as i had sensed, it was not broken, yet my mind was a client in need of service "Always go too far, because that's where you'll find the truth." - Albert Camus i paid attention to the details, giving my donations to the threadbare wonders of heaven. shopping for a muse- the answers i searched for, like a desert sun seeking incineration, were found in four uncertain languages. i vaguely gauged the distance between them, a distance between gods and their martyrs and let out an unconscious laugh. how does time travel through this vessel, this biotic-human frame? perception was adopted many years prior by an unstable mother and a forward- moving father, but what did this explain? people, as i understood them, were the catalyst of my elevated imagination. the progenitors, the martyrs, even those of the golden kingdom, they understood what i could not. they made reality of these substances, but each clan spoke only one dialect so i persevered to join them all. i tried to reach the man behind the machine, tried ripping through the veil of existence and suddenly i understood a fifth language; there was no distance, there were no gods, there were only those details i had already paid for only a moment ago. it's really not the best, (not that it has to be) it's way too abstract but it's the best i could make of it criticism puhleez
i like it, but perhaps what was important was not the details, but the attention you paid for them. nice writing, man.
thanks man and i agree that makes sense i suppose that's where my own criticism comes in, the poem is too abstract the biggest question to be asked would be, "what is going on in this poem?" i always have trouble with this
I really like this one aswell..i like abstract poetry..I think what's going on in the poem is trying to find where u fit in and belong while being "different" from the group. I'm probably wrong though. "they made reality of these substances, but each clan spoke only one dialect so i persevered to join them all."
