did she see us??!!

omg you have to help me guys....last night i was fucking my boyfriend at our apartment, and we were filming it, so, you know....we made it real good and exaggerated and whatever.

but then we watched it back a couple of hours later, and we noticed something really strange in the background....and after rewinding it a couple of times we realised that it was his mum!! she'd called in to see him to congratulate him on his new job....but when there was no answer she just came in, cos she must have seen the lights from the window.....on the video she seemed to look across directly at us but she left pretty swiftly!

even though thats a really big CRINGE its not the worst part LOL!!

you see, my boyfriend hasnt come out to his parents yet...he was gonna tell them soon but he's just not ready yet......but the thing is, his parents are devoted christians and they would dis-own him for sure if they knew.
now he's really edgy and he wont let me get close to him cos he so worried that his mum saw!

so i really need you guys opinions on whether you think she saw or not or if you think we should ask her about it?

please help me!

 

OK, first of all, I'm sorry to say it, but that's funny... Or it would be in a lighter atmosphere (i.e. I've had people walk in on me before, and it's funny)... but in this case, there is a higher problem... the fact his parents are christan, and so one might assume, not gay-friendly (although that is a generalisation, and I know for a fact that a lot of christans are very gay-friendly).

At this point I believe there is only one thing he can do... come out. It seems fairly obvious to me that she now knows for sure (after seeing you in the throws of passion), and so what harm can come of it?

It seems o me that if his parents love him (and we should hope they do) they will accept it. They might not agree with it, or understand it, but they should accept him for who he is.

Send my luck to him... let us know how he got on.

 

Dan, if only it were that easy. My mother is a firm supporter of a constitutional amentment that would ban gay marriages. Not only is she a supporter, but she's an active voice on the subject. She goes to the rallies, she sends out letters, she makes calls to our local politicians. To top it off, she can't stop complaining about the horrors of homosexualISM. And dad doesn't want to raise any queers in the family. He doesn't care for my uncle because he suspects him of being gay, which he's not. Just a feminine hetero. So, it's not necessarily as easy as you think to come out to parents like that.

 

Is it not possable that she might change her mind if she finds out that you're homosexual? I mean you can show her how there is nothing wrong with being homosexual, how you're a good person, etc.. AND homosexual?

It appears very much that the ball is in her court. I think it's almost sure that she saw you, so like I said before, what harm could come from just confirming it to her? It's then up to her what she wants to do... It's a pain in the arse (uumm, maybe the wrong phrase ), but I don't think there is anything else you could do.

But again, good luck (and if you ever fancy sharing the video, you just give me a shout)

(PS, sorry to make jokes in such a serious thread, this is a very serious matter, but I think it's a good way to illistrate that it's not the end of the world, and that the world goes on..)

 

I have 2 children...21 and 27.

I would NEVER enter their place without permission, and if I did, then it would be my own fault if I saw something disagreeable to me.

That being said...I have been a bit on the other side,,,I lived as a "lesbian" for 7 years, I don't consider myself labeled by any group. I am married to a man, but its all a long story.
Anyway, I was very involved in the gay community in Norfolk Va. and was the fundraising chairperson for the Hampton Roads LGBT coalition.
I had been running all over town setting things up for a huge picnic and contacting companies for donations (even got wal-mart to sell me soda for 3 cents each).
The Virginian Pilot Ledger Star knew about the event and contacted me for a piece they wanted to do on "Lesbian Moms"....well I couldn't pass it up.
They ran a feature story in their "living" section and it was 3 full pages with my hugeass picture on the front page of it.

My real father and step mother knew nothing of any of this...lesbian or anything,I lived with a woman at the time.

I decided to let the chips fall where they may, it's my life..gotta live it my way.
In the end, my dad called me and our whole thing has always been rocky, and he said he was proud of me(only time).
My step-mother was great.

The thing is...sometimes the way we grow up and the belief system we've always had is so ingrained in us we can't escape it.
Even if we try it causes us anxiety. This happens with parents, they are from another time when people were judged so much by what they were. nd by how their kids turned out. They view it as a direct reflection on themselves.
Now some can get over it, some it takes time and lots of understanding and some are so hard ass they never do.
I would approach her and be in control of the situation, have a big shabang let it all come out, scream holler cry. Then shut up walk away let it all calm down and see what is left.

But you must live your life for you or you will never be happy.

And my motto is...be careful what and whom you film...breakups can be very messy in more ways than one.

 

hey ma peeps! thanx loads for the support n all that jazz! unfortunately i have another dilemma for yas... me boyf says he wont confront his mam wit me and he wants 2 go our separate ways if yas get what im sayin? neways im gutted coz he is like well fit, and a tad confused coz i mean... i'm the best! no1 has ever dumped me b4, stuart alan jones always dumps em first. so yeah im well upset bout the whole thing and i think he is just afraid of comin out, as peeps will think hes sick or woteva... what do y'all think? how shud i persude ma boyf not 2 leave me and deal with his mam as well?
please help!

 

I'm not so sure that I like your bigheadedness (unless you're joking), but if he wants to break up, then there is not much you can do, except respect his wishes.

Now it's highly possable that he wants to end it to make things easier with his family, and while that's the easy route out of the problem (although not the best thing to do) at the end of the day, there is nothing much you can do about it.

My suggestion is that you both sit down and talk about it. Be totally honest with each other and see how you feel about it. No one can tell you what to do, you need to make that decision yourself.

Good luck.

 

thanks dan... i was being weird before because i just dont know how to react in these kind of situations...it makes me nervous and i just resort to being strange.....

the whole big headed thing....you see i used to be like that, but since i met will (thats my boyfriend) ive calmed down a lot and have realised that i can just be myself.
but he hasnt even come home yet tonight and im really worried. i love him so much and i dont want to lose him, especially over this.

i guess i will just have to talk to him and sort it out.

i'll let you know what happens!

 

Has she been avoiding you or anything? If she has been acting normal towards you, then dont worry, and if she has been avoiding you its probably because she dosnt know how to deal. You are her child and she loves you no matter what... Yes, it is a new concept to Catholics, but they have to get used to it, the world is not going to be the perfect place they envision, no matter how hard they pray. Dont be embarassed by your sexuality... embrace it! My friend went through the same thing, her mother grounded her for months, but she finally realised that this is the life her daughter chose and she cant do anything about it. She still has not completley accepted the whole idea, but she iss working on it. Maybe you should have an open coversation with your mother? I hope this helps you out, a little bit at least, let me know how things go.

 

Are your parents holy rollers too? If they aren't as anal about religion you have less issues than he does to deal with, most likely. You also didn't mention how close your parents are with his. Is it possible that your Mom wouldn't tell his parents? Maybe the both of you are upset over nothing. I do think you should talk with your Mom though. I would bring it up at a time when you are alone & do it in a friendly manner. Maybe not even necessarily mentioning the actual event at first. I don't know your family dynamics but she may be feeling guilty for walking in on you. I bet that she knocks before entering again though.

 

There were all kinds of rumours before I was "outed",even though Im bisexual.
I just learned to deal with it.I've gone through a lot of lifestyle changes.You
just have to accept who you are.

 

.

 

Yeah, I'm gay too, gay girl that is...And one night last summer I had my "friend" Liz over, who was really my girlfriend, and we were fooling around majorly, and my parents found out, and they were completely shocked. But, eventually, they got over it and starting accepting it. So, I'm hoping things sort out, and don't let this ruin your self image or anything, or put you in shame of your sexual orientation.