marriage advice needed

If you cannot convince her to get an abortion, marry her. You can always divorce later on. but at least the kid won't be a bastard.

 

Do not ever let yourself be forced to be married just because the two of you have a baby on the way. Getting married just because someone is pg can cause resentment. Resentment has no place in a marriage all it does is make all parties involved miserable including baby.
Talk to your gf without the parents around tell her it is not that you do not want to get married it is just that you all have enough with the baby on the way on your plate right now. Tell her you would rather wait until after the baby is born. I she is worried aboutthe weight tell her not to that you will love here regardless because if you do truely love her it will ot matter if she has gained some weight she will still be beautiful in your eyes.
You all should really think about living with each other before the baby gets here. You really get to know someone living with them you never truely know them until you live with them then you truely learn the qorks.
What ever you do do not be a piss ant like my 23 yr old nephew tell the girl you will marry her that you love here and get 2 weeks before the wedding and back out and leave her and you new child to fend for themselves. Sorry I am pissed as hell at my nephew because he left her for the next skinny thing that walked by. He is kind of and ass.

Just keep a good head on your sholders about this, stand firm in what you think is right, do not let her parents rule the 2 of you, and make the best choices for the 3 of you not evryone else.

 

That's about the stupidest thing I've ever heard.

Nobody calls children bastards any more, except for the assholes.

 

I'm 19 and my husband is 22. We got married last Summer (at 18 and 21).

Now that I got that out of the way...
DON'T get married that young if you don't think you're ready for it. Baby or no baby, if there's any question, it probably isn't worth it.

Why does her family say you have to get married? Because of the social aspects? Because believe me, if that's ANY part of the reason, it's no reason at all. Getting married at 18 and 21, a lot of people figured that I must be pregnant. A lot of people just flat-out told us that it was a stupid idea. At that age, with a kid, people are going to think whatever they think, whether you're married or not.

Even if you think you'll marry her, wait until the time is right. You don't want to stress her in early pregnancy, and you don't need the stress yourself. Take some time, sit down, relax, talk with her about what you think is right and listen to what she has to say. Forget about the parents, you guys are old enough to know what feels right to you. Marriage can wait, right now it's all about baby.

 

I agree

There is no such thing as a "bastard" these
days

Lots of children are born out of wedlock...they
are the same and equal to the ones born in it..

My my...I thought we were moving forward...

Appears not in this case...

 

well, it's the 22nd...........whats happening?

 

Why don't you go ahead and get some marriage counselling to test the waters?

 

Why do they want you to join the army???


While W's b.s. war is still going on?
Do they want you dead?

 

Yeah, look at it that way. If they can talk you into marrying their daughter, they can talk you into joining the army. WTF good are you going to be to your wife and child if you get an arm or a leg blown off or worse?

And let's consider the consequences of you taking several other lives in Iraq... Are you ready (and willing) to do that? Can you live with yourself and be a good father and husband after you've done that? Trust me, you'll have to. If you can't hang, don't run, just be strong.

Anyway, the girl is over 18. If she's still living under her parents' thumbs, you will be too. Can you deal with that? If the two of you have been constantly stoned for the time you've been together you need to try a week or three straight. If you can handle that and her parents, you'll know what to do.

But I seriously don't see this working. You can't live by ultimatum.

 

Just go to the courthouse one day and get a judge to marry you guys.

Show the in-laws you are old enough to make a decision for yourself.

Show back up at their house already married!!
Issued resolved!

 

^^
i'm shocked at the amount of people on this thread urging this fellow to get married when he's clearly being forced into it.....

 

wasn't me urging him to get married..just how to do it if he does

It worked for me...22 years and counting now married to the same girl!!!

 

Coming from a woman....I am going to urge DON'T DO IT (if you don't feel ready). It is not fair to you, your girlfriend, or especially THAT BABY if you are all throughn into an unwanted situation by force. Forced marriages don't breed a healthy family environment....in fact I would go to say that it would only encourage unhealthy family dynamic's that can have the potential to harm the baby emotionally and mentally. Unhappy homes & broken homes do severe damage to children with long lasting effects. I am one of those children sadly.

It would be in THE BABY'S BEST INTREST to wait until you are ready for such a commitment. Give yourselves time to grow and develope into your new roles as parents and lovers and then progress from there. I am sure 2 happy, healthy, productive parents who are NOT married is going to be a MUCH healthier situation for a baby then 2 unahppy, emotionally unhealthy, angrey parents who live with a life time of regrets....which may be the situation if you are forced into a marriage which you are not ready for and which you did not choose for yourself.

I don't believe in "Stand up and be a man" or "Do the right thing" means marry every girl that you have pre-marital sex with.

 

I wouldn't get married just because the folks are pressuring you to. If you hadn't even thought about it before finding out your gf was prego, why do it now?

And if it takes a piece of paper for them to have your approval, I wouldn't want the approval of that type of folk anyhow.

BUT on the otherside of things, if you are married you will have the same rights to the baby as the mom does. It's not necessarily true if you aren't married, right away at least.

 

How much would it suck if you married her and later found out that the child was not yours?

 

That's a pretty crappy thing to say to the guy.
Are you supposed to be a cool person?
That sounded like the "Springer" t.v. show...there was nothing in the thread to make it sound like the girl was f---ing around on the dude.
Geez.

 

*shrugs*

Don't act like it is an impossibility.

 

Two young people fucking while they are stoned. God protect the offspring.

 

DON'T MARRY HER NOW! Wait, if you rush into this, you know how it will turn out. We don't need another married couple who hate each other and it'll kill you if you "get off on the wrong foot" in something sp serious! Tell her how you feel and let her know that you need time to process it and you still love her. Trust me, rushing into this will turn out with nothing good.

 

Thnk you! Is astounds me how much people don't consider his happiness.