Purple magic frost Over your eyes Eats at my heart Like drug filled skies My breath beats slow Over your neck I restrain myself To one little peck But then you hold me And I fall to that place Where all my curses Take second place And the way your eyes Used to rest on me Makes me wish You still saw me
Gypsy woman Sliding over land Giving to every human What ever is in hand Clothing doesn't matter So long as the vibe's right When it's time to scatter She just takes flight What she looks for No one can tell But we know it's more Than anyone can sell
This acrid deception Is my reception To a perilous situation And my fixation To deny the authentic For the excentric Ignoring humanity To save my sanity Killing my emotion For my devotion To love before I die And still I deny That I need it
Be your friend And help My goal this time Nothing more Or less So fine Listen when you talk And hold Your tears aside Let you breathe The world Confide Make you trust I'm good You'll see Help you heal And live Carefree
Sometimes it's like this world Doesn't know me at all It just stands on it's stoop While it's watching me fall So with my face in the mud I hold my stand and crawl Until I look up and I'm Face to face with a wall But I just climb to the top And I shout out a call "You can hold me down But I won't always be so small."
A child of the elements Peace is my domain Rejecting all the things That have caused me pain Giving in to all My better intentions Displaying all My worst defections Aside form the slander Aside from the hate I believe this world As a splendid fate. Ok sorry guys, didn't mean to obsess there, but once I start it's hard to stop. Hope you like them. <3
I do like them. They are sweet little sugar cookies. I like them because they are morsels - all pretty concise in that you pick a topic and give the reader a specific feeling about that topic, not like the great rambling sloppy epics that sometimes come on here (that are just as valuable but not my aesthetic pick because they are so difficult to write well you know!) I think I also like these because you don't use many adjectives or adverbs, which when overused are pretty much the kiss of death in a lot of teen poetry, and when you do use them it is in such a judicious way that I can't help but like them ("acrid deception" = wicked cool)! awwwwww yayy you are awesome, but one thing I would say is give your poetry a longer gestation period. If you write something, let it sit for a few days before you post it. It's hard to resist, I know, but looking at it with a fresh eye after a period of time allows you to change certain things that maybe you wouldn't have noticed in the heat of the moment... it will let you be a much better communicator, and I think you are defintely headed in that direction right now as it is! ^_^ good luck and keep writing.
Oh, thanks so much. I'm glad you like my choice of words. I always thought maybe I was a little too point-blank with my writing but that's just what spills out. I appreciate the advice and I'll try that.
