It occurred to me some months back that I wasn’t a gentleman, and that bothered me slightly. I’m not exclusively talking about being a toff nosed rich person, but more that i wasn’t very chivalrous, I engaged in 'uncouth' behaviour in front of ladies, and generally was a bit of scruff. I've never acted too badly even as a teenager i got up for old ladies on the bus. But I’ve been making it my mission to become more 'gentlemanly' do the women like that sort of thing? Do any other men believe in the same sort of values of respect as this? Personally I think if we all started to act more kindly and gentlemanly then a lot of social problems would heal up...but then again that’s the same as saying if everyone stopped beating people up there'd be no street violence...so a bit silly really! maybe we should be more like leslie
Aye, I agree with you. However, I think that women also need to become more ladylike too, not that I would actually become more ladylike, but it would probably help the social situation out.
There's a time and a place, it's all about context. In certain circles, I am the very model of a modern major general. I'll sip my wine holding only the stem of the glass, I'll take my knives and forks from the outside in, I'll hold the door for a lady and I'll conduct myself with the decorum appropriate to a gentleman. In others, I'll engage fully with youth culture, reject stiff upper lips and formalised etiquette and, without harming others, live for fun. Even my accent changes depending on circumstance....
haha everyone's partial to a bit of code-switching every now and again. I always do it when I'm teaching
true, however im partial to the belief that we should behave maybe not 100% respectable all the time, but atleast 70%!
hehe yeah im hardly a lady. with my lad mates from uni last month we were sat talking about poo over lunch in the pub lol but with other friends i would never do such a thing (yeah so im not a lady) but i can be very ladylike when necessary my ex took me on a date to the cinema once and afterwards he held my coat for me as i put it on and i liked that alot at work the other day also i saw an old couple and the guy drove his car to the entrance for his missus. he then got out of his side, walked around and opened her door for her, shut it behind her and walked back round and got in to drive off - was lovely to watch
yes! its the foundation for the sustainability of progressive human culture surely!? the ability to respect one another, and be polite. Its certainly what British culture was founded on, and regaurdless of the bad things this country has done, we've certainly given a lot of possitive things as well! So yes! heres to good manners, politeness and some of the traditional values that made us what we are!
"I hate people when they're not polite" - a line from Talking Heads. Admittedly it's from their song Psycho Killer, so perhaps not the best example! I agree with the sentiment though. Manners are important, but so is love and warmth and a good heart, so they're not everything. My Dad's mum said a gentleman was someone who uses a butter knife when he's eating alone - that counts me out Context does make a difference though. When I'm drinking with the lads my standards do slip, but that's just because we're getting pissed and having a laugh. I have always tried to act in a gentlemanly way with girlfriends, so I'm a bit old-fashioned in that way. In general I'd say thumbs up to manners, so good call Joel.
well for me, there are two sides to that equation. on the first side, it annoys me when blokes change the way they talk and act because i'm around. alot of guys think they are being "gentlemanly" when they don't swear around a girl or kid each other in the same way, etc. but honestly, i find it a bit condescending. i've always hung out with the guys and i probably swear more than my cockney father-in-law (just he does it with more panache) so i don't understand why guys feel the need to modify their behaviour because all of a sudden a girl is there. like females are that different or whatever. however, that being said. it does always make me smile when a bloke opens the door for me, holds a door open, steps out of the way so i can walk in first, etc. i see that more as a sign of respect and not condescending. things like that are nice and make a girl feel special and on those days you aren't feeling good make you smile.
me too, I like to think I'm down wiv da kidz, innit. for some reason this topic reminds me of the Stones song: I got nasty habits I take tea at three
I live my life according to The Chap, a journal for the modern gentleman. I have a feeling it will be right up your alley, young Joel.
surely you mean the gentleman's quaterly that is both quarterly and for gentlemen! its what started me on this crazy path
Apart of British culture is being a posh Gentleman with a bowler hat and a fabulous penguin suit. A city full of people wearing the same thing. The women wearing earings, lavish hats and high heels with white wavy dresses that resemble a Marilyn Monroe dress statement. Being gentleman is basically being polite to ladies and young girls by listening to what they want. If they fancy a trip to the pictures then you pay the bill. If they fancy a stroll down Brighton pier then let them walk to your left and keeping the elements of the seven seas of Rhye to your right away from your madame young lady. Personally living in London, everyone is rude, have no respect, even the samaritans would walk on by if you lay there in a gutter in baker street at ten thirty pm.
