His heart speaks, and it says he's in love with his best friend

So, this is the deal...
I have been with this guy for nearly a year.. and when we first met, i listened to his heart, just as he did mine.
And it spoke to me, it told me about how he loved his best friend.
This is the scene, new years eve and theres a big party, we get together as in we let each other know we like each other, and he takes me to meet his 'best friend'. I am introduced, and she is icy. distanced and unresponsive, he smiles at her, no beams.. and i get the feeling, from sitting beside him, that he is deeply in love with he.
Why is he introducing me to her like this.. moments after he has 'asked me out.'

anyway. i ask him, 'is this your secret love' becuase i am giventhe impression from my conciousness that this is the girl he truly loves, and that is why he is showing her to me.

so skip this stage and its months later. she comes around , with beer and smokes. and we all sit together and talk. she touches his leg flirtatiously.
this is to become somehting that happens quite frequently, on different occasions.
i wonder what their relationship is all about.

i find out that they got together breifly, but she called it off.

i get the feeling, from him, that he was deeply hurt. and still loves her.

whenever we speak about things that are close to our hearts, he becomes alive when he talks about her, his heart speks loudly about her, and she is deep within his heart.

when we first got together, he quizzed me about whther i would be cool about him having a best friend who is a girl.. of course not.. i thought,... WHY.. ?

the point is, why was he asking me this?, why did he say.. most girls wouldnt be cool with that.

i felt as though he was implying that there was more than meets the eye to their relationship , and wa si cool with THAT?


now im a woman, i know wat we are like.. we can have best friends who are male.. but ultimately, if you have a best feiend who i male, it is ususally down to this.. on some level, you know that he is madly in love with you, and he knows that you will never sleep with him. the point is, you value his love and devotion as a friend, but just dont wamnt to take it to the next level like he does.

when we go out, if it is me him and her.. [which doesnt happen often.. maybe every two months]

he is 'with' her. i am left feeling alone again.. it is quite simple.... he joins onto her.. and i am left feeling like a single person again.

now i ont mind this, but i do fin it strange.. and i do think that perhaps it is quite bizzare for me to be cool with this. im not a possesvie person.. but it goes something like this.. say you have a child.. and you go out somehwee, they suddenly seperate from you.. and go off with someon esle.

it is like this.. i am with my boyfriend unitl we are with her, then he is quite definately 'with' her.

and i am the one who is un away from.

it feels so strange. and the thing is, i know, in my heart of hearts, that he is in love with her. i once said this to a group of his friends and they didnt say anything, excpet look at me with alot of sympathy.. which seems to show, that they from the way they silnetly listened, that they all knew this as well, and felt sorry for me. toi have a boyfriend who is in love with his best friend.

also, dont you think your 'partner' should be your best friend?

whenevr he talks about her he gets all silly, like a child in a sweet shop, he blushes and it is just so obvious that he is in love with her.

he hs also told me that he loves and respects her more than me becuase she is his best friend.

i think that perhaps, although we have some kind of conection, that his heart lies with her, and that if she were to want to b with him, he would take no hesitation in getting rig#d of me, and going for his hearts desire.
the thing is, i love him and want to be his hearts desire.

but i fear i ma not.

please help me.

 

Many years ago, when I was not much older than you are, I was in love with two women at the same time. One was an ice princess, extraordinarily beautiful, and distant (which I found out was really because she was hard of hearing). She had left England because she was caught up in a scandal, and took refuge in D.C. The other woman was a Texas oilman's daughter, a Smithie, and we had wild sex together, but she was West Texas with an awful twang, and not nearly as pretty as the ice princess.

But I had a terrible time with the ice princess, who was so beautiful everyone wanted her, and I almost had to fight them off every time we went to a party. She really did not reciprocate my love, and I ultimately went to the other woman fulltime, because she really loved me. That could happen to you. Hang in there.

 

okay!, lol i don't mean to be rude or obnoxious but... he wrote a poem about her saying, that she taught him what was love and what was lust....basically, which is a nother blow, becuase it makes me think that he loves me for what i look like, and not who i am, whereas with her, he loves her primarily for who she is. the thing is they were have been best friends for years.
i also dont want to play games, i dont want to have to compete for his attention, or love. i just want things to be natrual.
but if he;s natruallly in love with his best friend, then i should really give myself some self respect and move on. im not gong to hang aorund waiting for him to fall for me, knowing that i'll always be second choice! the thing is, i do love him, but i see him more a s a borther and a fathe, so, it's a confusing enough realtionship to begin with. basically, he looks after me., by being with him, i stop any chances of making mistakes with other men. the only catch is i have to slepp with him. and i dont htin k thats amazngly good fo self esteem
how bizzare is this?.. i wnoder how i come across?,
do i come a cross as pathetic and morally draqined?!

please tell me!!!

 

It sounds like he is not having sex with her (maybe a little in the past, but she called it off, you said). They just pal around sometimes and found out that their friendship was not a sexual one, but a platonic one. Accept that.

I agree that the three of you should not go around together, because it makes you feel bad. He pays attention to her but not you.

Talk to him about your feelings. Maybe he is oblivious to your real feelings.

 

oh god no! i wouldnt be with somone who slept with someone else! it was before we got together, they had a go, and she decided she wasnt comfortable with it.... but i think he is still in love with her, and hoping that things will change with time. but im kind of hoping he will get over her. but sometimes guys fall fo a girl, and never really get over them ever. i think.
he always gets uptight whever i taLK ABOUT how i feel about what i precieve to be his true feelings, and he says im not allowing him to be feinds with her.. which is totally over the top. im just saying what i think i see he feels.
but the way he reacts makes me think even more that he really loves her.
id never try to stop them being freids, im just trying to tell him that it hurts me to see that he loves her. and i wish he would admit that, and be honist with me. so that i cna know where i stand, and whether to move on or not.
i wish he would be honist, but i think he is afarid o be honist becuase that will mean i will leave him.

does this sound realistic?