I'm not sure if this belongs in the "gay" section or not, but it pertains more to the "love" aspect of my life, because it could happen to anyone, gay or straight. Me and my boyfriend (I am a male) broke up about a month and a half ago, and I was the one who initiated the separation. He didn't really seem too hurt by it. After a couple weeks I started wanting him back really badly, as we had chosen to be "friends with benefits" (a term referring to continuing intimacy, however without a definite commitment). I was afraid to ask him, though, because he was showing interest in an ex-boyfriend of his own. This past Friday, I was on the verge of asking him out again, when he tells me that he's met someone online. I didn't really take it seriously, however, because in my experience online relationships are all about sex. He met this person online that day and they talked on the telephone for a couple of hours. Then he went to see him at 1:30am. I was worried sick, as he didn't arrive home until 4:30am. I became extremely jealous of his new relationship, and began asking him alot of questions about it, and told him of my plans to ask him back out. He responded by saying that he would have said yes, but that now it was too late. It ended up that they had defined their relationship as "boyfriends" officially the next day. He began saying he loved him on the phone that day as well. We had plans to attend a St. Patrick's day party on Saturday, and he ended up bringing his new boyfriend. I hadn't eaten it two days, and did 5-6 shots of 80 proof vodka within a period of 20 minutes. I ended up crying, sobbing, and hugging all of my friends (including my ex, right in front of his new boyfriend) and finally went to sleep. I awoke around 4am to find them cuddling on the floor at the foot of the bed in which I was sleeping. This hurt me more than words can possibly describe. He now shows all the little signs of affection to his new guy that he used to show to me. I can't help but hate myself sometimes, because my timing was off by a couple of hours. Now I just start crying randomly and have this constant sinking feeling in my chest. We are still very close to each other, and he says he loves me all the time, but it's not the same. I don't expect it to be. I don't know what to do. We live together in an arrangement that does not make room for either one of us to leave, unless we wanted to live in the street. I was wondering if anyone had any advice they could give on this situation. Anything at all would be appreciated. Thank you.
umm yikes why cant either of u leave? but all ucan do is be honnesst..communicate..& wait n see if this new fling happened that quickly, it might go away just as fast
I would definently think that you should have just forgot this guy no friends with benefits or anything at least for awhile people always do that, and mess things up further if you guys can't be in a relationship, you can't keep on being intimate, it's just teasing your feelings you should have been spending the last 1 and a half months getting over him, slowly learning how to focus on yourself, and how to get back into the single life start that now.
if its not meant to be its not meant to be. id say you need to find a way to move on and move up, find smoeone new when youre healed up
Well if he told the kid he loved him after knowing him after what, a week... less? I wouldn't put too much stock in it. You'll move on, I promise. The kid sounds like a total woman to me. No good can come outta that shit.
Okay, Slothguy, you're an asshole. If you are positive you love him, and I am definitely one to believe in love for all, don't give up.
well for what its worth, if you love the guy then you have to decide how much you can handle if you want to remain in any kind of intimate relationship, however it sounds like your self asteem and and self confidence are being consumed by this and no one is worth losing those over, and if I was you I would distance myself and give myself time to heal and then look elsewhere. or at least give yourself some space to get some perspective about what you really want from a partner and decide if he can live up to your criteria, if not then he isnt worth the heart ache your investing in this.
ease up Terry... its called joking around. what, are homosexual jokes off limit now? go cry if you have a problem
