For the past couple of days i have become overwhelmed with the question of my own existance. The thought that i am just a meaningless drone with no true emotions just acting the way i am programmed to, has made me literally sick to my stomach, sick enought i have missed school over it. When i dont feel sick i just feel empty, because i feel like any feeling isnt 'real' just..... a script for me to follow. I cant keep being like this, i want to just give up... does anybody know of any books or anything that can deal with this...
Danny, I think we all go through some times like that, at some point in our lives, and it generally passes. I've come to the conclusion that everything we experience is real, because we've experienced it, but that just because it's real doesn't actually mean it's the way things are. It's simply what's real for us. And I'm happy with that for now. I can't really suggest any specific books for you, but you may want to try reading poetry that inspires you and opens your heart, reminds you of what is beautiful in existence in a way you can connect without having to do a lot of thinking and analysis about it. Nothing depressing. If you don't do it already, some type of meditation probably wouldn't hurt either. Hope that helps.
There is a book concerning free will called Consolation of Philosophy, by Boethius, but it’s boring. I’d better read in this state of mind something blithe, hilarious, unorthodox, erratic, even stupid in a good way… like this one, for example: http://www.ology.org/principia/body.html P. S. Just keep in mind that I am not a discordian, and therefore this post cannot be taken as a missionary act
sometimes growing spiritually is unpleasant, my friend. this state of mind is taking you somewhere higher-that's obvious. what you are experiencing is disillusionment. you're beginning to tear down the old illusions that clouded your sight. you must struggle to make progress from this point, but this is good. don't despair. stand up and fight the lethargy off. here's some books: Be Here Now-Baba Ramm Dass The Awakening of Intelligence-Krishnamurti Tales of Power, and The Art of Dreaming-Carlos Castaneda There are many more. If you want a better list, PM me. Search for the knowledge, and you shall find it.
read the bhagavad gita. the translation by a.c. bhaktivedanta swami prabhupada is called "bhagavad gita as it is". i've only read part of one other translation, but as far as i know this is the best. his purports are really nice and clear and aren't in the other versions. you don't really have to read it from start to finish; you can look things up in the back as they interest you or read at random. but if you got this book, or downloaded it online, i think it would help you a lot. another book to read when you feel like a meaningless blob is the little prince. i think everyone should own a copy of that book. it's one of the most beautiful things i have ever read. it is so, so amazing. my user picture (or whatever they're called) is from it. other books that are also spectacularly awe inspiring and wonderful: tao te ching conversations with god trilogy ramtha the tao of pooh the te of piglet alice's adventures in wonderland and through the looking glass (especially through the looking glass)
