Well, I'll start off by saying I just got out of a 4 year relationship a few months ago, and last week I had my first 'one night stand'. Before that I had only had sex with my ex-boyfriend, so this was a big deal for me, not somthing I would ever have thought I'd do. I'm still pretty hung up on my ex even though he's an ass... I don't really feel bad about it exactly, the sex wasn't really worth it, but that's beside the point I guess. And there's another guy, a good friend of mine, who I'm sure I could have sex with if I tried, but that's all I want is just sex from him, nothin else. I just can't help thinking about how out of character is this for me... I guess I'm just wondering anyone else's opinion on my situation, if what i did was wrong or similar situations, or whatever. I'm not really too sure how to think of my behavior...
I don't think you need to be in a rush so soon after ending such a long relationship. It sounds like you may be thinking of sex as a way to medicate your feelings about the breakup. Do you really think being promiscuous is going to make you feel better about yourself? Be careful, this could easily backfire on you. When it comes to sex, honesty is extremely important, honesty with your partners but most importantly with yourself. Is casual sex what you really want? Also, you should be very, very careful about starting a sexual relationship with a good friend. It could easily ruin the friendship. If you decide to do it anyway, you damn sure better be upfront and honest with him about your motives BEFORE you have sex with him!
I think once in a while lots of us go through this. Way back before I got married (yes when I was single) I had a one night stand or two it wasn't planned obviously but it happened. Then I had the gut friend that we didn't want to date but we both wanted to get laid so instead of sleeping around me and him became what we called Fuckbuddies if we wanted laid we slept with each other. It worked forus and then we were not sleeping around with alot of people. Of course that came to a screaching holt when one of us found someone we wanted to actually have a relationship with. So yes I have been ther and found the situation above to work for me. Bythe way we are both married to different people now and still keep contact with each other our spouses know our pasts and they get along but that could be because we are across the counry fromeach other. Oh by the way there wre no feelings between me and him ever just both of us filling a need.
i think you should have a think about your situation before you do anything else.. the last thing you wanna do is reck your friendship with them.. good luck
just be playful - when i broke up with my ex of about 6 years (he was my first), i felt like he robbed me of all that time, went out, found a fuck buddy. three months later i had a mad crush on him, told him and peaced out. what i realized after that 3 months is that i just wanted someone to goof off with and make out once in a while. sex is sex is sex. it never really fills that void let by an ex or a broken heart. i'd say not to screw 'round with your buddy (i went down that road too). keep that friendship. flirty attention and playfulness with a good guy friend can be WAY better than any one night stand. plus, you don't really want emotions to come into play after such a short time being single. enjoy yourself, masturbate daily, know that you are a powerful woman that doesn't need a penis to feel complete. hope it helps
Why are you in need to slap some value-judgement onto your behavior? Just like when you say you just want to fuck your friend, nothing else. Another category...Abstraction is what makes women so fucking boring.
Wrong. She's too careful as it is. The world needs women who are more daring, not more careful than they already are. Crissakes... BTW, if a friendship is ruined because of sex, either you're not on the same page with your friend, or the friendship was a farce, like so many of them...
Maybe it's only out of character because you've been playing the same character for four years! Maybe this is a side of you that you've never seen because you were in a monogamous (sp?) relationship (assumedly) for four years and you've never had a chance to let this side out.
My advice was meant to help her decide what's best for HER emotional well-being, not what's best for the world. While casual sex with multiple partners can be a lot of fun as I can tell you from experience, it's not automatically good for everyone. In fact it can be very harmful to one's well-being, especially if they aren't truly comfortable with the idea. Such a lifestyle is not for everybody.
After four years of commitment you owe it to yourself to take a little while to explore who you are. Most people have had a one nite stand at some point... it may not be your style but it's really just being human. DixieBaby
Fair enough. So long as we acknowledge the amount of pressure women are put through to remain careful, passive, and flee from all that is other than the trodden path, and all that is experimental in nature. It seems to me obvious that the thread-starter feels that pressure. It is up to her to distinguish what it is that her nose tells her, and what is internalized sexual oppression of women.
It's not a matter of "internalized sexual oppression of women" It's just a matter of the type of woman she is. Some girls are just too emotional about sex and can't do it without a relationship. Others can do it, but cant really enjoy it without emotions involved And some others can have sex just for sex. Just from looking at this girl pics, I think that she's not gonna be able to enjoy sex without a relationship (one night stand, fuck buddies etc.) She's got a lot of emotions on her face, and she's the kind of girl who needs a lot of warm around her (something you can get only in a relationship)
And for you cutie One thing i don't get here... OK, you had sex with this guy, so you obviously found him attractive before (at least to some level) so why cant you meet him again ? Even just for talking... As for your situation... obviously you're missing the sex. After all these years having regular sex.... could be a little hard at the beginning being alone As i said in my previous post, I don't think that you are the kind of girl to enjoy sex without emotions Just focus on meeting new people, figure out what kind of a man you want as your boyfriend and try to find one that fits your needs. You're a pretty girl you'll find one sooner than you think
there is nothing wrong with casual sex as long as your not hurting the parties involved especially your own and you use protection. if all you want from this guy is the pleasure of his dick i say "GO FOR IT" SOMETIMES WHEN WE ARE IN A LONG TERM RELATIONSHIP THE SEX STARTS TO SUCK AND GETS BORING SO NOW IS YOUR CHANCE TO HAVE FUN.
