large enough to actualy ride on and provide some sort of real world transport, those need not be models at all, but rather optimaly suited to their purpose.
battery powered, with onboard solar charging. like those solar 'cars' you see university engineering students competing to design, but instead propelling systems on very narrow gauge guideways.

i would also like to live someplace, not surrounded by pavement, and where there would be no restriction as to what sort of comensal life forms i might then share my life with.

=^^=
.../\...

 

That would be great. Sometimes I feel like I am constantly running from anxiety. But the direction i am running to causes more and more anxiety.

 

I want a better job, to live on my own, pass all of my classes and get this college thing over and done with. Send my portfolio to different art schools. Hmmm.......maybe even start dating again.

 

I'd like to see my business improve saleswise... other than that, I'm pretty happy with all that's going on.