I would first like to say that I have NO problem with guys watching porn while single or in relationships. My boyfriend and I have been together for about a year and a half. I knew he watched porn and vice versa. Lately though (last month or so) he's been watching it more and wanting sex less. I went through the whole "is it my fault" BS until I just stopped caring. Now I just masturbate and watch porn as a substitute. But here's the thing: he gets mad at me! He says that when I masturbate I'm shutting him out, that doesn't make any freaking sense to me. He can jack off all he wants and I have to deal with it, but the second the vibrator comes out I have a problem. Is me or does this not make any sense?
thats rather hypocrticial of him yeah. ask him why hee feels threatened, why he feels he has the right to masturbate to the point of losing interst in sex itself yet you dont get to at all
This kinda sounds what I am going through only I just get pissed an go to bed without getting off. I found all the porn sites and sex cams in the internet history just a couple days ago yet he says he hasn't been on them in forever...
The cause and effect are backwards. It's not that he isn't interested in sex because he masturbates. It's that he watches porn because he isn't interested in sex. To the thread-starter: I've been there, and that was an issue in the 3 year relationship I had. Your boyfriend is fantasizing about other women, that is why he is insecure about your vibrator. He associates masturbation with desiring other sexual partners. You have to ask him, with a questioning attitude rather than an aggressive attitude, about his fantasies. Let him tell you who he fantasizes about and what situations. It's the only route to getting on the same page again and recovering your sex life. Porn and prostitution are essentially symptoms of sexual oppression.
Thank you guys for replying. Fexurbis, we do talk about fantasies...And he always tells me that he doesn't think about the women he watches, he just likes looking at the act that's going on. I've asked him why he gets mad at me and he doesn't say anything. Then he'll have sex with me for 5 minutes like that's going to sastify me.
hypocrites suck my friend was just bitching abotu how he's not trusted around certain girls, but he's suppossed to trust her around all guys personally, I would make him end this ridiculous-ness or end the relationship but whatever you do, you can not let him continue acting this way
It is my impression that he's not telling you all. When I had the same issue, what I was holding back was the fact that I wanted other women. Do you fantasize about other men? Maybe you should tell him about it, and put 'em in a position where he feels it's ok to put the cards on the table.
I agree that it is hypocritical of him. You should be able to get off on your own without it bothering him. He should support you and want to masturbate when you need to, but certainly he shouldn't let your needs for sex with him go unmet. I've been in his shoes already. I was more interested in the stuff on the Internet because my partner was not interested in many of my fantasies. I'm very open-minded, and even venture into taboo acts, so I had to fill those needs by watching others on the net, as I do to this day because I'm having trouble finding a mate that is as kinky as me. This may not be his situation, but I've got a hunch that most guys are after some fetish online, and not just other women. Also, by masturbating, he is spending some of his sexual energy/desire on the net, so this does lower what energy he may have for you. Sure, some guys can keep up with all of it, but if they drop the masturbation for a while, they'll persue their partner more for release. My suggestion is to look at the sexual stuff on the internet together and share fantasies and fetishes.
RawAndNatural: We tried watching porn together, he doesn't like mine and I don't really like his. I've tried to indulge his fantasies (anal, S&M, ect.) and I've even offered to do a threesome because that's a fantasy we both share..he got mad at the threesome, and he swears he doesn't want to be with other women. When I offer an open relationship he gets mad, so does that mean he doesn't want to have sex at all? When I tell him I'm not sastifyed he apolgizes and says he'll try harder...which doesn't happen...
