I don't know if I like this feeling

There is this girl that is in two of my classes. We went to high school together and we were friends. Not like best friends but friends. Since we are in these classes together we hang out quite a bit and see each other or talk to each other about everyday. Sometimes on weekends we go out and get coffee or go to a bar to see a band. The thing is we started out as friends and now I am really in love with her. The problem is that she is in a very committed relationship with this guy. He is from our hometown but he is out working somewhere else right now, so they are doing the long distance thing. I don't really know what to do. I had hoped that these feelings would just go away but they aren't. Telling her about them doesn't really seem like a good option because I still really want to be friends with her and I don't want things to get weird. I keep thinking that I am almost 22 and these feelings are kind of immature but I can't get them to go away. Any suggestions, thoughts, or ideas would be helpful about any of this would be appreciated. Maybe I just need to wait it out.
Thanks

 

If I were you, I wouldn't say anything, only because there is high chance that if you did tell her, your friendship would become really awkward. It also kind of depends what kind of girl she is. Is she someone who would cheat or is she truly commited. I would wait for the right moment. Plus why would you want to steal another mans girl?

 

Yeah man that is the exact logic I used, but you know, sometimes it is good to have reason evaluated by another person. It still sucks but I'm still functioning and everything. It's not like I quite going to classes or anything because I stay awake all night. It's just kind of an anxious feeling. I feel like I am in damn high school again or something.

 

Oh my gawd, I know exactly what you mean. Sometimes I feel like I'm in highschool all over again. If you feel comfortable and confident telling her, then I say go for it but I'm trying to put myself in your situation and I just don't think it would be a good idea. How serious is she about this guy that she's currently commited to. It's got to be hard just being there friend knowing how much you want to tell her that you like her.

 

I agree with the other poster here. Don't say anything as it could cause a hellof a lot of unwanted awkwardness, tention and drama. I know it sucks , but that's what I'd do if I was you.

 

your freindship is already on the line because of these feelings theres no going back....you either try to move your feelings to someone else....or tell her and see what happens ....it would really suck to find out in 30 years from now that she too had feelings for you, but was to afraid to say it...

 

Yeah she is in a pretty committed relationship. She has been going out with this guy for a while now, going on three years and there isn't any sign of the relationship going bad either. She is actually planning on moving to where he lives at the end of this school year so I figure my best option is to just try to move on and go for someone else. Our friendship is really on the line since I am pretty well functioning and everything. It isn't awkward at all when I am with her and usually I feel fine when I am with her, it is just when I am not with her. It could just be that she is giving me a lot of attention so I developed these feelings. It will be alright.

 

Well seeing as how she's been with the guy for awhile and she obviously loves him, I wouldn't step in. But if she's leaving anyway, maybe you should. Don't listen to me though, I don't know anything about this kind of stuff.

 

All I can say is follow your heart, and nothing else. If you don't, you may regret it later.

Good luck.

 

for me, I think you should be honest with your feelings. Go tell her that you have a feelings with her! There's nothing wrong of telling the truth otherwise you may regret it... It feels great when you're honest with your feelings.

 

I posted this a long time ago it seems like but there has been a recent turn of events. I just found out yesterday that she broke up with her boyfriend about a month ago. She didn't tell me because she figured I already knew and was just not saying anything, since everybody else already knew. Within thirty minutes of finding out, I invited her to go see ZOSO (the Led Zeppelin tribute band that kicks ass) and she got kind of excited even though she didn't know who they were at all. When I got home I asked my Flat mate what I should do and she said I should ask if I could take her out to dinner. So I called and asked her if I could take her out to dinner. At first she said yes but then she said maybe, because she has a lot of work to do, since it is finals time. So thats where I stand right now. I know I should probably be happy because at least it isn't rejection but it is still a purgatory between two answers. So how do I think I stand as it is.

 

oh ...congrats sounds like your doing pretty good


good luck!

 

I'm 30 and I still have these feelings. I'm actually into two girls in commited relationships right now. Both of them are thinking of breaking up, are into me, and the beast of prey in me is beginning to roar. WRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

I say, fuck the boyfriend. Go for it. Commitment should always be taken with a grain of salt. If it's not to be, it's HER job to make sure nothing happens.

 

If you don't say anything you will always wonder what could have been, and if you do say something things could go horribly wrong and you could lose her completely. So the question is...Is a chance at a romantic relationship with her worth risking your friendship? It's a tough decision and in the end you are the only one who knows enough about the situation to make it.

I personally would just tell her. Even if it was just to get it off my chest. I can't stand carrying something like that with me.

Good luck dude!

 

woops I just saw your most recent post. Apparently their relationship wasn't TOO serious.

It sounds like she's into you. Congratulations.

 

yeah it did not go too well. She cancelled on the dinner plans and invited a bunch of people to the concert. So I tried to arrange for us to go have coffee or something but she said she was too busy for the next two weeks with finals and everything. I had a feeling that it was not going to go well so I just really wanted to tell her how I felt. Fortunately I got a ride home with her after the show and I was able to tell her all my feelings. She appreciated my honesty but said that she was not looking to date right now. I am hoping we can still be friends but we shall see what happens. I feel better for having told her though.

 

falling inlove is immature ? ..ookay