Trouble's With Being Bi!

I'm 19 and I'm a bisexual female. I've been in lesbian relationships as well as straight relationships. Going through highschool it was "trendy" to be "gay," most of the people thought I was just jummping on the gay band wagon (as I called it!) even though I've known since I was 10 years old that I was interested in women. Now I'm in a straight relationship and have been in this relationship for 2 1/2 years. I love my boyfriend and do plan on getting married. However, I feel like becasue I'm with a man that part of my sexuality is not being explored and embraced. Over the 2 years we've discussed my bisexuality as well as threesoms and so on. Honestly it's been a battle over do we accept another person into our sexlife or not. In the end we've decided that we wouldn't. And, overall I am ok with that. But I was wondering if any of you guys know any ways to accept this issue. (Even if you have decided to be with a woman for your life and you realize that you will never be able to be with a man!) I just want to know, who do you accept the fact that you are only able to embrace one part of your sexuality!.?

 

im straight & mamny if not most of my gf's have been bi..i've always accepted that if they needed a woman they needed a woman cause men cant treat a womajn the same a woman can..its noytt always about welcomming a woman into our relationship as it is accepting that she may need someone else, a female..&..ive always said as long as i met her & was faitrly sure it wouldnt be a hurtful thing, then id accept it howver its never really become a huge issue

 

Are you stoned? You're typing stoned dude!
Love

 

Why does that matter? Just accept his advice and be grateful you got some.

 

naw, that's how he always types, but... that's not terribly appreciative of advice being offered.

I'd talk it out with your guy personally. I identify as bi but I don't really have the urge to date a chick while I'm dating a guy. But that's me, not you. Maybe you could have a makeout partner or something who's female - not sex but still a connection with someone.

 

*sorry guys, no offense was meant with that. Sorry if that's the way it was taken. Just meant to be funny and obviously it wasn't!*

Thanks for the advice. It's just that there is NO WAY a woman will be involved between us. We've come to that conclusion and that's what we've agreed upon. I just need to figure a way to get over the urges. It's like, how do you cut off you arm? This is part of me and I'm happy this way... but I know I'll be happy the other way too (and so will he!)

 

thats a tougher one if hes not confy with u havin a lil thing now & then with a woman cause you probly wont ever lose the urges although they may fade in time they'll always be there, ya could always invitre a few freinds over while hes asleep & wake him up with a lil suprise & make him realize theres worse things in the world then dating an adorable lil bi girl..lol ok jokin sorta but not many guys would be able to resisst..lol..buyt on a more serius note..u will always fantasize about whoever u want, and besides fantasy u can also work on the emotional bonds with your female freinds..& with him, ..bring up the idea every now & then but not often, but maybe at times when hed be more likely to listen & explain why its important to u & hopefuly in time he'll understand

 

How do you get over the urges? The same way you do in any monogamous relationship. Power of love, baby. And the skill of learning to look at the menu but eat at home.

To me, it doesn't seem that you're bi and denying a part of yourself, it's that you're hedonistic enough that you don't want a monogamous relationship. And that's cool, monogamy isn't for everyone.

I don't know a single person in a committed relationship that doesn't have fantasies. Fantasies being things that titillate us but are rather unaccessible, in this case because of the agreement between your and your partner. And as relationships grow, sometimes fantasies become more possible as soaringeagle has suggested. Sometimes love means a little bit of sacrifice - payoff being variable depending on your choice of partner.

Now if it's truly damaging to your identity to be in a purely straight monogamous relationship. If your sex drive is that strong that not having women ever again or so infrequently that it begins to have negative impact on your own self image, then perhaps you should consider a partner that is more into open relationships. It might be fairer to both of you.

Your path in the end. Best of luck in all your relationships.

 

The advantage of being Bi and Poly is that this question doesn't really come up.

The disadvantage is that there are now that many more people in your relationship with needs, wants, hopes and fears.....but only if you view it as a disadvantage.

 

It sounds to me like you are not really ready to settle down yet. Remember, you have your whole life to be a monogamous heterosexual, so don't be in a rush to get there just yet.

 

It's trendy to be gay? I'll take the punk route of nonconformity then

 

For me the urges never went away. I tried going straight during my last marriage & somewhat succeeded for a few years but I ended up slipping out for some same sex play at first every once in a while & eventually I just couldn't do without it any more. I fell in love again with an old partner from when I first came out & had a summer fling.

My now ex had known that I was bi well before we were married & yet it became part of the reason for the divorce.


IMHO think I should have just been honest with myself & in turn any partners & not promise fidelity because to me being bi there isn't one person made (well I suppose possibly an intersexed person) that has everything I need.

As I meet new people I always get the aspect of my bisexuality out in the conversation right away & also the fact that I can't promise fidelity. It may have lost me some relationships but let's face it if these people had an issue with it the relationship wasn't going to last very long anyhow. That's me. You have to decide for yourself of course. If I had any advice I would say you have to be true to yourself. The rest will fall into place as you meet people who are going to accept you for the real you.

 

I never had that urge, but thanks for sharing

 

So, how does being bi manifest itself with you? Your earlier comment didn't give us any insights...

 

Oh. Well, basically, a previous poster said that it was trendy to be homosexual in her HS, so I made the comment that I made.

 

Trendy to be bi. i see.

 

your mothers bi........

 

Yeah, your mother's bi.

 

We know whats up..

 

I have deleted some of the worthless comments on this thread, contribute to the subject matter or don't post.
also I would recommend that people check out the hip forum guidlines and what happens to people that deliberatly spam threads
S