Hello everyone, I've been married for almost 5 years and have been with the same woman for 9. Everyone knows that when you first meet, sex is great. And over time and years in some cases like mine, it dwindles down to almost nothing. What is that all about, from a womans perspective I guess. I remember one time, about 3 months into the relationship, she was riding me and going completely insane. I then slowly put a finger into her ass, and began to finger fuck her tight little asshole, the orgasms increased and she came more frequently. Afterwards she asked if I had ever tried it, I told her no and we did it. Now at this time and probably into the first year of the relationship, all great things for a young guy were happening in bed for me, she would blow the shit out of me, swallow which I never asked her to do, when I gave oral, she like most women would grab the back of my head and bury my face into her pussy while she climaxed. Trying positions was never a problem. NOW.....for about 6 years or so, sex is almost routine here, missionary, and if I'm lucky, she'll ride me. No foreplay whatsoever, just get the lube, I'm in doing it and BAM, done! Last week was the first time I ate her pussy in probably a year, which drives me nuts because I love eating pussy, but she just lays there, there's no movement, I have to keep telling her to keep her legs open, she'll complain that it tickles.....and I'm thinking to myself, " No shit it tickles it's suppose to dumbass". Sucking her tits, nothing. If she's on top, I cannot move, I have to let her concentrate on cummin'. I'm confused, did she do all of this shit to lure me into an eventual marriage. We have 2 children, and yes they tire you out by the end of the day, but I always have time for her. Most nights I have to ask for sex because there is no initiative from her, unless she thinks I'm pissed, then she doesn't want to fight and she'll do the missionary thing. It's always in the bedroom, not once since we've owned this house have we done it anywhere's else. I guess what I'm trying to ask is, is there possiblity of prior cheating, she doesn't go out with friends, doesn't drink anymore, I just don't understand what the hell it is. I've put her through some rough times in the past as I am a compulsive gambler in recovery, but she stuck it out, why would a woman who cheated stay with someone that broke the bank twice because of an addiction? She gives me little blowjobs most of the time when were messing around, never finishing or following through to sex. I feel like I'm always the one making the effort, but getting really tired of the rejection. We just had an arguement before she went out the door, and I pretty much told her about what it's like for me, and she always insist that I'm being mean to her, and that's not it, I feel like I'm married to a damn cock tease. Or am I living in the passed, do these things occur in most marriages after time? Thanks, all responses welcomed !!!
I feel that instead of coming to an online form, where no one has any professional training you should instead, go to a marriage counselor. Cause more than likely there is other stuff that needs to be worked out. Thats not to say that people dont have good answers here or anything like that.
She's bored or depressed. I say counselor too because women are very emotional and sometimes just don't know how to explain things. Btw, I love the detail, feeling, and honesty in what you wrote. You should write a book or something because you seem to be honest and easy to understand... Idk why but your post reminded me of something Ive read before...
Man, you have let the romance slip. When something else is wrong the sex is the first to go. She will lay missionary if you get "mad". Come on, I wonder why she isn't all over you. Let her know that she means more to you then just sex. Do this by listening to her(remember to just shut up), taking her places, bringing her flowers, whatever but don't come on to her afterwords. If she feels secure and loved you will get your just reward.
Yes, she might feel used a bit, but here's the deal. MOST men see love as a result of the sex they have. MOST women see sex as a result of the love they have. In other words, while you only are expressing your love for her through sex, she sees it as being empty because there is nothing you are showing her that is underlying. She wants to laugh with you and talk with you and enjoy herself with you, but all she gets is the same repeated conversation of why no sex. Can you see why she might feel like you have lost a little interest in her as a person? Neither of you are wrong or right here, you just need to talk things out, find a compromise and realize why there is such interference. The fact that you are asking about it tells e you WANT it to work out. Now make the effort and allow her to explain to you what SHE is missing. Listen. Learn. Take the steps to correct this. Best of luck.
I don't think this forum is the place you need to get the answers you want. No offense to anyone. try - Loveshack.org - , trust me there will be a lot of people there going through what you're going through and they probably can help you more.
