Auntie Beeb and Uncle Dogmeat

This is nothing fancy I wrote it all in about 1/2 hour while typing it direct into this thread so I make no claims for it being a good piece of writing but hopefully an interesting little scene from a story

The telivision sings and dances and talks to itself in a dark and otherwise empty room, apart from the bed and the cockroaches. Next door in another bedroom sits Fred. Freddie 39 years old, slightly Bald, never had a GF - wanks 4 times a day and never mops up - no-one visits anyhow and if youre a dustbin man your place stinks of the rotting vegetables acuz uv your overalls anyhow. What's there to do? why bother mopping up when theres a shitload of programming to saunter through and get to grips with - whats the hurry man?

Ok Freddie, 39 slightly bald, never had a GF, has a bad tooth, and his pad has a pervasive smell of domestos that he pours all round in the hope that it keeps down the population of cockroaches and bedbugs. Two bottles a week - mixed into the smell of rotting vegetables from his overalls-
The blue glare from the tv screen is more pervasive in the corridor than the blueish glare of the computer monitor -

His reading glasses are alight with the reflections as he leafs through a dense chapter on data routing for digital tv and telephone systems and streaming data servers. So what's going on in that mind? Well even Freddie aint particularly clear on the issue - theres an end game he's aiming to play and he dont know if its for money or fame or both but its certainly an aggreived adventure.

He sinks his tooth into the coldsore on his lip and scrapes the scab off. wipes away the blood and puss, while tapping the keys for half an hour - suddenly the screen is alight with flashing symbols and a simulation of a whole data network complete with Freeview channels and their place within the bandwidth. serverside and enduser - Freddie burps, clicks off the monitor - goes nextdoor and drops down onto his inflatable bed.

Two hours later the alarm rings - He goes to work - gets covered in other peoples shit from emptying half of the worlds produce into a dustcart - showers at work puts his overalls back on and then he goes home again -

After pizza and a can of coke which he chucks into the corner of the room when he's finished with em - he gets back on to the computer.
tap tap tap tap tap tappetty tappetty tap (stop) looks round - total silence- picks up the air pistol slowly - swings round on his executive chair and PHOOT! BWACK! he fires into a pile of discarded pizza boxes. a small spatter of blood on the back wall indicates a dead rat.

He decides to sit cross-legged on the chair just incase its only tomato ketchup ! 7000 lines of code roll by before he stops the autoscroll and BINGO ! at last thats the bastard he's been looking for these past 5 days -
Thinks and then opens a hole between line 12750 and line 12751
all the lower lines renumber themselves - cuts and pastes in the new line to call routine "subvert" - back to simulation zone 1

President Bullshit was on TV next door saying "This is a great day in the history of our nation" -

Freddie was now redundant his job was complete - he had trained for 10 years - taught himself more about computers than most people will ever know and yet he was humble - he saw himself as a cog.
Time to call Bill.

"Bill, I think we have a green light"
"Ok Freddie I will put your code to Frank"
"Drop it in with maximum encription to server 3 up at Finland"
" Bill I cant do this no more - I'm losing interest till I clean up my pad or get the fuck outa here"
"Hey Freddie hang loose - We know youre a G - youll have what you want soon"
"Dont fuck me up on this Bill, you know I'm sick a bein taken for a fuckwit"
"relax dude - sleep is all - sleep is all - when your job is done - aint nothing more than sleep - destroy your notes dude"
"notes - I dont make notes I just type "
click !

three days later during a wank over a picture of PJ Harvey, the phone rings

"Its green, freddie - its green - and your account number is: 863409823
pin 6653
name of Ryan W Hilsburg - you'll find the card under a car tyre in the alley behind number 54 York Road. Oh and keep your TV on tomorrow and dont go to work - yours is the work thats green - the others didnt finish on time - you are the man"

Freddie takes his card from under the bed - walks to the tyre in the alley behind York Road grabs that card goes to the cash machine - balance £72,300

goes back to his computer - transfers the entire balance to his account in Holland - Balance 98,031.94

Freddie gags on a totally loaded rollup - vomits over a plastic bag by the bed - falls asleep -

dreams that his reading glasses are broken and that a huge bird has carried them to a nest at the top of a tree. Wakes up - freezing cold at six - TV blaring out the music to some old cowboy film - Flops his chap out and finishes off the PJ Harvey wank

Flicks the TV up to chanell 22 where theres a phone in game and, for the first time in nearly two years - he begins to smile - on the screen is the name FREDDIE with 22,000 points just ahead of bill with 18,000 points and Harry with 9000 points - but if that is mysterious to the game company they will think it even more mysterious whenn all their money they were slaving so hard to rip off from people is diverted to causes such as the Union of African Farmworkers Against Capitalism, The Brazillian Flamingo Union of Beanpickers, and 700 other worthy causes - in one 24 hour stint they net from all these bastards the length and breadth of Europe that are screwing people with fixed games 27,600,000 - hows that for charity when none of the money can be traced? He wished he knew the plants that worked in the banks - he had dreamt of personal fortune - but he was glad the group had wised up and split the programmers and plants into cells unknown to each other - This time he laughed "ha and you all thought it was just Linux V's Microsoft"
Freddie 39 never had a GF works as a bin-man stinks of cabbage wanks 4 times a day and doesnt own a suit and is half bald- knows a fuck load about computers though !
It was time to go - time to move on to bigger things - next stop The USA and its banks

 

I wish some of our American cousins would deliver this kind of quality. Bravo sentient. Come on Yanks. You're letting the side down. Let's hear it dudes.

Sentient keep it rolling man. This vision would make good film. I think wanking 4 times a day though is too much. Not every day. Maybe 4 one day, three the next, two the day after, and none on Sunday if he's a catholic.

 

ok maybe this could be another scene

ROUTINE SUBVERT

The way Freddie saw things now didnt matter - it was likely that he would speak to Bill again but it wasnt necessary. If he was frugal he could live for 10 years on that money and with programming investments in the capitalists system - well he already had a steady drip of £25 a day coming in from 1400 different sources thats an incredibly small amount from each one and it pays not to be greedy. £25 a day is great if you live on pizza and Diet coke its about £15 a day more than unemployment benifits

Freddie gets out of bed and opens a locked drawer - pulls out three packages - opens em - drags on a pair of jeans that still have the price tag fixed, a nice crisp brand new shirt and tie and a bomber jacket - takes a hammer from a toolbox and spends an hour in the backyard smashing a hard-drive and the rest of the computer into small peices
Packing the whole thing into a suitcase he headed out to his works yard and threw the lot into the incinerator before heading up the steps to the boss.

After handing in his belated notice he was free

7 Hours earlier
This was not the situation Jack found himself in. Jack was a plant. Worked in, what is known as, "the clearing house" - this is a secure data transmission server centre where all the data from the television stations is collated and broadcast over a single wavelength of the allocated tv spectrum before being decoded by the freeview box- all the data is sifted and filtered for rogue transmissions (gov'ts insist - they dont want any old anarchist butting in on prime time propoganda shows like "Richard and Judy". Oh the darlings of bourgeois - a couple of prime petit bourgeois toyed with while they were useful and had a fan base and now merely toys. They were too kitch these days and had to be "let go of" sooner or later - oh and it used to be later a long time ago but its so much sooner now. Government knows how easy it is to decrypt and infiltrate transmission data.

Jack plugged in the laptop in its hiding place beneath the false floorboards
this was a precision operation - the two other clearing houses had the same setup installed - well he knew they must have. It works like this:
Three transmissions are sent from three clearing houses to a shipment server - the shipment server analyses the data from all three and if one is different to the the other two transmissions across a two second time slice it alerts the operators and chooses to transmit the most credible source of data. the clearing houses are the last point at which data can be interupted before transmission one set of wires plug into the ethernet port another into the printer port and a box made of plastic and wrapped in tape sticks out of the usbport - that was it - that was his job for which he was told to expected £19,500. His hands shook as pressed the button on the usb box. a sequence of red and green lights signalled some kind of data transaction and he replaced the floor tile and got on with his job - that was it - all he did was hook up to the two transmission servers and pressed the synch button like he was told -

then he put everything into unmonitored mode - grabbed his coat and left the building

His mobile phone started ringing
"This is Graham, did you do what we told you Jack"?
"yes "
"It didnt hurt did it"?
Jack laughed "Only when I realised I aint that rich after all - I'm leaving a 25000 job for a 19 and a half lump sum"
"theres a bonus Jack - dont worry we are good to our friends - go to the pub in Brevvin Street, The coopers arms, under the table next to the picture of Vera Lynne is your card its held in place with some blu tack
- pin 5546 account 077692892 name John Bexhall - Have a good year
ya got that ? pin 5546"

Jack took the bus and when he got there ordered a double vodka with Lemon. Ripped the card fromn under the table and gulped the rest of the poison down in one go. It may be a capitalist drink but by golly its a goodun.

At the cash point machine - balance £26,750
he took the card to his computer in his bedsit and transferred all the money to an account in Mexico balance £30,270.34
then transferred that to an account in Germany - balance £30,603.79
takes the battery out of his phone - and puts the phone in a sink full of water. grabs two suits, packs a suitcase, then runs the bath till its a quarter full switches the laptop back on and drops it into the bath - grabs his coat and heads to Manchester Airport -
"Ah it'll be a grand day in Dublin tomorrow - wonder what New York will be like"?

5 hours later on the plane to Dublin - he flicks on the TV and gets into chanel 27 - The game data says Henry2 1690 - Bill 500 - Freddie 200
All the gamestats are with names vaguely familiar as belonging to the Anarchist Charity Organisation

Jack laughed - held the glass of wine high enough to offer a clink of glass to the stranger next to him - "To you sir, to you whoever you are whatever your life is like" the glasses clinked "well heres to a good flight and a good holiday " said the stranger

Jack wondered how the telephones had been subverted but it really didnt matter so long as he had a decent bank account - it really didnt matter how he envisaged things - it was only what he knew about television and what irritated him about the worlds politics that mattered

 

Ok flopping his chap out was a bit much - but from what I can gather about male habits its not uncommon - but I have yet to hear about anyone having a PJ Harvey five knuckle shuffle so maybe it did defy realism in that respect. I did think he could find Carol Thatcher appealing but that would be like bestiality - maybe next time he will crack-one-off while thinking about a convent

 

The phone system

"Ok we want you to phone in now - we are giving away ten..... thousand ...pounds to anyone who phones in with the right answers - look no-one has got the answer we are going out live and just to prove it its Thursday and 3:30am on Thursday morning - I am going to take another phonecall in just a few moments - come on now we want girls names begining with "G" it couldnt be simpler girls names beginning with G just keep phoning we are lifting the bar now - its going up to TW EN TY THOUSAND POUUUUUUUUUNDS - come on phone your answers now - we've already had Glenda, Germaine, someone phoned in asking if it was "Gordon" honestly how many girls do you know called "gordon" ?

It was all complete bollocks and the only people who dont know it are the people who are so desperately poor - the elderly, and the doleys and the immigrants, and those who the government are pissing about because they were caught supplementing their dole with some good honest toil in McDeaths and dodgy factories producing pirated CD's. These people phone in fully believeing that someone won the £10 prize - the 100 the 250 and the 500 and they desperately want to be that person so they waste £7.50 a throw on trying to get on TV to guess the answers thinking they might even win the 20 grand - but the sad sad truth is - not a penny is seen by anyone outside the sleazey little bastards grimy fingers in the game companies offices. Then the books are diddled to pass the government inspections - oh everyone is happy - the presenters all know the truth as do all the companies workers.

Roger is an accountant. Trained for 15 years to get this position - he's as bored as fuck. His real passion is the guitar and the works of The Velvet Underground, The Doors, and The Pixies. Theres not a lot he doesnt know about accounting procedure, he even had to dumb down his qualifications to get the job. Although he knew the score and his truly great achievement is in having mastered techniques of human psychological manipulation that the CIA and MI6 would pay enormous amounts of money to learn. He could blag the hind leg off a donkey - just by staging a sort of stage act and by being quick witted its something he perfected over the course of his 44 years of life.

He hated this job - but he played the part of a corrupt bastard really well - and the art of it was to simply laugh at the mugs and laugh at his own cunning in front of others with whom he supposedly shared an interest in deception. Deciept and especially deciept of those who decieve became second nature - in reality his priciples were to work for those that capitalism destroyed and decieved - his ambitions were purely polititical.

His job was therefore simple - to rewrite the books and present a third set of books. To merely facilitate the transfer of funds to the accounts of the winners - who just happened to be those who apparently won on the day in question. There wouldnt be any questions from the myriad of phone operators - there werent infact any phone operators - just some fake actors who pretended to be legitimate callers. Most of the games were done by mobile phone anyway and for that he merely had to know the sequence in which the games would be won by which names and transfer the money into all of the accounts all 200 accounts.

He didnt even know who the other plant was but there had to be one.
There had to be a plant somewhere in presentation or directing.

Ah but was he bothered - he had already paid himself £40,000 of that he was sure. Never in the history of these games had anyone won the £20,000
prize - he knew one thing - every day these companies made around £450,000 a day - yeah ! fucking stupid money

bout time these leeches were ripped and today he had the green light


to be continued

but first its competition time : look all you people out there phone now on 872678672762 and answer this simple question
In the UK Tony Blair is
a)The prime minister
b)The Queen
c)A whoppin big arsed Prostitute

all calls cost a minimum of £2.50 but no more than £3.50
you could win todays prize of £30,000 if you are selected as the winner
all rights reserved to reject your answer on the grounds that you arent enough of a twat to give the incorrect answer

 

The accountant now memo'd the directors and reminded them that the books would be sent to inland revenue at 6:30pm - It was now 12 mid day and not unusual for him to do a 24 hr stint on zero day (the day when the books had to go to the revenue accountants) - the people who normally phoned in with the answers to these games were at home and making calls - the scripts had been switched and those making correct answers were patched into the telephone system the anarchists were also at home making the same calls but their calls were the ones the computers were programmed to patch through on que. The regular callers would assume it was a new employee of the company that was being put through. This is what the script looked like

Andy = the presenter

Andy (10 minutes of banter) then:
phone rings
"we've got Jez from Hull on the line

caller 1 Jez from Hull "Andy, is the name Gaynor"?
tension music for 20 seconds
failures sound effect
Andy "Oh Jez - I'm ever so sorry mate, its not Gaynor - Oh I feel gutted I really do - Anyway try again Jez dont give up youve had two goes tonight already"

Andy (5 minutes of banter)
caller 2 Mary from Fife in Scotland
Hello mary - now think about this mary - no dont say anything now my love - I want to remind you, its not Gaynor, weve had Gayle it wasnt Gayle

blah blah blah - the script goes on like that for an hour till

caller 6 Freddie from Bath in England
Hello Freddie - thats an unusual name isnt it
FREDDIE: oh I dont know about that andy - I'm one of the dreamers anyway

Andy: well lets hope your dreaming pays off so for £250 Freddie and remember if you get this you get a chance at the jackpot £20,000 later on
FREDDIE : Gloria, Andy, is it Gloria
tension music for 20 seconds
success sound
Andy leaps around the studio at last we have a winner - ha ha ha ha
I cant believe it you won £250 - what will you spend it on Freddie?

FREDDIE " Oh I dont know Andy, maybe a coupla pints for all my mates and a new DVD Player and a new mobile phone for the missus

Andy: "Ok have a good one Freddie - nice one mate"

same script different games new names but essentially the same
all the small prizes go then somehow 8 hours later all the players from those games are mysteriously on the line again to play for the jackpot

same in the whole of europe - all the money adds up and so long as the books are presented right - everyone is satisfied - except for the directors of the company - who realise theyve been ripped off but cannot admit it in public - be sure though - be very sure - there will be repercussions serious horsehead in the bed repercussions

and before we get to the next bit just remember - there are really 275 channels in Europe doing this stuff 24 hours a day

 

This is the best story in the forum. Why have you stopped? Did that retard put you off? Or was it the bible-salesman and his pathetic book that no one would buy? The one who had to invent people that were interested in his boring book?

 

OK you asked for it -

It was all working like a dream. small cells of anarchists all over the continent of europe subverting the most corrupt money out of the capitalist system and into the hands of peasant farmers, people in drought lands, refugees, all the 3rd world was going to recieve a small boost to its funds, but with the charities the anarchists had setup they could do this forever and the revolution was never going to be a political coup where whole nations fall to some glorious flag waving thugs. Ha Ha Ha what an absolutely ludicrous idea. Politics had moved on. No the truth is the next revolution is financial and corporate, In order to subvert and use the system, well the system has to be in place. What good is it for a dairy farmer to kill the cattle?
The political revolution will come later. In order to kill the mafia, one must first leech from the mafia. Risky, ultimately dangerous, but noble and very moral. Bankrupcy was a political killing. A hit, these were killers hitting the mafia as surely as a gunman.

The books were now fully accounted and there was only one more hour till routine subvert closed. One set of books for the company, one set of books for the taxman, and the real accounts which would be posted to an adress in Zurich.

As soon as the server recieved the data - the accountant grabbed his coat and brief case and was soon outside the building. He buttoned his coat and began to stroll toward Tottenham court road. Something was not quite right, he had made a mistake perhaps. He went over and over his work but concluded that no mistake was made. He was now near the Junction of New Oxford Street, and Tottenham Court Road. His phone began to ring.
"Hi " !
"Hi Roger, so its over? how do you feel?"
"Thankful, but nervous as hell"
"Roger dont worry, look to your left"
"Go into the centre point building, find one of the homeless guys called 'shilling', and give him the disk, you already paid yourself but theres a bonus, shilling will let you know"

Intrigued, Roger did as he was asked and after some 3 minutes, a rather hippyish looking, man, with long hair and ripped jeans approached and the two exchanged parcels.

"come with me", said shilling. Roger was lead into a hall where several homeless people were sitting drinking tea and coffee. Shilling lead him down a flight of stairs and into a basement. Drawing out two embedded bolts and pulling back two heavy panels reveals another passageway - shilling pressed a switch and some lights came on.
It was evident the passage sloped downwards and that they were rapidly descending below street level - "This is an old route down into some nuclear shelters the government had built for some of its key workers, emergency services and that. but we are going across to a place in Oxford street".

Eventually they emerged after climbing a steel ladder affixed to the wall reaching about 40 ft up the side of a cavernous hallway. Curiously it lead to the back of a row of shops and they emerged into an old coalhouse store with sacks of Crocus Bulbs propped against the wall. there were also two leather bags there and both men changed out of their clothes and put on the clothes they found in the bags. They both wore sunshades and had shopping bags with them, they looked like a couple of well dressed buddies out for a days shopping.

Passports, everything, was in the bags.

How about Coffee before Zurich?, asked Shilling, "Hmmm and a spot of lunch at British home stores eh? worrr eh? we live the high life huh?" he said it in such a manner thar Roger was not expecting that it broke the ice between the two - he burst out laughing - and Roger relaxed.

"Was all of that necessary", asked Roger, "going underground etc"
Shilling shrugged, "who knows ? When you live in the big brother house its best to assume you have an audience eh?" The two men ate their food and left the restaurant.
2 hours later they were on the plane to Zurich

 

It's coming on well, Sentient. Keep up the pace and the mystery. Just one question: is the lunch at BHS worth having? I've never tried it.

 

It can be. The BHS in Bournemouth about 15 years ago was absolutely excelent but I think the one in Oxford street does a really good steak and kidney pie with mash -

also you get to meet a lot of MI6 and MI5 types in there as the chef is the actual and real James Bond and he like it when American tourists go there so he can sign autographs and show everyone his gadgets.
he loves getting his gadgets out for the public.

 

Is that the Scottish guy with the sweaty armpits? I saw a photo of him in the papers and he's shaved his mustache off. He thought he looked gay. James Bond should have a mustache.

 

I joined this forum because I read this story a couple of days ago and really liked it can you do more of it

 

Oh thanks ! and do you write ? If so what sort of work.

By the way that story was written in 1/2 hour per post its not really that good and it was just to see where I could go with it - but I lost interest

 

What d'you mean it's no good? I sold it to the BBC yesterday for £500. I mean, I showed to a friend...

 

I know it is good, I was just being uncommonly humble, I know you sold it to the BBC, I have a good few friends there and they alerted me to that, I was seeing if you were going to mention it or whether I should involve Scotland Yard to assist me in tracking you down

 

I've got a few friennds in Scotland Yard and they alerted me that you were on my tail. I've transferred all the funds to the Cayman Islands. All £500!

 

I hacked into the bank and took a £1000 from that account so you owe them £500
and have got the FBI to send a hitman after you

 

The account you hacked into did not belong to me. It belonged to some dude called Antonio Gambini. Apparently he is not very happy about it. I can't help, because I'm a law-abiding American citizen, and a church-goer. Good luck in explaining to don Gambini why you emptied his bank account. Ha Ha!

 

Youre lying ! don gambini doesnt have a bank account he keeps all his money in a stuffed headless horse under his bed.

 

LOL. Game set and match! Brilliant.