My 13 year old sister was found drunk...

I'm not telling you to be lenient, like I said... talk it out... what I am telling you is not to be aggressive.

 

I won't, but it seems that talking isn't doing anything either.

I'll keep trying, but now she is locked in her room and won't let me talk.

I'm going to go try again.

 

Let her cool off too... she probably has a lot racing through her mind as it is. 13 year olds usually start drinking for a reason... it's a young age. Try to figure out why she chose to drink.

 

yea, when she's calm and not drunk is the best time to talk to her. not when she's angry and hating everyone. i know...my sister is a fiery redhead and when she was in her teen years with the drinking, it was hard talking to her when she was pissed off. just couldn't do it.

let her calm down, let her think some, then talk to her. dont' come down as a hard ass...you're her sister...help her realize through your mistakes that drinking to that point where she lays in her puke is very dangerous.

 

so better to provide all the alcohol they want in the house, yes?

Maybe house arrest wouldn't solve it but some folks do need a stricter hand than others.

 

If Steve Erkle would have said "Did I saaaaay that?" instead of "Did I doooo that?", then I would have quoted him right now.

 

kids will find alcohol...its not hard....my parents pulled that shit when i was a teen, getting rid of all the alcohol...well what did we do...we broke into liqour stores and got the damn alcohol ourselves.

what parents need to do is teach responsible drinking at an early age - my parents did once they realized that ridding the house of alcohol was useless in terms of curbing the drinking of my friends and i.

 

hey, as the elder sister of a totally insane baby sister, your mom's attitude is the right road to take. 'overdramatizing" this episode (i know, sounds like utter bs) just makes it that much more impossible for your lil sis to open up for you. my baby sis had any amount of trouble, it's not the end of the road. she's fantastic. she just had some serious shit to deal with. btw, the first time i got hammered, i was 10.and i'm most fine. so far as i'm concerned, mostly fine is the best most people can hope for.

 

OH!!! totally forgot to mention that when my parents got married, i got "accidentally" hammered at their wedding reception and stumbled to the family sedan and totally crashed in the the back seat/floor area. my dad took the pics to prove it. i was 9.

 

why don't you relax and stop badgering her right now, you are doing more harm than good...

 

My advice is to let her cool down, (and you too) before you try and talk about it.

For just a second, try to think about positive aspects that could come out of a thirteen year old passing out in a puddle of their own vomit. ( It happened to me several times)

Maybe a respect for their own limits that most people take a lot of time to develop.

Then try and look at your sister. Instead of talking to her to change her actions, try to talk to her to explain you care for her and are concerned about her.

You can't change peoples actions. Your sisters thirteen, she's her own person. She's not an adult, but shes going to make her own choices. If you try to guide her in a good path because you love her...

If you love her, but try to force her, she could be looking at your actions as an attempt to impede her development.

You're not going to win this one by fighting. Give her a chance to sober up, think about what you want to say, and tommorow morning, when you wake up, give your sister a hug.

 

I let her cool down for awhile and then went and talked to her.

I told her that I loved her and gave her a hug and said how much she scared me. I told her a few stories about my past problems with drugs and alcohol and also gave her examples of our mother's past mistakes.

I told her I just wanted the best for her and I understand that things happen.

I hugged her again and we cried for awhile.

I told her how I am afraid for her and that I hope she makes good choices and how the bad choices she makes can affect her future.

Then I said that if anything ever happened to her, I don't know what I'd do.

I also said that if this ever happens again........well.......I don't think I'd be as nice.

I told her she was going to be grounded and she accepted it without too much fuss.

I just hope everything will be okay...

 

A 13 year old girl got me drunk once, of course I was also 13, and I got in a helluva lot more trouble than she did.

 

Sounds like you did the best thing for her.

 

Thanks, that's what I am hoping.

Your posts helped.

Oh, and I love your sig.

What is that from?

 

It's a Way Out West song.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HxVABxfzTkY

 

Can you show her -- ala Ghost of Christmas Future -- some of the losers who wasted their childhood? I know seeing what could happen to me if I continued fuckin around helped me get on track. From what I can tell, most of the things you say to 13 year old goes in one ear and out the other.

 

Awesome. I usually am not too fond of female singers, but that was beautiful.

Seems I am uncovering new music constantly these days...

 

Oh yes. Too bad this isn't a Dickens novel.

I did tell a few horror stories from my days as an avid drinker/drugger.

I hope at least a few of the words I said stick in her head.

Otherwise, I'm going to have to stick a cork in one of those ears.

 

I think its extremely rude for some of you to pass it off like its nothing and then mention artists and writers.

I dont think any of you, who said shit like that (not going to mention names) ever went through a family member who had a hardcore drinking problem. its not right for a 13 year old to be almost choking on her own vomit, and having his/her pants around their knees. I went through that with another family member, and its embarrassing, to say the least.

have some compassion.

its not a fucking joke, as you make it out to be.