ha, i never post here. but im just in need of some opinions so there is this new girl at work i met last week. we talked quite a bit and as i was getting to know her i really started to like her. besides being cute, shes very smart and we seem to be on the same level. I wanna ask her out, but im not very good at timing this sort of stuff out. For the next month (as far as i know) i will only get to see her once a week, and thats only when i leave my shift and she comes to start hers on saturdays. We plan on going to the same concert together on may 1st, but thats a long ways away. i might ask the manager if i can do an extra day of work on the same day as her or something so my questions are, when would be the right time to ask her out? should i just wait until the concert to get to know her better? and do you think it matters much that she is 4 years older then me? im sure i know the answers, but i would like advice from someone who might have good experience with relationships. i suck at em concidering i have never been able to start one, and this is the first girl i have really liked in a loooong time, so i dont wanna screw this up
I would say any time to ask her is a good time, only talk to her first for a few mins to make sure she is in a good mood. just ask her if she is busy this weekend,and if she's not would she maybe like to do something, taking her for a meal would be a good start. I think your probably holding back out of fear of rejection . just go for it.
that sounds like what i had in mind. you got that right about the whole fear of rejection thingy...gotta get past that. that mo-fo has been holdin me back for years :$ im thinking i may just wait a few weeks anyhow, just so i dont come on to strong thanks for the advice
Ask her out for coffee the next time you see her. Coffee is innocent, don't make it look like a "date" or something... just relax, ya know... and chat with her... talk about life. I take girls out for coffee all the time in college and it doesn't even have to be romantic. It's just coffee, and at the same time you can get to know each other better... so that when you're both at the concert and your favourite song comes on and so on she'll feel more comfortable around ya and you can truly enjoy a laid back atmosphere instead of the pressure of getting to know each other and the lack of shared ground.
I think one of the most important things to remember in beginning a relationship, if that's in fact what you're pursuing with this girl, is to keep it simple. No expectations for the first date. It may be difficult to keep things simple; but simple is better than getting complicated and having things not work out. Go ahead.... I say ask her out. Let her know that you'd like to get together for only a short time just to get to know her; to see if you'd like to get to know each other better. Most women appreciate something simple to begin with; there's no pressure. I actually wouldn't even buy anything for that first date, but plan your date simple; a couple hours only. If she sees you a second time, maybe a simple lunch or movie; maybe (1) rose, to let her know that you like her. Also, obviously you said that you haven't liked anyone in a long time. Don't come across as needy in any way. With that, I wouldn't be overly affectionate unless you're looking for one night stand; which, it doesn't appear that you are. I would probably call her that same night to get a feel if she's interested. Play it cool with not a lot of overload of affectionate gestures. From a woman's point of view, we don't like men that seemingly appear to be lost without a woman. Just some adivce that I hope helps. Anytime, you need to an opinion, if you don't post here, just send me an email. Good luck.
I agree with BraveSirRubin. That way theres no "romantic" pressure, and no expectations. Just coffee.
I'm moreso the type that waits for a perfect moment for everything, haha... and sometimes you overshoot.
Going for Coffee is always a good start like BraveSirRubin said because Then you are able to actually talk and get to know someone but its public so there is no presure either. If that goes well you can always plan another get together tha is simple with no expectations. Then if you wish wait to plan the next get together to be the concert. Just let things go at their own course other than that.
thats the best idea i've ever heard. hell, i should of started doing that in high school. i'll do it thanks alot
19 and 23 is nothin, ask her out for coffee or tea (like everyone above mes uggested lol) say youd like to talk about something other than work or other than in a work environment with her
Man, I wish I had some good advice for you, but... I'm not great at this, either. But I hope it works out well for you... and her!
she quit for no really good reason either...according do her co-worker, she was doing "everything right", which is not something you hear often about interns at my studio. it really bums me out...its as if i was born to live a celebate and lonely life maybe i'll still see her at the concert next month
the way my BF and i hooked up was this: He got and F on a quiz and looked really sad so i said "Will nachos make it better?" and we walked down to taco bell and i got two orders of nachos and sat and talked for hours.
