It just makes me want to cry

For everyone that thinks its easier to be gay in this day and age you should see the amount of threads I have moved in here from the main forum (this being a new forum in here) I'm not even 10% through going through the main forum and there is already 3 pages of threads in here about people struggling and fearful about their sexuality.
what is that about and what does it say about the world we live in?
have we really come that far?
S

 

We live in a very close-minded world unfortunately. People tend to be threatened by what they feel isn't the "norm". Maybe they have unresolved issues themselves, guilt over feelings that perhaps even they had for members of the same sex, but instead of being accepting, they lash out in fear.

To me, love is love. It doesn't matter what the sexuality.

{{{Hugs Sam}}}

 

so true...
i wish there were more open-minded people out there...
some people just will be that way all their lives...
you cant change them...
just move on...

love has no color, race, gender, age, size, or religious beliefs or practices...
if you love someone, it shouldnt matter...to anyone...

 

now that Skips given us this subforum people may realise that they are not alone
S

 

it's so strange to me, really. because i've always had at least one gay friend. we tend to find each other, somehow. not a single one of them had nearly as much trouble as they thought they would, primarily, i think, because they were already obviously gay. it's an alien concept to me to have one's sexuality not fully embraced (or even just tolerated) by one's family and neighbors. i know i've been unbelievably fortunate in my family and friends. i can only hope to pass along the good vibe.

 

so maybe a good amount of this is the 'fear' of coming out before actually doing it?
S

 

yeah. it's a huge step. yeah, there's truly horrific stories of awful hard times people have had. but my friends, despite their fears, still had families who loved them very much. there were a couple who's parents were sad because they were the sole child and the whole grandchildren legacy is probably not going to happen. love has a remarkable way of showing it's face. sometimes you just have to give your family a chance to deal with the concept. there's often some squabbling. but unless you've got a super abusive family, it's typically just a matter of time and patience. but this has strictly been my experience, in southern california no less. i tend to find that when people are having a really hard time and are being shamed by their family, they're less likely to talk about it. so i may just have been receiving the good info.

 

I guess I have been fortunate , My mom knew verry early on that I was gay , but I can undersatnd the fear , for my Dad still has no clue , and i doubt that I will ever tell him , I just feel as if I would dissapoint him , and I havent the heart to do that to him.
I dont fear any violence from my dads family , only the fear of hurting them.

 

My philosophy is: coming-out to someone is a gift I give. I don't come-out to the bus driver or the clerk at the drug store, because I don't care enough about them to share my gift.

Being gay I know the oppression I have to deal with. But I try to recognize the gifts that come with the struggle. I know who my friends are. The bigots and false friends tend to flee. I know about bigotry, hate and oppression. And these are lessons I can share with others. If you dearly love someone, you can share this with them. If you know they will reject you, then yeah, what's the point.

In a some what related thread I want to say that I believe we have been ill served by the term "homophobe." "Homophobia" is only bigotry with a different name. We know that the chances of changing the mind of a bigot are slim. So, we concentrate on educating youth. (they call that recruting)

I am very proud of what the many youths of today, Straight and otherwise, have learned about gay folks and learned to share with others. It gratifies the protests of my youth. For that reason, I am able to make peace with the oppression I've faced.

 

thankyou
S

 

Wow, I've never heard it put that way before. Thank you.

 

I agree.

It's the one area that true progress (a movement) has not really touched. Sure, there has been some progress but much more needs to be made. The amount of discrimination in this day and age.... more hidden, sure.. but still there, is absolutly disgusting.

 

I know, I actually have cried about it at times. It's definitely better than where it once was, but theres still a lot to be done.

I personnally think it's related to some groups, in general society, and the fact that a large amount of people never stop hating, other entire groups (and I hate confessing admitting, to struggling with my own hypocriticial prejudices at times), will never stop in all likelyness, and that they will just change their targets. At the moment, gays happen to be one of the more prominent ones. Thats my theory anyways.

I wish it was merely called 'sexism', since to me it's just another aspect of sexism. Just an example: When people descriminate against race in a specific way, they generally don't get called "Afrophobes", or "Anglophobes" or whatever, even though those words exist, yet with gays it's automatically 'homophobia', which I just consider sexism. Either way it's such a common word to agree, on now, and a lot of people do not want to be seen as homophobic, so it has become a useful word, perhaps more benificial, so I still use that word anyways.

 

yeah, it's a good time to be born gay right now, but i think any one regardless of age and generation can rightfully claim their era was the best era to be born in.

let's be thankful for all of those people who have paved the way for glbt's everywhere, and hope we can do the same for the next in line.

 

The only appropriate sexuality on my college campus is heterosexuality. I go to a small school, about 5,000 people, and our GLBT group is very small and very open. A few people have even gotten the courage to tell parents, family, and/or friends because they finally had a group of people they could tell.

What I think matters a lot is your environment, and especially your family's feelings on sexuality. Even though issues like legalizing gay marriage and gay relationships on television are everywhere, I don't think coming out is necessarily easier.

 

That is amazing. Truly amazing and sagacious.

 

thankyou for that. amazing to read.

mabye future will be easier for those who do not fit society's guidelines. but for now, it is hard. there's no two ways about it.

but in the future, mabye all children will be brought up to respect their fellow brother and sister, no matter of race, religion, sex, gender, sexuality, "disability", age.... and all the other types of human...


love you all
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