I Think I Know What's Wrong with Me!!

I've noticed that I get kind of bitch with guys that I've been dating for a long time, which I mostly attribute to birth control side effects... but....

Both of my parents have been married multiple times, and I don't know any happily married people... well, I know one couple, but they aren't on their first marriages...

I think that, when I get bitchy and whatever, I might be subconciously testing the guy to see if he loves me enough to put up with me till death do us part or whatever. And I think that's bad. I just now realized that that might be what I'm doing, though, and I think I've realized it just a little too late. I've learned a lot that I can use in other relationships, but I already lost the one I really wanted to keep.

Now my problem is to figure out how to stop doing something that I don't realize I'm doing....

 

i know lots of girls who try to pull that shit


your on BC though, thats hot, i'd bone you in a heartbeat

 

Birth control is hot? haha.... thanks.

 

I knew a woman who would do something similar... at a certain point she'd preemtively push you away like she's doing you a favor so you wouldn't have to eventually figure out a way to push her away yourself. And she realized she was doing it (even if she didn't want to) and told me about it honestly... that she was sorry but just would get a little scared sometimes with the thought of handing her heart to someone. And knowing her unfortunate past relationships I understood exactly why. I then realized it was merely a defense response to protect her heart because of her past experience. She said she truly wanted to give her heart to me but just would get a little afraid or overwhelmed sometimes at the idea of doing it and would react that way. It took a long time for her to realize I wasn't going anywhere, especially after she explained herself... and once she truly realized I wasn't ever going to be the same as "other guys" the issue kinda resolved itself.

Just don't be afraid to tell a guy that this is what you're doing, and why and that it isn't really intentional. You can realize the situation yourself yet still not always be able to help it. Without telling the guy he's probably not going to get it at all. And your problem may be more easily solved by the right guy than it might seem. You might never find the "solution" entirely within yourself, rather find it together with a man who leaves you very little room for such self doubt. ~7

 

Bitching" may be like waking up grumpy. Some wake up happy and some grumpy. Even tho you realize ur grumpy, you dont give a fuck.

I wake up grumpy and my family knows not to mess with me in the mornings. Maybe if your partner realizes that you bitch on purpose, he can help you. Or maybe you can tell him straightforward that ur bitching sometimes and tell him to understand it and warn you. Maybe you better find other ways of testing the "death do us part" thing. It's all based on good will and mutual understanding.

About the lost relationship: you cant have experience till you need it. Since you have the exp. now, why not give it another try?

And about our failures: life is a permanent realizing, and thats what so grand about it. Maybe that is why some parents have multiple marriages.Maybe it's because they've realized that the things or virtues they used to classify as "good" has changed into smthgns else. Maybe so did their orientations to "good" and "bad". So, dont judge your (or others') "failures" with today's experience. Otherwise you would be in agony.

Or maybe I'm wrong, Buddy

 

I used to be a bitch to my boyfriends, but I hated them, not for who they were, but because they were guys, like I thought they deserved to be treated like crap because they had a penis...

I think in someway, I just felt like all them men in my life were fuckups for being the way they were, so I suppose, when I started dating, I launched a fully fledged attack on man kind

True blue man eater style from the age of 13...

but I'm different now, and I hate that old me!

I'm not angry anymore, and t feels so good to love

 

I really love Andrew... I would just get so mad over things that weren't really that important sometimes. Yeah, they were all his fault and I shouldn't feel bad for being angry, but I did tend to kind of overreact. I got sick of him just doing the same things over and over again, though.... like, we never went out, and if we did, he was like two hours late or he'd call 15 minutes after he was supposed to pick me up to say that he was just going to go home and take a nap... he's retarded... I don't want to get into it.


I'm confusing myself...haha... I think I'll go to bed. It's too late for us, anyway, I guess.

 

I dont understand why guys treat their women like this... am I the only guy that gives affection twords his lady? I always see guys way off in the distance of their lady, or if they are together their not standing next to each other, and if they are they are still like 3-4 feet apart... Is it just me or what? Am I weird for litarly being up my girls ass 24/7? I just dont understand people I want to be around them as much as possible... even though I do like privacy once in awhile. I dont know, im just as confused hun.

 

I too get all bitchy...the same reasons given above. testing the guy to see if he really can put up with me.

i've realised this and i'm trying to change. it's hard though, especially when you're still not sure about everything.i feel like such a fuckup

 

What kind of a test is this? Testing whether the guy would put up with a bitching girl? What if he manages to put up with it? He'll be bitched at for all his life. Why da hell would I waste my time. I'd rather date the ones that dont bitch.

life is short, u know.

 

I do believe the test isn't really a test. Seven nailed it above. It's fear of abandonment. Lots of people hurt in the past; ie abusive relationships, divorced parents, whatevar... do it. Not all, of course, just a goodly percentage. So they push away the one they love in order to save them from the pain of that person leaving them.

 

"I dont understand why guys treat their women like this... am I the only guy that gives affection twords his lady?"

No, you're not. I bring my lady coffee every morning. I make sure she has yellow roses. I make love to her every night. I do the dishes. I do whatever I can to show her how much I love and appreciate her.

By giving, you get so much more in return.

 

dearest sweet happyhahagirl, i can relate to what your saying BIG time,you will eventually get through this.....im gonna tell you how, in my opinion it is after you find peace within yourself,and not a moment sooner,that you finally realize that this is a vicious cycle,one that needs to be broken.if you commit yourself wholeheartedly,you can do this. **the simple approach**the right man.the man that loves you for you,all the good and bad.through thick and thick,no matter what. he is out there,i promise you that.he will accept you in times your silly,sad,happy,bitchy,and through it all..support you and your challenges through life,i wish you luck

 

TRUST ME I UNDERSTAND! every guy in my life from my dad to past boyfriends has screwed me over in one way or another. i have very serious trust issues that i am still working to get over. your like me, you don't build the walls to keep others out but to see who cares enough to bring them down. obviously this guy didn't deserve your awsome self because he was a retard, and from past boyfriends who have been retards trust me they piss everyone off. no worries! someday you'll find someone who cares enough to help you bring down your walls/trust issues and things will be peachy. OR you could start a new t.v. show on lifetime about stuff like this and make millions!