Ok, so I'm not the most patient person in the whole world, and I don't have a bombshell body, or beautiful long blonde hair with sparkling blue eyes. In fact, I stand 5'2" and weigh about 170, I'm caucasion, with medium brown eyes, a really super short spikey hair cut that screams sassy, a pentacle tattoo on my shoulder with the words "Pagan Pride", and large breasts that I hate because they naturally sag some insted of being adorably perky. Ever notice how Wal-Mart never carries any sexy lingerie for us large breasted women? All they have that's cute is for itty bitty tittie comittie. I don't wear makeup, and I hardly ever wear jewelry (including a wedding band as this is a Christian tradition) and when I do it's almost always a small pair of silver hoop earrings, and once in a rare while, a necklace as long as it isn't gaudy. I don't do dresses, and I'm a classic tom boy. I am creative, assertive, passionette, a good provider, I love my children, and my husband says he loves me, but yet every time I do anything to try and make myself more sexually appealing, he never notices. He rejects me every time I try to have sex with him it seems like, and it makes me feel dirty and whorish for trying to come on to him. I own very few things that make me feel pretty, and I slipped into one earlier, a skirted bathing suit that made me feel sexy. It's low cut, and hides my belly, I felt beautiful for a change and eagerly modeled it for my man only to be rejected yet again. He then told me later that t reminded him of his mom's swim suit, and he hates his mom, so it was a big turn off. I am starting to get desperate for sex, I am masturbating alot, having cyber sex all the time, and am starting to feel really undesired and unloved. What am I doing wrong? - Charismatic_Evil
I hate reading things like this. I am in the same boat and when I read stuff like this at almost makes me resent my wife because I go to the gym 4 days a week and have a great body, never seem to have a problem with other females taking notice of me but my wife just acts like she could care less. There has been times I will go tanning before working out and come home looking very hot and sexy and she will notice and say something about it but just no physical response. I know it makes you feel so unappreciated and feel like whats the point of putting all this effort into it if I keep getting no result. I have just been trying to focus on other aspects of our relationship and convince myself that its me that is not letting her have sex and it seems to help. It makes it your choice that your not having sex and since then I have become less desperate I don't focus on it as much. The thing that sux is we shouldnt have to do this when we are married. Look at it as if a sucker was your fav candy and you got one every month, you would savor that sucker and take your time eating it. If someone offered you one every day you would get sick of it and would begin to care less if you ate one or not. You know its always there and always avail. Then there are people like use that would still enjoy that sucker everyday and never get sick of it. Hope that helps!
hae you tried talking to him about why heh asnt been in the mood lately? is he one of those men who only wants to fuck when he initiats it? is there som enew stressor in your guys' life? has it been lik ethis since before you got married, or sine the wedding date? have you ASKED him what turns HIM on?
DeathRowDisco, I am inclined to agree, I get very frustrated, and here lately it's been getting worse, as I realize it's very possible that I might be bi-polar, and he keeps throwing it in my face and says I need to get checked out and get on medication. This is very hurtful to me. Dees72, I get it, I feel ya. here lately I've been searching out the most intensely perverted stuff I could find online, as I am a very open minded female, and sometimes I can get my kicks just by reading a dirty story, or looking at my favorite pornographic genres. Maybe I should stop trying so hard to make him take notice, could it be possible that that is what is pushing him away? He says my timing is always horrible, but he always finds an excuse to reject me when I want to initiate sex. Allonym, He likes to initiate, and enjoys being dominant in the bedroom, though in every other aspect of our lives it is completely reversed. He is more submissive, and I am extremely domineering and aggressive, particularly when it comes to my job. I am a truck driver, and I LOVE my job. Several days ago I was fired from one company that kept me over the road for weeks at a time, and three days ago I was hired by a local company. Now I get to be home every night with him and the kids, and still living the road warrior dream. He was a virgin when we married, and was a sexual beast, but guys are in their prime from 16 - 18, he was 21 I think when we met, and his prime was nearly over then. Women in contrast, enter their sexual prime between 23 - 25, so while in many ways I am settling down and enjoying being a more typical mother, insted of a wild club going party girl, I am still the sex fiend I always have been. - Charismatic_Evil
The next time he rejects you in bed, just start masterbating and see how he reacts. Tell him, he gets you all wet thinking about him and you are so turned on and hot that you have to have a release. See what happens. He might get turned on alot by you playing with yourself in front of him and join you. As for the sexual prime thing that is just a guidline. I don't think my sex drive has decreased at all since I was 19. In fact I am more open and wild now than I have ever been. I keep reading that when a female hits 30 the sex drive starts to increase alot. I cant wait. My wife is alot younger than me but she will be there soon. Good luck
I really think he's the one with problems. You seem open and trying, but all he does is knock you down, insult you and make you feel worthless. If he loves you then he should at least be respectful in tell you he doesnt want sex. Telling you that you look like his mother and you knowing he hates her is a passive aggressive personality. You should be happy and fell loved and wanted. You deserve better.
When there are other issues in a relationship the sex life is the first to go. You need to sit down and do some serious talking to each other, reconnect with each other.
