Hey, My girlfriend told me yesterday that a male friend of hers tried to make a move on here while they where out with a bunch of friends. I know this guy and he know me so there is no real excuse for this. What would you do in this situation? Approach the guy, send him a message, or let it go? I will more than likley run into him within the next week or so as he is part of the group of 'friends' that meet at the local bar each week. Thanks for any input Cheers Cappl
It's up to you, really. Although I do advise avoiding a fist fight and just talking in a nonconfrontational way. Question is, can you talk to him without losing your cool? And without putting him on the defensive?
I dont fancy my chances of coming out on top in a fist fight anyway so Ill be avoiding that as best I can. I dont know how I would come across 'nonconfrontational' though. I also want to make sure I get the point across. I dont think a "hey thats not cool please dont do it again" will suffice. I was thinking maybe sending him a message asking him whats going on so he knows that Im watching whats happening. Maybe that would get him to stay clear for a bit. Thanks for the input
"making a move" meaning what exactly? herabouts that just means putting your arm around someone, or flirting, or asking someone out. you make it sound like hnearly tried to rape her or something. ones befitting of a strong reaction, the other is simply her responsibility not yorus
then why on earth is it -your- responsibiltiy to get him to back off? shes the one who needs to politely yet firmly tlel him in no uncertain terms taht shes just not interested in him that way. its SOOOOOOO not your responsibility to fix this shit for her, its her life and she needs to be able to handel something as small as that on her own
Cappl, It sounds as if this guy is not respectful of your connection with the girl in this situation but beyond this I don't know enough info and these situations are varied and subtle anyways. I think that you would be wise to act with integrity -- act in a manner where you strengthen your own being through honest, sincere direct reflection on who you are in all your interactions with other people whether they are fair and good or unfair and not so good (sound as if you're doing good in this dept). I will assume (for the moment) that you are hurt and angry, ask yourself why, look at this privately and with only yourself; look at this. Why? You will find a few aspects to the answer and will get down to some basics; and this will make you very strong. Channel your energy into doing good, channel your energies well. David
you should ask yourself, she told you, thats good, but why didnt she just tell this guy "no. im taken. bye". ya know what am sayin? she should have gave the right impression to him there and then, not leaving it to you. but if i was in the situation, i'd bring it up with her next to you (tell her beforehand though). you then walk off to a table in the bar with her, giving him the "put out" feeling. lol. good luck dude.
haha whoops i didnt read that it was his girlfriend at ifrst, i just read friend. id be mad, but... there isnt much you can do that wont further damage the relationship. if he tries it again yeah somethign needs to be done, if he realizes he was a moron and never tries again then id personally ignore it..... but thats me and i let go of shit pretty easily
Why is it that when women have "problems" with the opposite sex that thier current boyfriends feel the need to "take action"?? Your girlfriend is a fully functional human being who is quite capable of handeling herself. We women are usually quite skilled at surviving unwanted advances from men....and your gf has most likley been doing so for long before you were ever in the picture . Having men jump to action like rabid dogs in heat who feel the need to mark thier territory and defend thier "catch" gets old quickly. It's not very attractive nor does it show trust, esteem, or emotional security in the relationship. Quit treating your gf like a peice of property that you own, controol, and defend and start treating her like a capable human being who WILL deal with her own "dating"/friendship issues in her own way and time.
