*TITLE UNKNOWN* For years I was hiding I was lost in the dark I tried to light a candle But the match wouldn't spark. I was lost in a maze And couldn't find my way out I tried and I tried But I just couldn't shout. As I sat in the silence I though only of you But now I feel stupid Because our love wasn't true. When I needed you You couldn't be there But I had your back And that wasn't fair. Then when you left I had nothing to give You took everything in me I had no will to live. But then he came along And offered his hand And as I sat in the darkness He willed me to stand. He gave me faith When I had nothing left And I realized without you I was hardly bereft. In the light I see clearly Now I know what to do You mean nothing to me As I did to you.
I liked your poem, and I don't say that to everyone whose poems I read.For me, poetry should rhyme, and have a solid pace and beat, and yours just marches along, and it works well with the content, walking us through a relationships beginning and end. Relationships end can seem so heavy when it is happening, but we see that time usually heals, and we open to new possibilities.
Fantastic poem. I'm more into poetry for the imagery and stories they portray, and this one does that very well. As a side note... just make sure you don't "need" the next guy you go out with either. Relationships are made of individuals with shared experiences, you don't have much can't be happy without the other person.
alright man im gonna give you some advice, do NOT get me wrong this is contructive critisizm and i dont think your poem is bad. now this pain this fuckin..vile putrid sickening state of mind you lived in without this guy HAS to sum of some more words other than "For years I was hiding I was lost in the dark I tried to light a candle But the match wouldn't spark." 4 years man...thats gotta be a fucking BOOK! i mean for real man these kinds of poems are written all the time it doesnt mean they are bad nah i wrote lots of stuff like this when i started writing. try making it original man, anybody can say a relationship is like a maze i mean DUH its love it sucks dick at times but the difference between your love and everyone elses is its YOURS make it so its yours so everyone is like fuck man..that was for real feel me? idk man i could just be retarded but i gave you my words now go hither peace
