Smoking Cannabis again after 'suspected' Psychosis

I know many of you guys really can't be arsed with this kind of shit, I mean when I smoked skunk etc 5 times a day, I wouldn't even want to be reading or thinking of this shit man. If your thinking that now, stop reading.

The thing is, back in October, I was hammering some heavy trichome coated stuff. My moderation went out of the window and my five year habit spiralled into what I would believe to be a period of 'acute intoxication' I did many things without having any reasoning (no freddy krueger shit, just really irresponsible, no auditory or visual hallucinations, just holding truly false beliefs-fucking scary ones, like my imagination had dominance over my mind)

In all my pot smoking career, numerous trips to Dam sampling all the hashs I could find and many sativa and indicas, growing the sheet many times and intensive research on the substance, I thought I could take any amount and be fine. However, my head was actually fried and the Crisis teams were called in to assess me. They assumed I had a psychosis, but truthfully I know I didn't, just very close to getting one. I had also used ecstasy, mescaline, speed and cocaine in the weeks prior to this.

In the five years prior to this, I never experienced anything bad before, except vomitting from un-cured bud. I know there is thousands of breeds out there with low THC levels eg: 10% as opposed to 25% (the shit i was using so much of) but I just wanted to know if anyone else had experienced this kind of thing with pot (not just average para, everyone gets that, but literally going west for days due to over-consumption..believing shit that wasn't happening etc) and have they returned to the buds??? the reason I ask is a desire to return to doobage once a week for recreational purposes but I just feel that it could re-open those experiences.

I am not an amateur in this subject, thus I know its an atmosphere dependant drug, its effect works upon how you feel before you use, who you smoke with, events occuring in life, its effects alter in high, stone, dreamy, body high, inspiring, trippy, cerebral etc etc with which breed you choose, what I want to know is if anyone has experienced what I did, lost reasoning after being fine on every breed and type (skif, skunk, oil, pollen, polms etc) for so long previous???

The longevity of this message I feel is necessary to deliver a lateral story to you for analysis if you have experienced what I have.

 

I'm guessing that it won't really matter what people tell you in here, because it would be different for everyone. You don't really know until you smoke a little and find out. I'm sure you could smoke a little, here and there, and you'd probably be able to decide whether you need to stop or not, before it is too late. I'm sure it wouldn't all come rushing back at once, but it MAY come back gradually and you should notice the change before it gets too severe.

 

i would take the risk to see if that was it. but thats just me.

 

If you get some low level kind bud and just smoke that, without the other drugs along with it, you should be fine.

I know people who swear because they did too much acid years back they can never eat anymore without having the worst trip around. Then eat a tab and have the best trip ever. I think doctors use psychosis way too much these days. Granted, mixing drugs/narcotics/hallucinagens isn't the smartest around, but plain pot shouldn't throw you into a psychotic episode.
If it does, the mental issues were already there to begin with, so it wouldn't matter what narcotic you used again.

Happy toking.

 

I wouldn't smoke anymore; to me, permanent mental damage (including depression, psychosis) is not worth the temporary fun drugs are.

If you've seen mental problems from drug use, stop before it becomes permanent, it's just not worth it dude IMO.

 

mescaline probably had more of an effect then the pot.

 

could you mention how did this "psychosis" manifest itself?
Like what do you mean exactly by 'beliving shit that wasnt happening' ?
I ve been gettin kinda paranoid lately too and wanted to know if our symptoms match or are even close.

 

Paranoia is normal. Its that jail thing in the back of our minds

-Bill

 

Cheers all and TopNotch I couldn't agree more, each case is different man. One mans hell is another mans paradise (in my case Slinkie, I can see what your saying, its just real hard to specify what grade buds/hashish's etc. I get as dealers don't have selections here. The only method would be to grow low level stuff. 420, thats what I'm worried about most, as if I had what I experienced permanently, it would ruin my life man.

Bisexual, you may be lying when you say your experiencing para but I don't mind if your just curious about my illness. I have no shame as I am fully recovered.
My beliefs began as ridiculous things, like people watching me constantly, even when there was no visible people in sight. This then manifested into a complex array of conspiracies, centering on the theory someone was going to kill me. I then believed someone was going to poison my food and even mistrusted my own family.

This led to me heading out to Dam, where I went even more west, believing I was staying in a hotel run by suicide bombers, triggered when they asked to scan my passport and I noticed the issue date was 7th July 2005!!! ie; the exact date london got bombed. I then started roaming the streets and even left my shoes in the hotel (i had 2 pairs obviously) The next 3 days were a blur, but it included me roaming 2 airports believing MI6 were going to recruit me for my abilities to spot suicide bombers and finally believing that I could actually 'sense' suicide bombers by shaking uncontrollably, this shaking was probably due to my 105 hours without sleep. My theories then branched off into believing I would be assassinated.

I then saw a bus with the company name 'terravision' written on it and this triggered me into believing zombies were going to land on earth from space. I then decided i needed to get to switzerland to get a gun to protect myself from these 'said' zombies. Before I had the chance, 3 old friends from the military pulled me out of the airport and this only reinforced my theories even more. I won't go into the later, deeper stages which involved believing 5000 spirits were in my head etc etc etc etc and so it went on.

You may think this is all bullshit but I really don't care, I have bared my soul and memories here so choose whether you believe. The after effects of this horrific 'trip' which manifested itself (as acute intoxication/psychosis) as schizophrenia, minus the hallucinations and voices, was weeks and weeks of excruciating paranoia which only began to subside when I got off the crappy anti-psychotics, they only seemed to prolong my fears. May I also say, Meditation, long walks in nature (without humans or any technology), the website: successconsciousness.com and a hell of a lot of painting was how I cured myself. The mental health services were useless and treated me like a 'specimen' constantly making me go back to my experiences they didn't know the half of when I just wanted to move on.

Even months after this still gives me a bad headache (literally stabbing pains in the brain) just thinking about it.

I have recovered completely, not one delusion for months now, no paranoia anymore, nothing just contentment. Except the fact I blew my life away (quit two unis in that short time).

As an artist, I have an extremely over-active imagination anyway and see the earth in a rather strange way, yet I have/ had always been capable of having the insight to see what was 'real' or imaginary. Yet in the trip and in the weeks tha followed, I couldn't. It almost as though my imagination took over, but not in a stony, fun way.

 

Do you think maybe all you had was a bad flashback? Maybe it doesn't have anything to do with psychosis at all...well...long term anyway.

 

It did feel like all the effects of the drugs I had taken in life (many more than listed above) so perhaps it was slinkie, but for it to last days as opposed to hours (I've had a few ecstasy flashbacks, usually lasting 5-10 minutes) is plain weird. May I also mention the 'top grade' I was smoking, was delivered dark green and very rockbud (like an indica) yet when ground up turned a bright green (I mean near enough white with crystals) and fluffy like a sativa. Almost as though it had been dipped in embalming fluid (another of my delusions at the time-or was it??) that formaldehyde shit is literally like going insane apparently, but I just assumed the weed had been compressed in transit.

 

That sucks the experience was so terrible for you it's made you leery to smoke more. I am so sorry. What a fucked up feeling.
Try a hit and see what happens. Keep a fresh cup of water near by just in case your heart rate sky rockets..just in case. Hopefully the worst of it is now over.


Trust me, if you're going to go crazy, you won't even realize it when it's happening, so enjoy the ride as long as you can. lol

 

Thanks for the sympathy slinkie. At the time of the crisis teams/psychologists and GPs etc. I knew I had some serious explaining to do for the 'irregular' movements abroad then coming back 3 days early, buying flights to switzerland I never got on etc. so I just told them I wanted to 'suicide due to depression' which may sound bad, yet no where near as bad as the consequences of telling them what I was really thinking (ie; would have been sectioned or some shit)

Point is, deep within all that imaginary turmoil, I still had the reasoning (subconsciously) to hide my true thoughts, thus not truly 'gone' in the head.

 

Lately when I've been getting high sometimes I get thinking on the universe and God and existence. I get stuck on Oblivion and nothingness then start freaking out about it, unable to stop myself until I fall asleep or sober up. I try not to think about it. I try to tell myself to consider other things. But it always comes back to that one thing. Quantum Physics Probability issues are the only thing that can keep me sane sometimes. Along with other things.

This is nowhere near your experience, but nonetheless I experience a loss of control of my thoughts sometimes.

 

Rash, I know exactly what your saying there. Go an check out my MySpace profile and you will find almost every piece of art i have ever done focusses on death and the surrounding effects it has. This morbid fascination began age 5 when nI discovered a Morgue operating over the fence at the end of my garden. My stoner sheds (you'll see them on my myspace page) were right next to this, so you really don't know how much I can relate man.

http://www.myspace.com/richardhigham

Every time I heard the van leave, pick up a cadaver, come back, freezer doors opening, body getting placed then freezer door closing (up to 3 times a night) it made me unbelievably aware of the fragility of life. Years later, all I can tell you to reassure you is that life is complexity and death is simplicity. Death is the driving force for humans, without it being on the horizon we wouldn't do jack shit, people would be too wise, there'd be nothing to work towards for future generations, in fact the whole earth would implode. My aims in creating the art with the themes I use, is to remind you how lucky you are to just wake in the morning, have your vision, taste that delicious breakfast, indulge in love and drugs etc. etc.

If you check out the theories of Quantum Immortality you may find some interesting theories man, but don't bet your life on them. In the end, if death really does result in entry to a quality after life...why has no spirit come back and told us? Would it cause uproar and suicides if we knew post-death was better than life, or does reincarnation of internal electricity dominate the earth? If so, who gets reincarnated into a rich family ...the poor and where do the rich dudes go? Who knows.

 

So as a former "Mental Health Professional" I'm gonna second what 420fuchs said in the above quote. When I worked in the field we always wondered why so many of our most gone patients had substance abuse problems... did the drugs get them? or were they prone to overdoing drugs because their mental state was shakey to begin with. Most people can use their drug of choice with no ill effects ... MOST people... not everybody. If every time you start drinking you don't stop until you pass out; or if you find yourself blowing the rent money on lots of drugs, things might not be right. That MI6 business is some hard core paranoia/delusion that you want to take steps to stay away from. If quitting a substance keeps you out of the nuthouse you'll be better off.

 

Cheers Bob. Its good to here some advice from a person experienced in seeing mental illness. Your right about the delusions etc. yet I had never experienced these before. My thoughts now are that I can live without it, its just the thought that I'll never be able to use it again in my life that guts me slightly.

 

I just got back from psychosis, with believing i was actually an alien and so on hahaha

Still smoking the refer man, everyday, and ok they make delusion come back a little bit at times but nothing to "believe in'' its like a game a little bit. Little ticklers.

If one thing, it makes me depressed. But even smoking it, im more and more seeing through what happened. And its only when i stopped taking the anti psychotics that i could crash and understand the psychosis.

I wont ever take lsd again though, I think. haha this post is not something to take as advice but just reporting my expeirence with weed after psychosis.

 

Hmm, well I'm just guessing like everyone else, but if you keep your use MINIMAL, like 1xweek tops, preferably less, I can't see it being a problem. If you smoke once and freak out, I guess you'll know it's not for you anymore, but I think moderation is the key. I certainly wouldn't go back to smoking every day or whatever. I do think that it'spossible to let your mind run away from you a little bit if you do that.

 

Howdy grapefruity, man I can truly relate to you there, I believed I was a future MI6 agent being recruited lol


I see what your saying regarding being able to see through the bullshit that our minds conjure up. If one has experienced going lupo, its like you know what to expect now. like you'll be able to see the seams coming open and prevent them before its too late. Truthfully man, your post is to be taken as advice as I haven't spoken to one persons who has experienced a psychosis until yourself.

Stayloose, thanks man for that, its true that if I go west immediately after smoking, never touch the stuff again and if it doesn't moderate my use.

Your right regarding every day use man, I truly did live in a dream world.

Thanks everyone for your advice on this and i really didn't think i would get any replies but you all surprised me. cheers.