"Pedophile Blues" By James D. Padgett

I have a short story, it was entered into the 2007 Literary Leo competition but did not win. Would anyone like to read it?

 

you should just post it, the title alone would have got me to read it

 

Well, here's the link:


http://www.geocities.com/soulfire77/sspb.html


Tell me what you think.

 

what a terrible story ! seems violent - soon as I read there was a gun involved I knew it had to be american trash ! cant americans write something that doesnt involve guns, carchases, or robbing someone, drug deals and the mafia ???? Why dont the usa ever produce talent like Pinter, Barry Hines, Deniss Potter ? etc etc etc - they are real drama with 3 dimensional characters and plots
Cheap props to take your mind off the plot - my god he's got a gun!
the guys insane. No subtlety of plot , the action is the plot and its visual rather than mental drama - too much like you were watching a film

The only thing that comes even close to a good bit of drama in the USA is Arthur Miller, and a couple of pulp novellists from the 60's like Bukowski and J.D Salinger who just did one book and then died of over excertion

NEXT !!!!!

 

An American Drama

by Arthur C. Pagett


JOHNSON: Hi ma. I'm home.

(there is no answer)

JOHNSON: Ma?

(silence. he walks into the kitchen and switches on the light)

JOHNSON: Holy crap!

(A massive gun is pointing at him)

GUN: Wha's the matter, kid? Ain't ya see a big gun before?

JOHNSON: G'damitt, uncle Jeremiah, I weren't expectin' ya fo Thanksgivin'. Shoot.

(Gun goes off and kills Johnson Jnr.)

GUN: Oh, shit, sonny! You shoulda said shit, insteada shoot! Now, I only went aheed an' complied with your directive. How am I gonna gt outta this mess now?

Moral of the story: America loves a johnson.

 

ha ha ha what an outrageous clown you are I m proud of you WS

 

I really appriciate your comments! I'm grateful for the international take on my story! I really hope you won't be offended by my retort...

First of all, you have to be familiar with the movie "The Blues Brothers" in order to get the "punchline" of the story. It IS a violent, visual drama with a tinge of black comedy. The action element is meant to stand out (thus, the "countdown" effect). Not trying to over-analyze my own work, I just want you see where I was coming from.

It's interesting that you bring up J. D. Salinger... who is still alive, the last I heard... "The Catcher in the Rye" has been synonymous with assassination and suicide as long as I have been alive (think Mark David Chapman, John Hinckley Jr. and Kurt Kobain).

If Holden Caulfield were a character in a modern novel, do you think he would be armed? Of course he would! There are already modern stories of "Caulfield-like" gunmen, just google the subject and you will see what I mean.

Anyway, I think you are comparing apples to oranges. Perhaps it's not a genre that you like, but I was trying to tap the vein of bitter crime noir and you're stacking it next to a playwright like Pinter.

 

I think I understand what you mean, soulfire77. You have gone into a lot of detail to explain your work, which is a good thing, especially if it has been misunderstood.

Don't forget that a lot of people cussed down exceptional works of modern literature such as 'A Clockwork Orange', by Antony Burgess; 'Lady Chatterley's Lover', by D.H. Lawrence; and 'Hollywood Wives', by Jackie Collins. In fact I've got a web-page full of book titles and their respective authors, and I was going to make an endless list of them to prove my point, then I realized that I would probably bore people to death by doing so. I don't know if anyone else would like to make a list of books and the authors who wrote them, but I would really like to have another stab at writing a modern American screenplay, so, here goes, folks. Lights down, and action...

An American Drama 2

By Sal Ivor

(Scene: A young couple is standing on a balcony, watching the Malibu sunset)

AMY: ... I don't know, Richard, I feel like I need some space

RICHARD: But, Amy, can't you see that I love you? Everything is perfect. Since my cousin was killed, and I inherited all that wealth... Amy? What's the matter?

AMY: (sobs.) Something has come between us, and I'm afraid that you will hate me. It's better that we part.

RICHARD: What Amy? (getting angry) Who has done this? Who has dared to come between us? I will kill him?

AMY: You will kill him? You? You would kill your own child. Richard? (she looks at her belly).

RICHARD: My?! What?!? (looks at her belly) Mine? I... I love you (hugs her. passionate kissing. The doorbell rings.)

AMY: Let it ring, honey, I want to stay in your strong arms forever.

RICHARD: It's alright, pumpkin pie. It's probably the local church of scientology collecting money to bribe city council officials for landscape planning permissions. I'll just be a sec...

(scene moves into the delux living room. Amy pours herself a Martini, as Richard answers the door).

RICHARD: Oh, my word!

(Amy turns around and drops the glass on the floor. It smashes. A huge gun is staring at her).

AMY: Holy crap! Who are you?

GUN: Hi kids! Arn't you pleased to see me? Well, Dick? Arn't you goin' to get me a scatch on the racks?

AMY: Richard? Do you know this... thing? Why is it calling you, Dick? What's it doing here?

RICHARD: Calm down, Amy. It's my uncle Jeremiah. He's on the run for killing my cousin Johnson.

GUN: It was an accident, I tell ya. I didn't mean to go off. The kid just confused me.

AMY: Shoo...

(Richard grabs her mouth)

RICHARD: No, Amy. Don't say it. That's how accidents happen.

AMY: You still haven't explained why he called you Dick.

RICHARD: Dick is short for Richard.

AMY: So, let me get this right... He's your uncle Jeremiah, who is also a member of the Johnson family, and he's on the run for shooting your cousin Johnsson, from who you inherited all this money, and you are Richard but you're also known as Dick for short.

RICHARD: Yes.

GUN: And now we can all be one big happy g'damn family. Pass us that bottle next you, sister, then come sit on uncle Gun's face and tell him eveythin' there is to know about your pretty self.

AMY: We'll see about that...

(starts rubbing the back of Richard's neck, upwards)

RICHARD: Hey. what ya doing, Amy? I don't like my neck to be rubbed that way.

(Suddenly Richard kicks Gun, who flies out the balcony and falls several floors below, breaking up)

GUN: Arrgh - I shoulda seen that comin' from a woman. Someone git an ambulants.

Moral of the story: If you rub your dick the wrong way, you'll break your johnson.

 

While I appriciate everyone who actually did read the story, I find it distressing how little interest it produced...

Is it the title that turns people off, do you think, or is this just how "the new guy" gets treated here?

 

Well, I liked it. Especially the way you used the countdown. And when it gets to one, "we're on a mission from God". Nice one.

 

Musikero: Thank you. (wonderful name, btw)

 

Ummmm ! which would you prefer, someone saying

"Soulfire you are so genius wow no one on earth writes like you do, you are a star. Can I have your autograph"? or would you prefer people who read it and let you know that for their taste its not quite right. I think its part of literary tradition not to get too serious about writing isnt it?

Just go and find a publication online called "Private eye" a British satirical magazine and see how they rip the piss out writers who are published and
just getting famous. In a way they are doing them a favour

All I was doing was telling you I dont like stories with people who carry guns and commit murder, for the simple reason that youre inside the head of someone who is committing murder so all you have to do is follow the standard formula and go through the past and what makes them commit the murder, and the quirks in their character. In this way you are free to do a psychological study of someone abnormal. Dont you think its a lot harder to write about someone who is much nearer normality and stays within the confines of the law, and yet remains interesting - a character breaking the law is very simple to write, and as such is pretty low down in my points system of what accounts for good writing

 

IMO: I don't know man, I mean if I were to get inside the head of a murderer I'd probably have a hard time since I'm not one myself. It's easier for me to write erotica since I've actually experienced sex. I'm not saying that it's not possible for people to write characters that are not them (that's what research is for), just that it's far easier to write about something you know from experience.

 

I would agree with that and since most novellists have not committed murder, the genre is flawed with a certain hollwood feel to it, good versus bad, a carchase, a gun, why he did the murder, the pool of blood. I think American Psycho was the only book I've read where it was done in way that wasnt somehow trite, because there was real humour to it, and a real involved sense of the characters absolute disdain for the people he associated with at work, like Holden Caulfield in Catcher in the Rye. But above all real funny humour like when he is analysing that Phil collins record and he says something like, "It has an ethereal quality that surpasses mahler" or some shit like that but you realise the author is making social commentary on the dumbness of pop culture and hollywood style films with Arnie, and Bruce Willis in them etc

The fact is though that real murderers really dont have that heavy psychology to them, the majority are young kids who rob someone and then out of fear or just because theyre a complete asshole trying to get a hardman rep, they knife someone or shoot them. Usually its nothing more than a drug habit and no respect for anyone including themselves. Thats it.
Listen to gangster rap and then they think its glamorous to be a gangster.

To romanticise murder and violence like most hollywood films is trivia and as such I prefer European cinema and BNelieve there is a sophistication outside of violent novels you will never find between the covers of a violent novel

 

I'm sorry I strike you as one so vain. That is surely not my intention. And, I agree with you about our literary tradition. However, does this mean that criticism should not be responded to?

As a matter fact, I will accept your challenge: The very next time I write a short story, I will write about a normal, law-abiding citizen and try to make things interesting.

I happen to love writing exercises, so thank you.

Peace.

 

cool - look forward to it

 

Go for it soulfire. I will be interested in reading it, too.

 

I need a laugh

 

Two old men walk by a dog licking it's balls. The first old man says: "Sure wish I could do that..." The second replies: "Well, you better pet him first..."

 

Ronald, you are one insane clown, my friend. I sure hope that's a water pistol you just pulled out of that Happy Meal...