Are you looking for someone that is very similiar to you? Do you desire to share life with someone that has the same religious and political views as yourself? What about similiar goals and interest? For most of us, I think the answer is obvious, but some people are looking for more similarity in a partner than others. I've been doing a bit of reading on the subject of relationships. Studies have found that relationships between people that are very similiar and have "compatible" differences are the most successful relationships. I have felt this all along, and this information ecourages me to wait to find someone that has the qualities that I'm looking for. Nevertheless, I get discouraged. The qualities that I'm looking for are not mainstream, or very common. I'm quite alternative. While I've met women on the forum that have the same perspectives as myself on various issues, they don't have enough in common with me across the board. Alas, among the few that share many of my interest, they are married or attatched. I still wonder, am I asking for too much? Usually, I don't feel that I'm asking for too much, because I've been in relationships that were lacking. I know what I'm looking for. I'm looking for someone that is similiar to me in these areas: Politics and religion. (beliefs about politics and religion go hand in hand, and there is usually a relation between the two. Also, I believe that these core values are the foundation of a person's decision making.) Giving recieving affection. Verbal intimacy. Environmentalism. Views about money and materialism. Health/excersise. Beliefs about SEX, LOVE, and relationships. (I'm not just looking for sexual compatibility, but it is very important to me.) Children Choice of place to live. Love for animals. Similiar interest/hobbies. Mutual physical attraction to each other. (remember, beuaty is in.....etc) These are the areas that matter to me. Am I asking for too much? So, what values and interest are important to you?
heh. I sort of agree being able to have fun wiht someone is just as important as sharing common goals and values. Both are needed for me!
i want some similarities... similar enough itnerest to talk about stuff mutual respect similar interests in the bedroom (though not with both of us being submissive, that's -too- similar) similar wants in kids (marriage im pretty neutral about truth be told) want to live in the same kind of areas (itd suck if one person wanted ot live in say Australi and hte other wanted to live in Finland yknow?) that sort of shit. basic compatibility shit
I think the more similar you are to someone, the better the chances of it being long term are. But I mean beyond superficialities. The same general outlook on life and the same state of mind are vital. Most relationships end when you start to realize that everything you had in common really wasn't anything at all, and at your core you are two completely different people who can't agree on anything. Nobody fights over an agreement. Nobody leaves someone else over a shared interest. Opposites attract; but only for so long.
similar... is good but it's the differences that make things interesting. similarities mean that you are compatible? maybe so, but not necessarily. i wouldn't want to date a clone of myself with breasts. (she'd be pretty hot though i have to admit)
Yes, having the same general outlook on life is what I'm talking about. I also agree that when opposites attract there is a bit of nevelty, but it wears off as the infatuation fades. Natural Philosophy has a good point. Leil Lowndess has written a good book about love and relationships. She said that relationships between partners that are mostly similiar, but have differences that complement eachother, make for the longest lasting relationships. For instance, say that your partner is mostly just like you, but is different in a few ways that you like. Your partner's differences should be traits that you would like to see in yourself, even though you don't have those traits. In other words, their differences are things that you look up to, as oposed to feeling uncomfortable with them and choosing to overlook them. I left out something very important. In another book that I was reading at the local book store, the author mentioned that having similiar values, interest, and hobbies are what people should be looking for, but these are all "what can this person do for me" type qualities, which are fine, but something else is more important for long lasting love. The author says that loving a person's character is what makes for a lasting relationship. Character as in the way that they treat others, do they give, are they kind, how do they react when upset, and are they trustworthy. These can make or break lasting love that holds on when other things fade or change.
Screw a damn book, everyone is different and anything can happen. If it doesnt work it doesnt work, that cant really be determined unless there is obvious hatred between two people. And even then...
i'm facing the same problem here it just too hard 2 find a person who share the same things u r .. it disapointme in many ways as u say i'm a comicated person & it's hard 2 find a person like me cuz I try everything in my life & grap a bit from each t ing 2 make myself perfect or 2 live my life with as many experiences as I can I think the most important things I want in a person is : -2 b funny & enjoy life - love 2 give 4 this life - have some goals he wanna achieve in his life - A Dreamer! - Respect other ppl - love me but not in a sick way -not an empty minded person :/
Hope B, I hope that you find a guy like you are looking for someday. Lots of girls put funny at the top of their list. It makes me a little worried, because I'm not funny around new people at all, then I'm just a little funny after someone gets to know me well, and I'm comfortable around them.
having a sense of humour is usually the base requirement, even if you cant inspire laughter at least you can appreciate it
