Fictional Jobs

I am trying to write a resume I can use in Europe but all I really know how to do is use a cash register and answer phone calls and put things on shelves, my only special talent is the ability to pass wind at will.

I need to embellish it a little, any suggestions?

 

your using a computer right now...say you have strong computer and interpersonal skills

 

Make sure you pick a fake place and say they have since went out of business... I've done that before and it worked.

 

Say you once piloted the Exxon Valdez; quality checked o-rings for the Space Shuttle progam in the early 80s; and served as official speech therapist for George Bush.

 

well you work well alone, you are experienced with problem resolution and pay attention to detail.

 

Unicorn Mastaurbater?

 

In other words, you have experience in producing alternative fuel sources.

 

Ha ha, that was great!

 

I have a gift for BS