I was one of those guys. I donno, the thought of being tied to one girl, having to meet her family, constantly staying in touch with her, well....it can just be scary. Over the last few years, I've liked a few different girls, and everytime I thought one of them liked me back, I'd ignore them...for long enough that they'd leave me alone. The thought of being committed to a girl scared the shit out of me. I did however get over it, I've been dating a girl for 4 months now and couldn't be happier. I guess it was easy getting into this relationship with her because she didn't force me to do anything, she didn't rush into it. Before we were "officially" dating, we had been fooling around with each other, and only each other, for a couple months. I guess this helped. Sorry if my post didn't help, I'm drunk and couldnt remember what I was talking about. Woops.
I can't tell ya, but I feel your pain. I've been in a few situations like this, and, well, I say to just leave him. If he can't see that he wants to be with you now, he most likely never will. He's probably just using you for a quick fuck or for an ego boost. Find someone willing to commit to you.
Well yes, but commitment is more than just not fucking other girls, although that's a big part of it.
I have given a lot of thought to this subject because I too am a part of the male species and have gone through the whole committment thing. In fact I was in a 4 year relationship that I thought for a while would lead to marriage. However, as things progressed, I continually had these feelings of doubt. No matter how manly or secure she made me feel. I felt and still feel like such an asshole for not just coming out and saying that Im not ready to be attached to one girl right now. I just drug her along as you put it. There were other factors contributing to the fact that we didnt stay together but it was mostly my non committal ways. Much of this debate I feel boils down to age and social concerns. At age 23 you are much more likely to find a man that wants to settle down and live for you, than at a younger age where the men you will date are still transitioning from teenager to young man status. I wish you only the best in your search for a life partner, and I would only suggest that you take things in stride. Life as a young person is tough enough by yourself, let alone trying to coordinate things with a significant other. Hey, maybe you should give thought to some older guys if emotional stability is what you are looking for. Im not saying its a norm, but in general we tend to have a better grasp on what we want out of life than younger guys. I know this may sound hypocritical coming from a 22 year old...but lets just say that age is only relative to maturity, and what I lack in years Ive learned through diverse life experience. Celebrate your youth
Oh yeah, dont forget about man's innate biological drive to procreate. During my relationship the main motivator behind my doubts was the multitude of women I saw and fantasized about. I didnt want her to be the only woman I ever experienced, with so many other "fish" in the sea. Ultimately we didnt mesh right anyways, so the other women issue wasnt the only thing, but it definitely didnt help. That helped you zero huh...well, one way to a man's heart is definitely through his stomach, I'll attest to that. Just be yourself, anything less or more is false advertising
I could easily ask the same thing about women. The male of the species does not have a monopoly on commitment fears. You're 17 darlin', so I assume your dating guys more or less the same age. Girls are just a big three-dimensional kelaidascope of tits and ass to boys at that age. Don't worry, you have a LONG time to find a boy that's interested in you and only you. (Well, 95% of the time anyway)
