Today was hard. The guy that my wife had an affair with 8 months ago emailed her to say hi and see how things are going. She told me when she ended it she let him know how bad he messed up her marriage by talking her into a relationship. I was on the phone and she was a real bitch to him(made me feel good at the time). He got kind of pissed and said it wasn't just his fault but she let him have it anyway and said she hated him and never wanted to see or talk to him again. So now he emails her like they are still friends and I feel so betrayed all over again. What did she say to him after that when I was not around to make him think he could contact her later on. I asked her if she told him I made her say all that stuff and just to give her 6-8 months to see if this would work and then go from there and she said NO. Why else would he email her out of the blue like everything is ok? She has work tonight and will not be home till 4am(she works nights in the ER). I tried focusing on the kids and we did karaoke all night and had a blast. I just put them to bed and could not sleep. I realy don't know what to do. Sometimes I hate her so much for what she did but I have 3 amazing kids(4,6,9) and I can't give up on this. I feel empty and dead inside. What makes him think he can email her after what he did to our family. If he wasn't a cop I would mess with him so he knows better but I also know a cop can make your life miserable if he wants. Some times life just sucks so bad. I gave her 10 years of everything I had and everything I worked so hard for seems gone. We are trying to make it work but I keep thinking it will never be special again. Nothing between us is special anymore. Will this ever change? I tried talking to other females I know to try and help understand what she is going through but both of them tried talking me into leaving her and said they would treat me right, lol they were her friends too? I put my kids to bed everynight with a big hug and kiss and talk to them about thier day. The thought of living in a different house than them just kills me. They won't understand, I don't understand. I never had a dad growing up and I always promised myself I would always be there for my children and now I feel I have no control over it. It makes no difference how great of a father I am to them. This shit just sucks.
well, you could prolly win custody (at least partial) since she is why the marraige ended, if you ever do decide to break it off if you really can't patch it up with the wife, it might be more beneficial for your kids for you to break it off your marraige should be an example for the kids, and if it is an empty marraige, it will probably not serve as a very good one forget the kids for a second, if you and your wife had no kids, would you still be trying to patch it up? if the answer is no, it's probably best you leave her, marraiges that stay just for the children tend to only get worse as time goes on, and usually end sooner or later anyways also, by seeing the divorce, they will learn that marraige takes work and such, and if at some date, they learn what their mother did, they will probably be more prone not to be unfaithful themselves he may have very well e-mailed her out of the blue, hoping to patch things up, maybe start some things up again did she reply? is she going to? these are questions that I would think should dictate your response to this e-mail good luck with handling this situation, I sympathize I would absolutely die if my girlfriend cheated on me, and we've only been at it fro 3-months now =/
Thanks for the reply! She did not reply to the email and she told a girl from work that knows him to stop with trying to contact her. She seems to be doing everything she can to make this work but when these things happen the empty feeling and knots in my stomach come right back. I know we can make this work as I am a very compatible easy going guy and am not afraid of hard work and dedication but I keep finding myself asking does she deserve me? There are so many other women who are kind, loving, and devoted that I could spend the rest of my life with. The catch is they are not the mother of my children. I feel better today, I took the kids out to dinner and then we went to see Teenage mutant ninja turtles and had a lot of fun. Tomarrow is church and that always seems to help bring us together. Time for some sleep......
cool dude really work at it if that is your will don't give up on it man don't try to force anything that isn't there/isn't ready yet though it's a touchy situation, be careful, be strong
