No one knows what goes on in other peoples heads. Take me for example, everyone i know believes im happy, pretty outgoing, normal-ish, but not one of them knows who i really am. They think when i dont want to go out it's because im boring, I dont wear low cut tops and short skirts because my parents never let me, but its all bullshit. I dont go out because i dont like people, people screw you over, people dont care, i dont dress like my friends because when i look in the mirror i see fat, i see ugly. Non of them know, they dont know that ive always done anything just to be accepted and at the same time hate myself for not being who I want to be. i wish i could stand up to it and not care what others think but im not strong enough. Its all an illusion, everyday people play the game and dance the dance. Nothings real anymore. i think real love died when people stopped taking notice, people are so worried about fitting in themselves they dont notice other people, ironic really we spend so much time mind fucking other people we dont notice when people do it to us.
Wow the perfect way to word what EVERY teenager who has ever lived felt. Don't let it bug you, clam down, smoke some grass, and poof your a differnt person at 21, 25, 30 and so on.
people will screw you over if they feel threatened, and if you think about it, people will screw you over because they feel that other people will screw them over if they dont screw other people over first. so how do you begin to break that cycle? trust people.
ya, high schools a bitch like that. Thats why growing up is nice. Make sure you dont assume that because the people who constantly surround you dont care, then no one does. For example, iv never spoken to you, never seen you and never heard of you, but after reading your post i feel connected to you because i too have felt the same way. So you can tell yourself that no one understands and no one cares, but you fail to see that all around you, there are people who do know how you feel and may feel the same way as you do. The problem is that you keep it in, and no one sees it. So if other people are also doing that, then you dont see how they really feel ethier. The beauty in you is that you have found a way out, an opening, an outlet to share how you feel and find feedback from others who do care and do understand. Even more beautiful is that you not only found it, but have chosen to use it. Sadness, lonliness, and pain are emotions that should be expressed as openly as much as all other emotions, to hide behind a curtain of lies and false appearance is ugly. To express openly and honestly is beautiful. So far, you seem to be a beautiful, expressive, and also very self aware, high school girl, and i, of all people, care about you.
Thanks i feel better now i think i was just having a bad day, lol im not at high school anymore, im at college but yeh i get what you mean. much love xx
