Need some help improving sex

I'm a 20 year old male, and with my second sexual partner now. We have a distance relationship, so we see each other every 1-2 weeks and often dont get time to really explore our sexual relationship. But starting on Monday, we'll be together for two complete weeks and this is time to iron our some difficulties.

She was a virgin before we slept together for the first time. Her first time was extremely painful for her, and although the pain doesnt exist anymore, she doesnt feel anything when we have sex. Since she's relatively inexperienced with sex, she's uncomfortable about trying any unortodox positions. With sex, she has never felt anything.

When I use my tongue or finger, she feels a great deal of pleasure for about 5-10 seconds, but then it stops and wont come back. I'm calm and try many different things, but it doesnt really change. She has never felt pleasure when she has done this herself. However, since she has actually felt something when I've done this, I'm guessing it's best to introduce her to orgasms via tongue and finger technique, then think about sex.

But at the same time, it's a bit confusing. I love her and would love to solve this problem so she can make this experience more comfortably!

Can anybody offer some enlightenment?
Thanks!

 

cutted needed here!

he is the expert for this kind of things

 

Cutted here ..... try using more lubrication, repeatedly. You may be hurting her. Also try the missionary position with a pillow under her butt. Also try to give her a g spot orgasm - check out some of my recent posts for a step by step how to do. Do a lot of foreplay before getting into it.

Let me know...

 

cutted - the king of the ****

 

We havent really had any improvement, and it's starting to feel like sex is getting irrelevant for us. We have a great relationship. I love this girl, and I want to spend a very long time with her, with or without sex. But, it would be great to sort this stuff out too. We have a distance relationship, so sometimes we only see each other every 2 weeks for about 5 days at a time (although the distance is usually about 1 week), and regularly her body is not allowing this at that time anyway. I'll be with her all of next week though, and there wont be a problem then.

Cutted seems to be educated in this stuff. Is it possible that some girls just dont have orgasms? I've read this, but I dont believe it. Is the fact that she feels 4-5 seconds of pleasure a good or a bad sign? I have sexual experience, but not enough to really be creative in solving this stuff. I tried g-spot stimulation at the beginning of April. She was open enough (as she always is during our first sexual activity during each meeting), and definitely wet. I used two fingers and massaged inside on the top and bottom. I concentrated on a fold that I discovered. But she didnt feel anything except my presence there.

Your extended help would be greatly appreciated.

 

I dont know. When me and my significant other were 120 miles apart for 4 months we only saw each other a couple times a month. We had the steamiest wild sex that we probably ever had. Every time we saw each other is was like ripping of the clothes, and going into passion mode. Multiple orgasms and that spontaneous resolve that gets ordinary in everday terms. It was great. The yearning I guess? That should do it for you.

 

there are some women who are anorgasmic, BUT there are also lots whove simply never cum from gspot stimulation

like me

i vote oral sex, focus on teh clit with your tongue, fingerfuck her with one or two fingers too while you do oral (not necessarily the whole time of oral, but sometimes, if she likes it). oral sex ftw. its my favourite way of cumming

 

Cutted lives with his mom and reads Penthouse articles for Christ's sake. His experience lies within the walls of his bathroom all by himself.

 

i remember when i was younger i loved the thought of sex but when i was having sex it wasn't so great at all, i remember thinking ' oh i wish sex would feel as good as kissing' it might sound silly, but that's the way it was. i really wanted to have good time and try new things but emotionally maybe i wasn't ready. but i was like 14

when i look back i wish i had spent more time kissing not fucking.

just take it easy, give her a little time, even though you have done it before maybe it would be a good thing to take a step back, when you meet her you don't have to sleep with her the same day, wait a little - of course she shouldn't feel that you're not interested any more.

 

We're quite relaxed about this. Sex necessarily isnt always going to come into the equation immediately. Sometimes it does, most times we're too busy having a great time with other stuff, and it's unimportant.

It's also not like our whole physical relationship is based on attempted sex. Actually, a small amount of it. We have amazing foreplay. We've got incredible understanding of each other's bodies, how to touch, how to kiss the right places the right way etc... and her ability to give me pleasure is superb, and completely comfortable for her.

I have to articulate that the only problem is her not feeling anything during sex, and very quickly losing passion for it. She no longer expects anything from it. This lack of passion only begins when actual sex starts. Before that, with foreplay, she's directing it as much as me.

It's a puzzler!

 

go and see a sex therapist

 

Have you tried a vibrator on her ?

If not, go and get one... maybe she needs more speed on her clit right now ...something she can only get with a vibe.

Once she experience pleasure with the vibe , maybe she's gonna be more aware to what her body needs during sex with you and it'll be easier for her to direct you.

Right now it seems like she doesnt know her body very well so she cant even tell you what to do (faster... harder ..etc....)

 

Chaosphere just doesn't know what the fuck he's doing. I mean, c'mon! Let's call a spade a spade.

 

What an intelligent post. I thank you for your intellectually stimulating insight. You've obviously interpreted the very idea of an advice thread, which asks for help because the thread starter usually needs some help with something. What a genius!

Did you think up your username all by yourself? I'm really quite impressed.

 

Wow!

You are a little slow.

 

I have the same problem if I'm not relaxed

 

The wonder of understatement. Sometimes so smart, other times so inconclusive and utterly irrelevant. It can either be a statement of integrity and intelligence, or a statement indicating a lack of both. Did Proust say that?

I have been given little reason to doubt which category you are, and don't really expect to be proven wrong. If you dont have anything intelligent to add to a serious thread, dont say anything. You might have to stop saying anything at all.

 

That's basically it. We're too impatient. In the physical affection that we understand each other's bodies well in, we have no problems. There's an understanding of the capabilities of such things, and hence a greater patience in getting to the climax.

The problem is definitely not her body being incapable of sexual pleasure. I've seen enough from her to know better. However, her relaxation and confidence can fluctuate fairly quickly in experiences she expects nothing from, and currently sex is one of those. She fears pain, and when I try to remove the possibility of pain, she loses interest because she doesnt expect to feel anything anyway, and adopts a 'why bother?' attitude.

Luckily, I am patient enough, and we've made some progress. I suggested to her to stop thinking too big, thinking too far ahead. To notice little sensations and let the building up of them take care of itself, rather than feel like it's something she has to concentrate on and wait for. That's boring and frustrating for anybody, so since we've started removing it, she's been enjoying it a lot more.

It's psychological. Almost like a female version of ED. The solution starts with making her more comfortable and confidence, and helping her psychology to be more patient. Then to notice the time when I have to meet her 50% and give her the feelings she's preparing for. Wont be fixed overnight, but we're getting there and I'm thankful that a great relationship makes this generally feel like a small problem for us.

 

dont feed the trolls

 

If you really believe this is a serious thread then you need to get a fuckin life! Go get a skin mag and do what you do best............by yourself. Caiuse you obviously can't figure out what to do when someone else is there.