a mother's thoughts on the tragedy at Beslan, Russia

a mother's thoughts on the tragedy at Beslan, Russia, September 2004

did the children of Beslan
have porridge for breakfast
on the morning of their first day of school,
stirred by loving hands
served with gentle admonisions to be good for the teacher
and learn a lot of things today?

did they wear new shoes?
did they await the return to classes
new book bags, crisp notebooks
laughing with friends they missed
over the long summer?
did they stand in clusters in the schoolyard
before the day began,
did they hug and taunt each other,
pass notes,
whisper in class?

did their mothers see them off to class?
were their younger siblings jealous, and proud?
did their fathers kiss their mothers
when they left for work that morning?
did they have happy homes?
did they understand why grown-ups sometimes fight?

what had happened to their nice school clothes
when they were carried,
naked and bleeding from the schoolhouse?
did they pretend it was coca-cola
or chocolate milk, when told
to drink their urine in the gymnasium's heat?
when they fainted away from terror,
did they dream about their rooms at home?

many children do not cry now,
will never cry again,
but their families shall weep forever.
two hundred and more
votives burn on my heart's altar
for mourning fathers and wailing mothers,
little sisters who ask,
when is my brother coming home from school?

but, oh, i am so selfish!
for in spite of the tears i shed
for those families half a world away,
weeping and shattered,
i thank whatever gods that are
that it wasn't you!
indulgently i sing the praises of
your ringlets, your freckles,
the smudge of chocolate at the corner of your mouth.
unrestrained, i rejoice
in the extravagance of your giggles,
the mess you made of the living room,
the juice you spilled on the kitchen floor.

oh, my little ones
let me hold you close!

 

This being more personal to you, holds more value to me.
Thank you for showing your compassion.

 

thats powerful, i think the poem is even more emotional because you are a mother, whose own deep love and compassion for your child comes through.