Tips To Young Guys On How To Get Laid

Discussion in 'Stoners Lounge' started by rangerdanger, Mar 4, 2007.

  1. rangerdanger

    rangerdanger Senior Member

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    You still didn't explain to me how you and your pissy-pantied g/f's morphed into thousand of men and women.
    Link this thread to them and we'll see how many views it gets once you do.

    -I never called you a dyke, it's yet another thing you made up.
    Ever hear of a Lipstick lesbian?

    -There is no way no how I'd ever consider making love to you. Sorry to burst your bubble.

    Oh yeah, be sure to provide a link to the article I inspired once it's published so I sue your pissy pants off.

    Here, have some more rope.
     
  2. young_deadhead

    young_deadhead I Love Lucy

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    why do we want tips from a women i believe zerogrrl said that all women are different so what would she really know? The best tips would come from a guy that has experience with lots women.

    And all it looks like to me is that zerogrrl is just putting words in rangers mouth, so instead of insulting him do what mr. greenxx said and post some tips since you think you know so much.
     
  3. hippy i am

    hippy i am poppy seed bagels

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    LMAO.
    this is the saddest thread EVER.
     
  4. CaptainBeefheartFan

    CaptainBeefheartFan Screwed Up

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    What did I do????
    and what does lmao mean????
     
  5. mr.greenxxx

    mr.greenxxx Not an Average Bear

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    lubbing my ass off ^ ;)
     
  6. vactom

    vactom Fire on the Mountain

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    It's actually laughing my ass off :p
     
  7. CaptainBeefheartFan

    CaptainBeefheartFan Screwed Up

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    oh, I thought she was pissed at me, hahaha
     
  8. seaweedyness

    seaweedyness Member

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    well, just from reading a few posts on here, i think at the end the moral of the story is,
    all chicos and chicas are different, and there's no list that can possibly say the right things to gaurantee you get laid. do what you feel is right, thats all, and if you mess up, you mess up
     
  9. vactom

    vactom Fire on the Mountain

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    <33
     
  10. mr.greenxxx

    mr.greenxxx Not an Average Bear

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    too bad it took so long to finnaly get the conclusion, but amen to that.

    btw, i was joking about lmao, obviously i know what it is duh :lol:
     
  11. ZeroGrrl

    ZeroGrrl Member

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    Yes, I did; once again, if you had read my post properly, instead of mashing way at your keyboard in anger, you would have seen it.

    Erm, no darling; if you read back you will see at least two cracks along the lines of 'the vibrator you and your girly pals use on each other'.

    You must be frustrated, if blind fury is making you lose your memory :D

    Either that, or you are just too ignorant to debate with. Yes, I'm beginning to think that's it... Since you really have no argument, and just repeat yourself over and over and over.....

    Good luck with that, darling. As someone who claims to work with the disabled, you should know that psychs etc do not name names in their case studies; this is called 'confidentiality'. And not naming names is how we get around the consent issue. ;)

    As for writing my own sex tips; that's a job for a psychosexual, not for me. I have neither the time, nor the inclination - especially considering that, no matter how good my tips were, it is inevitable that Ranger's little faction of gullible disciples will only throw petty insults at it, instead of actually learning anything. That is how Internet hero worship works, after all...

    Anyway, I think this one has run it's course... You clearly have nothing but petty spite and repetition to bring to the table, Ranger, so I think I shall declare this a moral and intellectual victory, and bid you all farewell.

    Thanks for flying ZeroGrrl ;)
     
  12. rangerdanger

    rangerdanger Senior Member

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    Your insults have no affect on me.
    And I have this thread to back me up if you plagurize me.
    You can pretend you won if you wish; wishing does not make it so.
    And if you read the comments in this thread how many people do you see backing you up vs. how many are backing me up?
     
  13. aesther

    aesther Member

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    If one is just looking for a sexual relationship, I think it's not a good idea to give gifts, go out to dinner, call more than once or twice a week, say super LOVING things, like I LOVE YOU, .

    All this stuff is great and wonderful for a relationship, but if a male is just looking for sexual relationships(which is OK, how can you say it is bad? it's Totally human. in fact it's unnatural to NOT want that. by suppressing yourself you're just creating problems in your head --- neuroticism....so many people are neurotic now, and it's because of sex, or lack there of.)

    So, regarding sexual relationships, it's better not to give things and act like a boyfriend.
    if you don't act like a boyfriend most women pick up on the fact that you're not looking for a girlfriend.

    also, i'm gonna say that women don't necessarily know what they want. men don't either. although i'm sure people of both genders do, what we want is mostly unconscious. so what we think we want, is not necesssarily true. therefore, ranger, having had relations with many females as he says, may have as good of an idea or better knowing what a woman wants, because he'd see the patterns throughout the women he's met . He would be talking to their unconscious, much like women talk to ours.


    I don't think attraction is a choice, it's set up for the continuation of our race. and i don't mean this to get scientific but i think it has to. we've been animals far longer than we have been human. Our brains are made up of mostly animalistic unconscious parts. the part that makes us human is very young and just at the top of the brain, ..
    so the majority of our brain, and essentially us, is still unconscious.

    also, while all people are different, while not all men want the same thing, while not all women want the same thing....since most of ourselves are unconscious, we actually mostly DO want the same thing.

    I think we can make far more generalizations that have a greater impact on our lives than individual differences that may be great in number, but don't necessarily have a large influence in our day - to day lives.

    I'm just gonna go over what I think of some of the tips you gave, ranger.

    " -First of all, be cool. Don't act like you're desperate for sex. That's a sure way NOT to get laid. "

    Anybody arguing with this? Desperation is NOT attractive. I'm a guy and any girl that's desperate for me right off the bat....that's a turn off. there's no anticipation, no fun.

    " -Compliment women. Every girl has positive points. Maybe it's her eyes, or her hair, or that she's a good dancer, etc."


    Everyone likes compliments, it makes people feel good. Women like it, men like it too. Theres a line though, i don't like to give too many compliments, especially when first meeting a woman.

    "-You gotta have your own place. Sneaking a girl into your parents house is no good. Get your own place and put posters on the wall and make it look nice. Maybe a vase with flowers.
    And hide all your stroke mags."

    Definately agree. Haha

    "-Learn to eat pussy REAL GOOD. Become an expert at it. Find a girl who will tell you what you're doing right and let her teach you. Of the hundreds of women I've bedded I only met 1 girl who didn't like to have her pussy licked. Girls like to cum but most women can't get off from just the old in n out. Get them off and they will tell their friends."

    I find this to be true too. If you show anyone a good time, ....a GREAT time..or a "REAL GOOD" time, they'll likely want more of it. This has nothing to do with eating pussy specifically, but anything you do REALLY GOOD obviously someone is gonna want more of. and something so sexual as getting your clit licked and massages and stroked, ....i mean come on!

    "-Be bold and assertive. Walk up to a girl you don't know at a party, bus stop, wherever and start talking to her. Compliment her right off the bat."

    Girls don't like wusses. Think about it this way. Thousands and thousands of years ago, before we were essentially human, some little weak monkey who tries to mate with a female vs. some huge dominant gorilla type monkey. who's going to protect the female more?
    Boldness, Assertiveness are evolutionary linked to attraction. It's a must.

    " -Talk to women before and after sex. Find out what she likes and doesn't like. Be nice."

    -Speaks for itself.

    -"Treat sex as a fun activity."

    - I think this is a great one. IT IS A FUN ACTIVITY! why do people see it as something different? oh because of religions and culture and society....well, consider this. They don't want you having sex with other people and having fun, they want you to get married and stay with your partner even if you don't love them anymore!!!! Why, because this makes society effecient, robot-like.
    By treating sex as a fun activity you become an individual by thinking for yourself instead of using the morals imposed on you by society.

    "-Make it plain to a woman that you're not interested in a long-term relationship. A lot of girls aren't interested in a long-term relationship either."

    If that's what you want, Certainly make that known.


    " -Personal hygene is a MUST. No girl wants to go to bed with a sweaty guy with bad breath."

    Speaks for itself,. but i'll add something real quick. I think a lot of guys underplay how important personal hygiene really is. It really is important to be very clean when you're with a woman. Woman are much more sensitive in their other senses than men, and so even if you don't think you smell, they might smell. Take a shower and scrub yourself a couple times , put on some nice cologne, just a little bit. Brush your teeth, scrape your tongue. She'll notice these things.



    "Don't rush things. Don't like be all over her slobbering like a puppy.
    Women like lots of foreplay. Hugging and kissing, stuff like that. Whisper in her ear how much she's turning you on, how sexy she is. Lick her neck. Take it slow and easy. Women take longer to get aroused than us guys."


    A man can see a girl and want sex, in all of 1-2 seconds. Women take more time.
    A man smiles at a woman, and a woman thinks "Oh, this guy is nice and friendly."
    A woman smiles at a man, and a man thinks "Oh, she wants sex."
    Get the picture? Woman are more like volume knobs, men are more like light switches

    " I love women. A LOT. To me, the best high is sex."

    Aint that the truth. A lot of people who use drugs but don't have sex wouldn't need to use drugs after they started having sex.


    Anyways lots of good tips. It';s ok if others don't agree either. This is just observations of people. Take it or leave it, but I have found in the world that this is the way it works, most of the time.
    Also, this is for attraction, for dating. for love other factors obviously come into play


    oh natural philosophy, you said "his post offends me. BUT I agree with some of the things you said. A lot of this could be made into a list of things to do/say to attract a partner, not just a lay."

    I agree, but isn't attraction supposed to inevitably lead to sex? Maybe not in the way we think of things, but in the way they are....that is how it works. So I feel your difference of opinion merely lies in semantics, in wording...in how they are phrased. These differences have to be looked over since the ideas are more or less the exact same.
     
  14. makesmomcry420

    makesmomcry420 shlimazl

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    is she calling me gullible? meh... oh well she can believe that if she wants but i dont see how the logical men who saw imperfections in her argument are "deciples" ranger danger is cool and all but he isnt my hero, nor my lord, so being a free thinking child of god (whoever god is) i can take this generalistic insult with stride
     
  15. boywonder

    boywonder Member

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    As i was directed from another forum to this thread this is my first post.

    I really felt the need to point out the other side of the story that so far most people in this thread have missed.

    Having sex is great, its one the greatest and most pleasurable things we can do as human beings, but there is something that the OP has missed completly.

    Finding a girl to have a one/two or three night stand with is mediocre at best, yeah you get to rub your pecker against something other than your hand but thats about as much as you get. When you meet a girl (I said when not if) and actually spend sometime getting to know them you will understand what sex is all about because as a natural progression she will get to know you too, sex is an learning experience and it is different everytime, having a poke a few times with a girl will never be great sex, ever.

    When you have learned to please her, she will learn to please you too and she will do things to you that you didnt even think was possible, if you respect her and talk to her and she does the same you both experience pleasure beyond anything you could ever get from the advise thats given by the OP. Sex is more than a physical connection, its an experience thats different everytime and no lists or advice can ever be taken seriously because it doesnt work like that.

    The best and only advice i could ever give is simple really, girls are not an alien race no matter how much you think you dont understand them, they have the same questions as you, the same thoughts and issues on how to attract the opposite sex, talk to them first and not about sex, you will know if you like her and if she likes you, you might be unsure about that at first but she will probably be thinking if you like her too, spending time with her is the key to all your worries and you never know, she might be the soul mate your looking/going to be looking for or she might be the best friend you have ever had.

    I know what us guys are like, Instant sex is a turn on, sometimes the best sex is instant sex, no flirting, no buying flowers, no dates just sex, grab a girl and get down to it, i do that almost everyday with my GF and there is no ' oh do that please' or ' i really like that' etc why? because she already knows, im sat there reading the paper and suddenly my GF is going down on me without saying a word, or im walking past the computer room, see my girl and start getting horny, truth is i dont have to say anything, just go into there and start kissing her neck and she knows, its great, but i will always remember the early days when we were learning about each other because none of that is possible without spending time together and getting to know what each of us likes, thats just something you will never get by having a quick shag with a girl you dont know.

    But sure, if you want quick meaningless and pretty crap and clumsy sex then follow the advice of the OP, most times you will get a slap in the face or you will just end up hurting peoples feelings, do that for long enough and you will find yourself having alot of relationship problems in the future, in fact you will be boring in bed because you only know a few general techniques.
     
  16. hippy i am

    hippy i am poppy seed bagels

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    laughing my ass off.
     
  17. hippy i am

    hippy i am poppy seed bagels

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    why would i pissed at you?
    I LOVE YOU!
     
  18. Orsino2

    Orsino2 Hip Forums Supporter HipForums Supporter

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    This thread is getting awkward or something.
     
  19. hippy i am

    hippy i am poppy seed bagels

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    as they always do george.

    oh and i love your signature!

    i love simon & garfunkel.
     
  20. Orsino2

    Orsino2 Hip Forums Supporter HipForums Supporter

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    Same. :D Nice edit.
     

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