OK, Here is the deal. After having our third child, my wife has decided not to have sex with me until I get a vecectomy. At first, she was going to get her tubes tied, but the week before the operation, we decided that her health (high blood pressure,etc) was not in the best shape and I would get "the snip". Now it has been over 2 months and my FIRST appointment is this week. Its is ONLY a consultation. I believe that after the actual operation, you have to bring "samples" to the lab twice before you are determined to be sterile. I'm looking at quite a long time with NO SEX. You see, she will not do ANYTHING sexual. Apparently, blowjobs are a thing of the past. No 69. No handjobs (I BEGGED one night- nothing). I can't stand it anymore. I'm angry all the time, frustrated, masterbating way too much (in my opinion), looking way too longingly at every girl I see. I'm losing my mind. I've told her how I feel over and over and she just doesnt care. In fact, she usually just gets mad at me. I was wondering what others thought. Am I just making a big deal out of nothing? Is she crazy? HELP!
I forgot to add: Condoms are off the table as she doesnt trust ANY birth control right now. She isn't taking any chances on getting pregnant again. This aspect of it would be understandable to me if we were participating in some other form of sex. I should note that it has been around 2 months since we last had sex (was after the baby, with a condom- prior to the "no condom" rule she made) It looks, to me, like another 1 -2 months before I would be sterile, officially.
This is a RECENT DEVELOPMENT. Hence the confusion. We have KIDS together, brainiac... We have touched each other PLENTY previously (thousands of times, actually). I appreciate the replies (err, just think a little bit) Thanks
I think you should stop talking about sex completley and def don't ask for handjobs or head. I feel really demeaned and forced if anyone tries to coax me into things. Where as I am incredibley giving in bed normally. How long ago did she give birth? Maybe it's hormonal or her body is tired from taking care of three kids? Does she work too?
yea no shit buddy i read your post, but why are you putting up with this shit? she won't even touch you? pshhhh
Well, I can kinda see where she's coming from. I have a child myself. Lately, I just don't have time or am way too worn out from running around the house after my son. I just don't feel like having sex. I'm frustrated about almost never having time to myself, all of the work around the house, and trying to work. There is never enough time in a day to get it all done. It never ending! Maybe she's just frustrated like me. I can only imagine what its like with more than one child. I'm going nuts with just one. Maybe just try to get her out of the house or something. There is another possiblity also. Maybe she has post-partum depression. That just makes everything else worse. She could just be so stressed out with all the kids that there is no way that she would even chance it. She prolly just has too much to handle especially with a new baby at home and trying to adjust.
Now this sounds like "chick-logic" to me. I'll try to break it down slow for you. -She's decided she doesn't want any more kids. -Therefore no unsafe sex until after "the snip." -The safest sex is no sex. -Anything resembling sex is a temptation towards sex. -She doesn't want you OR HER to become tempted. -Therefore no temptations allowed. -That way she can feel secure there will be no sex. -And the desired result is achieved. No more kids. Once the snip is over with if things don't improve I'd have a long talk with her.
She's being silly. Whereas I can certainly understand not wanting to have vaginal, unprotected sex until your tubes are tied, she is going way off the deep end. If she goes on the pill, she won't get pregnant. If you wear a condom(correctly) she won't get pregnant. Also, there is a way to deal with unwanted pregnancies that I hear politicans arguing about all the time. Also, her refusing to do ANY kind of sex is just nonsense. Tell her she can just go fuck herself, then, and adopt a healthy policy of masturbation.
If she won't give you a hand job, then having more children is not her (only?) issue. If you, for a moment, believe that getting snipped is going to change anything, I believe you are in for more of a let down than you are already in. I would thing that a mediator or counseling of some sort would be your best bet. Good luck.
This is the prob amongst Western couples..Hey man u gotta learn to be the Alpha male. It is easier for women to stay abstinent. I would have told you to throw her out but you have children and thats more important than anything else. I suggest relieving yourself but with some variety. visit strip clubs. And to recommend something try eating the following on a daily basis:- cardamom, ginger, honey, strawberry milk. Apply cold olive oil to your penis when masturbating. Soon you will be able to control or rather focus your libido with a result u ll b surprised with. trust me. I wud never suggest vasectomy to any male cos when the female has got so many options, it is not right to subject the male to the risk of vasectomy..the pain, the chance of permanent irreversible sterility..no thats pathetic. you can tell her to use pills but with lot of other means.spermicidal cream is good choice. Its upto you though but if I were you I would have done things way more differently
