I'm about to turn 18, and I really want a girlfriend. I am very shy and get nervous whenever an attractive female is near me. I've only had the nerve to ask one girl out on a date, she gave me the "I'm flattered but I have a boyfriend" routine. I'm a virgin and I've reached a point where I crave physical contact in some way shape or form. Please, give me some advice.
I'm 18 and in your very same situation man, the closest ive got with a girl is drunkenly making out with random ones in a club, I guess that doesnt count though. It does suck and it does feel pressurising as im getting older day by day and not had one single person. I usually need a few drinks down me before I can approach someone, but ive tried it and I never seemed to find anyone. So one day I just said to myself i'm gonna stop trying and the right girl will come to me when I least expect it, I don't know if this is the best thing to do but it's what im currently doing.
I am a shy girl who has trouble talking to guys, so I guess that I am not the best person to help you with your situation, but I will try to give you my advice, anyway. Something that might help you feel less shy is to not think of talking to girls as trying to get a girlfriend, but think of it as just making new friends, just like you would talk to guys. Also, no matter how attractive the person may be, remember that she is just a person. If she says no to you asking her out, it will not be the end of the world. There are plenty of nice girls out there. I would recommend getting to know a person before going on a date. Asking people out who you don't know beyond the fact that they are physically attractive is pointless and very shallow. I say that because I know that a lot of people do this, and it is not the way to find one's true soulmate. The best advice I can give you, however, is to not want a relationship too badly or have it in your mind that you will have a relationship by a certain time because I can tell you that the more you wait for it to happen, the more you will feel lonely and the more it actually won't happen. Once you let your guard down and stop looking for love, it will find you.
Go to vegas and visit a whore house. It's legal and you won't have some woman driving you nuts all day long.
Thanks lunar. The one girl I did manage to ask out, I did chat up first to make sure we had something in common and that she wasn't, ya know, nuts. She was attractive, but I've met attractive girls that I'd rather not be involved with. You tell me not to think about it, but lately it's all I can think about. Since I was 12 I've thought about girls often, but now it's different somehow, I can't get them out of my mind. As for going to see a hooker, I'm looking for someone to have a connection with, not just someone to get me off.
Based on my experience, this is good advice. No matter how confident I am in talking to the opposite sex, there's always a part of me that's shy around girls I'm attracted to. So thinking of a potential date as a potential friendship as well as a potential romantic relationship makes it easier for me. If she's just not interested, then at least I'll have made a new friend.
First, you should focus on just meeting people and being friends with them first. If you go up to talk to a girl already thinking about asking her out, you're going to get nervous and screw it all up. Just say hello, make small talk... it's easy. If she's interested, she'll help you carry on the conversation. And have some confidence - don't worry about what anyone thinks of you. Don't fear rejection, and don't be self conscious. Once you get used to it, it's really easy.
Just convince yourself that you are the sexiest 18 year old guy around and that girls will fall all over you once they get to know you. Try it once and see if it works. Most "sexy" guys exude a confidence without being obnoxious or obvious about it that is catching, and that girls find attractive. Also talk with girls about things that interest them, and LISTEN to what they say.
you guys!!! never be afraid of asking girls out! just be confident! maybe a girl waits for you to come up and you are still hesitating
