almost everytime i get to sleep. and many of the times when i'm creating my immaginary 3d worlds on the computer. and certainly many of the times i've been out in the woods by myself. anyplace where you never have to hear the recorded, broadcast, or live, sound of the human voice is the next best thing to heavin for me. and yeah, it's like somebody having been to elfland or something, the comedown of mundania. but i'm in no hurry to get myself dead either. i really believe we are perfectly capable of not continuing to screw everything up for each other right here in this life too. =^^= .../\...
I waited 45 minutes to get in to see limbo... but would ya know it... the Catholic Church fucking closed it!!!!!!
I once tried to envision heaven during what I guess would be considered deep meditation, although when I began to get an actual 'feeling' of that kind of euphoric, polar opposite of egocentric, oneness connection with reality, physically, mentally, and 'spiritually', I was filled with so much love that I began to panic. Nervously shaken to the point of nausea and extreme confusion, I pulled on my imaginary rope to guide me back to the planet earth (the rope, being the transmission of the waves from my television, set on mute; when I stare at the T.V. I can use it in a manner such as deep sea divers and explorers are pulled by rope by friends out of the water, back onto the boat) and had to calm my fear of the blending universally as one with all existance, all love, all understanding and acceptance. Ego loss is much more difficult for me to permanatly attain than I had previously thought before that fateful moment in that led-up-to day. Even a temporary loss of false Self, tapping into union with the SuperSoul, left me so destroyed in materialistic value and morality that I literally had to 'calm' myself down. As beautiful as it was and as wonderful as that massive release in the form of physical manifestation of though from the spark of the original mind, was so overwhelmingly powerful that I realized I was not at the time ready to perceive that which I had no proper grounds of understanding on. Since that day, and another similar event that occured about a week later while standing outside of work having a smoke in the summer sun (where I was impacted with love so deeply in the same sense) I have been attempting to attain the total loss of ego, becoming a vehicle, a medium through which the love of God, Krsna, may be radiated from myself, thus making more room in this world for love, and less consumption of personal sense gratification, my path of Bhakti Yoga is underway in enlightening flatness, universal appeal that I am one with all and therefor perceive myself as only a unit of Love, a single ray, mingling with each other ray, shiningg forth from the original core, the raw, tender, sense of sensitivity, childlike innocense, beauty of God, Love, Acceptance. Love and Light my friends, Hare Krsna, Hare Rama
I had THE BEST sex dream last night that would for sure qualify and woke up this morning sleeping with my head where my feet should be.
I tried driving there but traffic was tied up- everyone rubber necking a wreck on the opposite lane to hell.
