This morning my shy guy text messaged me good morning, and I messaged back. He asked me to come give him a blow job, which sometimes happens. Initially I was almost excited to go. Any other day I would have been. But my job had called me earlier and asked me to finish some paperwork. I would have had to bicycle all the way across town to blow him, then come all the way back to my job, then take a bus someplace else and come back to his place to get my bicycle. Plus I was in the middle of breakfast and frankly I got pissed because everything is always on HIS terms and never on mine. I cried a little -- a lot -- and texted back to ask if I could do it later. He said he would be busy and would rather have it now. I told him to do it himself. He got angry and said he'd told me we'd have problems if I ever told him that again (I must have said it months and months ago, I don't even remember saying it in the first place). I said I was sorry and backtracked, letting him know I knew I was selfish and not a good whore. He told me not to blame him for being a whore, and I said I had thought it was what he wanted. He said that just because he wanted it didn't mean I should do it. I have been trying for months to put my own desires aside and just do what everyone else wants -- my employers, my mother, him -- but I just can't seem to break even. I do something hideously selfish just when I start to make up for the last time I did something hideously selfish. I should have just gone over to blow him. I don't know how I am ever going to deserve a good person, even thirty years from now, if I can't stop being so selfish now.
Not wanting to give a BJ isn't selfish. Just say not today I am really busy. Life isn't about pleasing everyone else. Wanting things for yourself isn't selfish.
you are not selfish for not blowing him when HE wanted a blow job. and you cannot please any one if you haven't pleased yourself.youo need to figure out who you are and what makes you happy before you can enter into any MUTUAL relationship. healing begins with yourself
What I want is healthy interaction with another person, and not just when THEY want it ... I want to be able to do things sometimes when it fits my own schedule. But then I think that I am selfish for wanting that. I know who I am, just not how I relate to others -- or if I ever even can!
You only get the respect in life that you demand. At this point you are a someone to walk all over and discard later. This is all your own fault. Nobody elses.
PS: I wrote this thread out of pure terror in the middle of a fight. But I really do think I am terribly selfish and feel a need to punish myself for it, deprive myself of things that I want so that I will stop wanting them. I kind of hate it, but don't think I deserve any better. It's scary.
Yes,you're a selfish bitch if you don't jump and jump NOW,any time a man tells you what to do.I don't understand how you think you should even be alive ,you're so selfish!Now--GET DOWN ON YOUR KNEES,GET OVER HERE AND SUCK MY DICK!!!! NOW!!-----------OK--is that the way you want to be treated?I think you need to stay away from men(or women) as far as a relationship goes and concentrate totally on introspection to find out why you fancy being walked on.Come on girl--your looks are fine and life is for the living.Don't settle for pricks that act like that guy.The world is full of people that would treat you with love and respect---you just have to learn that you deserve it.Sorry to be so rough,but I'm not a bullshitter and as one fellow human to another---love and respect to you and make your OWN luck.NOW!!
suncatch your too hard on yourself gurl. ride your bike all the way across town just to give dude a 5 minute blow job, thats stupid. if he wants to get his dick sucked then tell him to come to you.
you need some better friends. this dude sounds like a prick. you told him you didn't want to blow him and he said there would be problems if you ever said that again? do i understand that correctly? sounds like dude is taking advantage of you. what does HE put into the relationship? ask that.
not wanting to give someone a blowjob because youre busy isnt selfish not wanting to bike around a go out of your way just for a sexual encoutner (where it doesnt even sound like you get to get off) isnt at all selfish next time he wants a bj, tell him to come over and get it if he wants. why should you do -all- the work, the getting there an dthe bj, just for him? thats just silly
you deserve so much more than this asshole! he is trying to play you big time and you need to cut him off. Any guy that will say things like that to you are not worth your time. Never settle for anything less than you deserve. I see too many of my friends being treated this way, and none of them, and you, don't need to apologize for it. fuck him.
FIRST of all its very rude to say good morning then give me a bj. NO i would called him all sorts of names if he didthat to me and no you're not selfish. men are like that, if they dont get what they want, they turn into selfish bitches themselves. not all men but most us girls see today and its pathetic! you need to lose him Quick! i had one of those and it wasnt pretty
that wouldn't fly with me...he sounds like the selfish one. I love giving my bf head, but could never in a million years imagine him asking me to in anyway, especially through a freaking text message.
I agree 100 percent! A guy who doesn't love you will treat you as poorly as you let him and will never fall in love with you because he knows you don't love yourself. Take some time off from relationships until you know you deserve the best! It worked wonders for me and even the people I dated who I didn't et serious with they helped me learn what I didn't want in a guy and I had a lot of fun.
