You have some serious perception and appearance issues when you are amongst almost anyone it seems to me. What's wrong with feeling vulnerable? Why don't you try to listen and nurture your feelings instead of avoiding them and replacing them with something. People aren't either below you or above you while participating in a conversation. There are many shades of grey and it's just a conversation... no need to internalize your feelings of vulnerability by the responses you receive from conversing with your family. Best of luck and Merry Christmas.
I have said this to you before, having emotions doesn't make a man "soft" or "gay." Why are you so concerned? I also, do not drink because I don't want to become physically vulnerable (womyn who get drunk often get taken advantage of, sexually, I have been around a situation where a girl was gang raped at a Frat Party at college, because she was drunk, and couldn't get away, and the police did nothing about it, blaming her for gettting drunk) I also saw womyn humiliating themselves while drunk and told myself NO WAY am I ever going to be like that. Why would your family get upset if you don't drink? Tell them, nicely, that you have no desire to get drunk (no reason to go into details) and then don't drink. I NEVER drink, and people stopped bugging me about it after a very short period of time. Stand your ground, and say "I don't want to drink. My body: My decicion. This is now not going to be a discussion or I will leave the area." Then DO IT (leave) if people continue to bother you. There are people you simply cannot argue with, they don't listen, letting them know "This is NOT a subject I will discuss." is about the only way to deal with them.
Carl Jung said that every man needs a balanced anima, which means that every man has to have a tough side and a soft side to him.
dude, chris, chill the fuck out and smoke some weed. Take a blunt to the dome and all this shit you get all pissy about will disappear. and you will become cool. and girls will want to talk to you. and your penis won't be soft.
You seem to be so obsessed with being "manly" that it's not good for your mental health. And I promise you that there are gay men at least as "manly" as you are.
