HELP! I need major advice here, people!

About 4 years ago, I met a guy, let's call him Joe, online. We chatted for about a year before meeting. When I did meet him for the first time, I felt that needed spark, but, I just got out of a long term relationship, and didn't really want to get into another. We saw eachother as flirty friends for about 4 months. During this time, we never had sex. We fooled around, but no sex.

The first time Joe and I kissed, I felt sooo many butterflies flittering! It was amazing. I put off sleeping with him as I wanted to get over my ex completely, and not appear to be a slut. This backfired. The last time we saw eachother during this 4 month stretch, he kidnapped me to his place (lol) and I wouldn't sleep with him. From there, we didn't see eachother for years. He claimed that he was busy with work (he owns a home business) and I pretended it didn't matter to me. But, throughout the years, we have chatted on msn, and the phone.

About 7 months ago, our flirty chat got to us both and he came over to my place to watch a movie. To my surprise, that spark I felt was still there. We did the wild. It was probably the best sex I've had. soo hot! He swore that he cared a lot of me, and that we would see eachother again, but that didn't happen. We haven't seen eachother since that hot and steamy night. He again blames it on work. We did continue to chat, and I act as if it doesn't bother me that he never came back.

Since meeting Joe, I have not felt such intense feelings for another man. I've never had sex that hot with anyone else. I compare every man I've been with to him, and no one is better. He's totally ruined dating for me...and for this I hate him! lol

Problem is, he wants to see me tomorrow night. I want to see him...badly! but I'm afraid. I'm afraid history will repeat itself, and I will end up hurt once again. I'm afraid that I may love this man, and am afraid to tell him how deeply I feel for him.

The last time I saw him, I told him that I want to see him more regularly, and he said he wanted to see me more too, but his business consumes him. He also does live a ways from me...he's in a rural area, and I don't drive, so I can't go to him.

Any advice that you could offer would be awesome! I'm so confused. I've never felt so strongly for a man, and I don't wanna screw this up! I also don't want to get hurt again. How should I go about this? HELP!

 

It sounds like this is an unhealthy relationship. Consider your motivation behind your feelings. Is it lust? Since he does not see you, I doubt he has the same feelings for you. Otherwise he would make time in his busy schedule to see you. Meditate on why you feel the way you do. That is the best advice I can give you.

Peace and love

 

Personally, I would ask to go out and not go anywhere that it would be possible for sex. I'm not sure in your position I would even agree to get together with him, actually. But I agree with hippie_chick that it is an unhealthy relationship. He does remind me of a past relation who ended up being bipolar, skitzifranic and having depression, so it could be an uncontroled mental problem possibly... Still, I say you stay out of your house with him so that sex does not happen. Try and see if he'll stick around a while first.

 

if he really cared about you why doesn't he make time for you. everybody works so i don't see how he never has time for you.after 7 months your contemplating seeing him again so he can satisfy his needs. i bet he only wants sex, do yourself a favor and don't give im sex and if he really cares about you like you say he does he'll stick around.