What is better...solitude or gregariousness?

Let me expand on that before you answer.
In order to be happier, more content, more spiritual, and to spend your daily hours in productive ways, and at the end of your life feel that you have done the right thing, which side will help you the most?

To spend a lot of time in private solitude, or a lot of time mixing with people for whatever you choose to do with them?

 

I think anything is fine, as long as you don't cry that you are lonely, staying in solitude is a good thing. And as long as you don't cry that there is no time for yourself , why don't you go to that movie with your peers?
The key here is Non-attachment. Some say that a sadhaka needs to have time for himself so that he can better restrain the mind. But I also heard some other gurus say that the man who acts in the normal course of life, while being detached from it is really better than the guy who is meditating in some cave. Because- the guy who is in his normal course of life comes across many instances of dissapointments and pleasure... being detached in that instance is much more authentic than eliminating all external attachments and just claiming to be detached.

 

Balance is the thing. You need both. But there are exceptions - generally though, a balance of the two. But solitude and silence can be difficult to get for many people in the modern world.

 

You can be alone in a crowd, and revel in your solitude. You just as easily sit in a cave a hundred miles from any human presence, and yet be mired in the appearances and conversations and transactions of the world.

 

Some people would call that alienation.

 

I don't mean that you are rejected by those around you, I was referring to being able to withdraw into oneself and be silent in the midst of activity.

 

That's a good thing to be able to do.

Inaction in action and action in inaction are spoken of in Hindu, Buddhist and Taoist traditions.

I guess your post made me think of the time was alone in London - one of the most populous cities in the world, but I felt more lonely at that time (many years ago) than at any other period of my life.

 

When I was about 11 or 12, it came to me that a perfect man(or great a individual achievement) would be one that if in total solitude would feel as comforted as being around his best friends, and in the middle of a large crowd of family friends and strangers feel as if alone and private as if in the middle of a desert.

 

blend and balance indeed. too much of either one drives me nuts.

 

Hari, that was beautiful.
When the heart is overflowing with empathy and love, the sage sees herself in everyone. She is indeed alone, and blissful is her solitude, for it is the fulfillment of her love.
When the heart melts in devotion the lord laughts at the sage from everywhere, within and outside. Where then can she flee to hide from His gaze?

 

I try everyday to be more satisfied in my solitude, and more comfortable within the crowds. It's a slow process, but there is progress being made.

 

i don't see either as helping all that much but solitude as less hindering then gregariousness.

freedom from anxiety, getting things done, and experiencing a sense of spiritness and spirit company, all have worked better for me and more often when alone then in any sort of human company.

i can only tell this as being how it is for me. i have no idea how much more or less it is like this for anyone else.

=^^=
.../\...

 

Personally, I like having people around me.


Was it Pope who said 'no man is an island'? I think he (or whoever did say it) was right.

 

The wise man is he who is intensely active in the midst of intense peace, and intensely peaceful in the midst of intense action.
---Krishna ( Bhagavad Gita)

 

“Talents are best nurtured in solitude, but character is best formed in the stormy billows of the world”

---Goethe


One can be instructed in society, one is inspired only in solitude.”

---Goethe

 

I try everyday to be more satisfied in my solitude, and more comfortable within the crowds. It's a slow process, but there is progress being made.
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I'll say since I wrote this thread, I have made some progress in both areas, I can see myself when around some new aquaintances that bore me, desiring to be alone, and when sitting alone working on some project, desiring to be with someone I like, but neither one is that difficult to procure.

If it was virtually or practically impossible to access solitude or company, then it would bother me more of course.

I think I have just defined to some level what I consider success.