Why aren't you in a commune?

I've been reading through the threads and it seems like there are many people looking for communal living and can't find one that is a good fit. My family had searched for one at a certain point, but we simply gave up. Some of the ones we looked at were full immersion into a different way of life. Is there such a thing as communal living where the group shares things like gardening/farming, but still has their own place to live? Then there are others that are into nudity, group sex, religious themed, etc... those are also not for us.

I guess my ideal setting would be all of my friends living in a central location and all of us chipping in to raise our food while some of us, or even all of us, work for the "man". I don't know what you'd call that.

 

yah that's why so many of us oldsters involved starting calling it intentional community - you intend to live with those you do, rather than by happenstance
Most communities nowadays tend to do individual living circumstances - makes for less hassles...tend to share group endeavors while leaving room for the individual to do pretty much as they might desire so long as it does not create disharmony and the community is taken care of first. Many ask for certain hr input and then find that even there the individuals work so different that they have to assign time frameworks to the jobs (weeding a garden doing a decent job can take 1 an hr. another 10 hrs - so a medium of the time /task needs to be decided on).
Individuals can work to their own speed but the community has to have a modicum of understanding.
And communications is a must . But even there sometimes you need to say - iffn you cannot talk and work at the same time - sometimes it's best to be quiet.
Nighttime by the campfire we can pass the talking stick and/or set aside a day for ironing out our difficulties when they become too much and interfere with the group energy harmonics.

But too many don't realize that jumping into it and starting to do is doing it - talking about it is talking about it ...and though there is a time for talking - Intent is all important for real Intent is followed by action; and most have not the concept of what focusing the energy into doing is about - and take amiss when we who Do keep telling them this -
If you are not doing - then you just ain't.

And obversly - once you start doing, it no matter at what level, you are Doing ! Some think you just presto have community - ain't so.
Blessed are those who even if they don't stop flapping their gums Do And thankful for those who can do it quietly.... I open my mouth just because I hear so many bewailing yet god damn it doing nothing - just waiting sheeit - get up offn your asses and start doing - get your hands in the dirt - ground yourselfs

Lovin you all
just bein oldwolf and growlin

Namaste

 

My wife has 6 cats, 2 birds, 1 dog, a 20 gal fish tank, and me.
Does that count as a commune?

 

it is problem of conceptualization. u have conceived the ideal way of life style in the way of capitalist individualist style. your ideal is merely a friendly neighbourhood rather than a commune. why do u value working together but still insist on the boundary of your private life. here, i am not attact u but i think it is problem of value, facts could not do anything on issue of value.

 

here, i would like to argue that commune is a living arrangement in which pursue the ideal of positive liberty. on the other words, people in commune are speaking in one voice in which they have mutual arrangement on social interaction. it is not like liberalism which individual is supreme over other things, boundary of ego is expanding to as much as possible and collective conscience is not that strong as positive liberty, berlin calls it negative liberty

 

may be a difference in semantics Kollontai.... communities are different and choose whatever Path the majority of the group ...heh - or those remaining decide to take.
what you are talking about is the specific community you would like to manifest - others speak for themselves - even as you do.
to try to lock community into a specific philosophy is the reason they came about in the first place - as a way of living beyond the lockstep march of this society - not to initiate another lockstep march - no matter how idealistic
Viva variety.

Blessings

 

I just like having my own house. There is nothing wrong with wanting some privacy from the people I share a community with. Everyone needs their own sanctuary imo. I can't afford to be much of a materialist, but no one survives without interacting with main stream society in this country. Not even the Amish.

 

I am in a commune. Twin Oaks Community. So far it fit me well. I've been here 18 months.

It is certianly not for everyone. It can be quite an adjustment.

Having a private house waistes so much, you have to have a private bathroom, a private kitchen, more building materials, your own heating system.

Sharing housing means we live very well on very little. We use less power and less money by sharing. This happens in many ways and is the root of our success.

Having less privacy is also a challenge. We all get our own rooms, and there is space that can be signed out for private time or whatever.

It's all a trade off. What's important to you.

 

I wish I was in a commune!
Peace to all.

 

hm... I don't think it's mainstream society that's a problem... theres always been a "mainstream", it's the progressive, consumerism fed by overindulging (sp?) the need to "grow" into something more "human" than human. wanting your own house is fine, in my opinion, great. each person/family unit should in fact be it's own sustainable force. A commune (in my opinion) isnt a family or an attempt to recreate a family with what amounts to strangers. It's more or less a group of families, all strangers to each other, comming togather for the greater good of all families. the problem with the self styled "mainstream" society is that it pushes towards some unknown goal, be it finding jesus, going to the stars or NWO and one-government rule, even world peace. (though I don't see how weapons and media fits into that one) I think what your looking for are communities such as those in large urban areas that provide housing, and instead of supporting your family on your own, it's a close knit group that not depend, but can rely on each other for vital needs and a helping hand. you don't want a commune, you just want a friendly neighborhood.

 

For several years my husband and I dreamed of being in a commune and actually attempted it a few times, but it didn't take. It was a good lesson in exploring what it is we really want and value deep down. I think there is an element that we have discovered within us that is just not open to compromise. Freedom. Freedom to come, to go, to do what we really want, to live as we choose without having to conform to something that feels restrictive to us. This is a must for us in our home environment. Of course there is an obvious conformity that exists in society and unless we decided to be hermits and live out in the middle of nowhere away from society, we have to conform to society in some manner. This is acceptable to us, within reason. But at home we must have that space to be ourselves totally.

Also... honesty. We have a level of honesty with each other that I've never encountered anywhere else, with anyone else. It's an honesty with ourselves as much as with each other. We're both very sensitive to bullshit and don't fling it at each other. And we're able to speak so openly and truthfully with each other and share so much that it's a depth of relating that is very rare.

Thirdly, we maintain a level of peace and love in our home that is of utmost importance to us. Our home space is sacred. It is a space we have created based on deep love, peace and freedom to be truly ourselves. This energy is something that we don't want to compromise. It is a balancing act that requires a constant feeding of honesty, love and peace. Occassional slips happen, of course, but the flow must be picked up quickly and the balance resumed. I've found that few people are able to maintain such an energy and relate at such a level. No fault of theirs, it's just the way it is.

When living in close proximity people's pain and unconscious reactions come to the surface. Few people have the ability to handle the negativity without losing perspective and attacking those near them. Unconsciousness breeds more unconsciousness. It takes much conscious presence and strength to not be affected by someone's negativity. And I guess we're not quite so masterful yet as to be able to handle so much of it, as most people have much of it from my experience. I can handle the negativity in smaller doses without reacting to it, but day in and day out in my home environment... no thanks. I'd rather be a hermit, to tell the truth.

Actually in a way I've become one. I can be in the midst of society and be very friendly and outgoing, but at the same time there's something within me that's become very... I dunno.... self sufficient. I like my time alone. I like the quiet. I don't have such a need for people as I used to. I still love people and enjoy them in many ways, but the need for them has subsided quite a bit. I find that I've lost all my desire to be in a commune. Not that I'm against it, in theory. But the vision I have is of a certain type of commune... where true peace and stillness reigns... where love abounds... where joy is shared... and maybe I'm just a dreamer. But until I meet those that share my dream in the manifestation of their present day to day existence, as I do now, I will not compromise the way of life I value most.

 

AHO playing the blues and maintaining the fires,

You speak what few who have not Done can See.
Came by my hotmail moniker of nomad hermit for many of the reasons you name.
It is so important that in community you "hold out" for the right people - especially at first.
I always figured that after the community was established and more people started coming in - I'd leave to go start another. Because that special feeling and those special people tend not to survive outside of the sensitive Harmony that they Need to be able to function together.
It's funny about community rules - they are needed, but not usually for the core group - that core group gives unsparingly of themSelfs and are Open to each other, striving to be true to Self and empower each and every one to that wholeness of Self that comes from Being True and Open. So you make rules and when they actually must be enforced, you find those that initiate the founding of a love based community for self empowerment and truth to Self, tend to get itchy feet.
Not that we abandon - but it's time to leave to those who come after the lessons they choose, for they also must learn and Grow.. It's also nice to have places to come back to in your travels, where one feels welcome and can find for that time of sharing a place to do the Work and help the energy carry on.
A rare breed - but they do exist and they invariably move on after the start up when more "mainstream " Doers arrive - nothing against those that need security, but after being the fool and giving your all, without the need for success or security, and sharing so deeply to try manifest and stay true, and yet still empower and seek the highest potential of each... well the abyss beckons again and Change is something we've learned to embrace for to be flexible means being open to Growth .

So well met my friends - you know we really must get together and sit across the campfire of friendship from each other and bathe in the comraderie of spirit those of like mind find together. We been missing you and send our love wending your Way.....Grow on - ...Enjoy !

Blessings Be with you

Namaste

 

Hi there Oldwolf!
I feel you sense what I was saying there. Yes, as far as rules go, the type of community I would be a part of would need no rules, and the code of conduct would automatically adhere to one of love & peace in various forms. I'm afraid that if rules become necessary then that's my cue to move on, and it's something that happens automatically, where my interest level just drops, as this would indicate that a certain level of Harmony wasn't reached... and no written rules and guidelines can substitute for a level of relating that either IS or IS NOT. Not to say that someone who may as yet be at the IS NOT stage could not reach the IS stage soon... but it's not my desire or intention to serve as anyone's teacher or leader or any such nonsense. I either sense a close enough compatibility or recognize the obvious disconnect.

Ah.. to have a place to come back to from my travels. I think I must have the turtle as my totem animal. I take my "home" with me. I've been a gypsy all my life... and no place ever REALLY feels like home. Yet in another sense, everything feels like home, because Home is really no place. As far as an earthly home... that has its benefit and a certain level of enjoyment too. I do not really require anything "permanent" but would take great pleasure in such a place if I were to have it. I figure if that path is meant for me it'll manifest. Luckily I'm flexible and adaptable enough that I could enjoy many different environments.

Recently I've felt very drawn to the Pacific Northwest and we moved here just a short while ago. I am absolutely in love with it. Everyday I revel in the beauty. In a way I feel I'm at home here... at least I intuit that this is where I need to be at present. From a different perspective I feel that my "home" is with my husband... the one with whom I have the relationship based on Harmony. This Harmony is the energy of Home, no matter where, when or with whom it is shared, but I also discover it when alone, in the quiet moments.

*Smile* I'd love to get together with you Oldwolf. Unfortunately there are a couple of miles between us... would make for a long walk eh? But if ever destiny or the forces-that-be bring us together, know that it would be a welcome gathering. Of course you're always welcome to come over if you come to the PNW. Love and Blessings to you also.

 

Thank you.
I will take you up on that when I again start traveling. course the you all seem to travel a wee bit more than i have lately.

Feel that community is like family in that the parents got to get out of the way of the kids that they help to open to their own way of living here on this wonderful planet - so too the people who initiate must open the Way for others to take on their own Paths.

Love and Blessings Be with you along your Way.

Namaste

 

I wish there was a good web-directory of local communes. Being nomadic of nature, it would be helpful.

 

http://www.ic.org/

that's a _Great_ place to look.

I could also reccomend http://www.thefec.org/

and there is a conference on Community Living and Community Values in my home community this fall. We've been holding this conference for about 25 years.

http://www.CommunitiesConference.org/

 

Thanks for posting those links I've been looking to either go on the road and live freely or join a loving commune.

Thanks again!

 

I'm not in a commune because.. well.. aren't communes communist?

 

I happily support socialism.

 

I happily support capitalism.